Title: Harvey’s Diary , Just another magic Monday
Author: Demi Guynes
Celebs: Harvey Weinstein, Lady Victoria Hervey, Scarlett Johanson, Lindsay Lohan
Codes: Consent, escorts, casting couch
Disclaimer: This is fiction, it did NOT happen. Fantasy is legal. Like, duh, I am not Harvey Weinstein.
Glug, glug, glug, glug, glug, Vicky Hervey just kept on gurgling. Her skinny butt lay out on the bed, as it did most Thursdays at the Hollywood Sheraton Executive suite. Over 6-foot, black lingerie just like I wanted, and better suction than a Miele vacuum cleaner. After 3 mouthfuls the same whining would always begin, “Harv, when am I going to get a role with screen credits” she’d ask, and I would have to flip her over and talk about some hair brained scheme I had just thought of with Matt and Ben, with Lady Vicky as some sort of female 007. Shit she could not act to save herself- surely she knew that. So, flip her over and wow what a tight ass. I loved it that most times she left she had trouble standing for a few minutes. I’m sure Georgina knew, I mean she and Lady V were strap fucking each other, I knew that, so I mean I didn’t ask any questions and neither did Georgina. These British girls and their boarding schools. Now that’s a great idea for a movie.
Later that day my assistant Samantha called to say the numbers on my latest block buster had just come through. “Great work, dumb bitch” I told her “Ring Scar Jo for a meeting at 7”. I loved Scarlett. She had been in all my blockbusters. “No pussy Harv, just a motor boating “ was her usual rule. I couldn’t wait for cock tails at 7 p.m.
I spent all afternoon with the finance team. Kevin the tax guy had come up with some Dutch partnership, something, something, Curacao, something, and told the Arabs investors that boosted their yields 30%. “Prince Hassim won’t deliver Harv, it needs your negotiating skills” he said- which was like stating the obvious. “I’m a Jew boy, what does some towel head need from me” I replied. But sure, enough there we were at 5 pm in a bar with 5 Saudi guys drinking Glenlivet, talking about some Limey soccer team and The Saudi whinging to Kevin that we didn’t even have a cast lined up. “Prince, Uncle Harv always delivers” I told him. “Sure” said the Prince “but this is a musical and The Weinstein Company has no track record of that and you want a $ 200m cheque. I need convincing”. Yeah, I thought I need a skull fuck from Scar Jo, who is upstairs rubbing one out right now, and sending me pictures to my burner. Then it dawned on me and I dragged the Prince to one side. “Is it a religious problem with me ““I asked. “I meant I’m not observant and frankly the pussy in the West Bank is skanky”. “No” laughed the Prince “I just don’t see how it will work – an all-girl musical…I mean in my country women are good for only one thing and it’s not driving cars”. I have a knack for the art of the deal. “Okay “I said, “come with me” and we took the elevator to the penthouse.
“What the fuck is thus” said Scar Jo as we walked in. “Your next film is what this is” I replied. “Scarlett meet Prince Hassim. Prince this is how films are made. Scarlett is a Jew like me and she wants $ 3M minimum and a profit split. The rest is special effects, extra casting, and re sales which I have done with a 3 times money put. Scar Jo, The Prince has no problem with us Jews running Hollywood and he has a $ 200 million cheque for the Musical project. So, Scarlett time to caste”. And she did what she does so well. Knees to floor, hand on her new boyfriends Zegna suit, buckle down, skull straight on the job. “Only 1 of you though “she said as the tears started to streak. Fuck women are useless at sales. But the towel head with a Jew girl on her knees, he shot his donkey dick within 90 seconds.
Fortunately, that’s when the security guys called me. Lilo had arrived in the foyer, just like I texted here. First role in 4 years, glad she was on time for once. But totally coked up as usual, yet ready for action. “Get that dumb bitch up here now, get the poppers in, and sober her up however you have to”. Some 8 minutes later in staggered Lindsay, clearly 4 shots too many, but those tits spilling out of her dress. Scar Jo looked up. “we have our cast, Prince Hassim” I said. “Now for a command performance “. At which time Lilo lifted her dress and knelt against the sofa, ass up. The Prince sauntered across the room, bent her double, and went straight up the redhead’s poop shoot. She’s tight. I love Lilo’s tight ass, but a deal is a deal and the Prince had to be entertained. He was very happy. “I like you Harvey. You do this a lot?” “Anyone you want I can get her in a film- Alba, Kidman, Paz de la Huerta to squeal on command”. He smiled “I will send the money this evening”.” Thank you, your Highness. We will clean up the Lohan bitch and have her at your hotel at 9”. “Thank you, Harvey, she is tighter than any young boy I have ever had in the Kingdom, and Madeline McCann”.
“Call me Harv” I smiled. The night was young. So was Scar Jo. She had baby oil, some lingerie, and whipped cream ready. “Grab them by the pussy “an old property development buddy had once told me in New York. “Yeah fuck, she’s hot as shit”. I texted the wife that I would be home late. Just another day in Hollywood.