…Make Me Feel So Damned Unpretty, Part 9: Charmed And dangerous

A great big hug and kiss to Brittany Murphy for that

Ashton Kutcher/Demi Moore joke on Letterman – I really

hope he was watching…

Moving on, the real people as presented in this story

are not intended to be portrayed as they are in real

life. The fictional characters are the properties of 3

Arts Entertainment, Bad Robot, Cameron/Eglee

Productions, Deedle-Dee Productions, Disney

Enterprises, Hanna-Barbera Cartoons, Judgemental

Films, Kuzui Enterprises, Marathon Animation, Mutant

Enemy Inc., Paramount Pictures Corporation,

Renaissance Pictures, Sandollar Television, Spelling

Television, TF1, Touchstone Television, Twentieth

Century Fox Film Corporation and Universal Worldwide

Television, and are used here purely for fantasy

purposes. The content here isn’t meant for under-18s,

and any comments to go to cindylover1969@yahoo.co.uk

or to the message boards.

Alyssa Milano says “Previously on ‘…Make Me Feel So

Damned Unpretty'”:

The second of the three projected couplings to bring

about the Crossover between the fictional and real

worlds has taken place, and as a result they’re

together for a trial period (so to speak) of 24 hours.

Jennifer Garner and Sydney Bristow are en route to get

to Velma, the performers who were in the fictional

world are back in the real one with the stars of one

of Howard’s projected “Charmed” fantasies, Gabrielle

Union (who’s on to the plan) is likely to get her very

shapely ass handed to her by Faith and Tracy Ryan, and

Ellen has joined Max and Evil Piper at the late Lisa

Thompson’s house for the aim of fucking the object of

the third and deal-sealing element of the Threesome,

Michelle Trachtenberg. Oh yeah, and Brin – one of

Max’s rivals from Manticore – is also in the real

world, and is after Jessica Alba. Now read on…

* * * * * * * * * *

Howard’s mother dangled the plug in front of his eyes,

she convinced that she was doing something positive,

he boiling with anger. “WHAT HAVE YOU DONE?!” Howard

yelled at his mother. “Do you have ANY IDEA WHAT YOU


“Stopped you from writing any more of that filth you

like,” his mother replied. “You’ll thank me for this

one day.”

“Plug it back in,” Howard seethed. “PLUG IT BACK IN!”

“Of course,” mum agreed, safe in the knowledge that

his work was now deleted forever, and put the power

back on. “But I need you to give me the notes you did

for that story you were writing as well, and don’t try

and tell me you don’t have any.”

The sullen lad handed over the paper on which he had

fleshed out Velma’s specification; she studied it, and

took out her cigarette lighter. Howard watched her

incinerate “Fantasy Crossover 3: The Charmed Ones Meet

Dawn Summers,” with a satisfied look on her face.

“That’s a start,” she said. “Now how about the rest?”

“Can’t they wait until tomorrow?”

Howard’s mother nodded. “All right; the parental

controls can wait. Trust me, kid; you’ll thank me for

this one day.”

She finally left him alone, and the lad sat down at

the keyboard again. She had indeed destroyed his

outline, and Howard did find it easier to write when

he had something to refer to. Usually. But he had

managed to write “The Undiscovered Country,” a short

story about Hilary Duff and Raven-Symone discovering

the joys of masturbation singly and together, off the

cuff one night; if he could do it once, he could do it

again. He cast his eyes to the pictures on the wall

above him, for inspiration.

“This one’s for you, ladies,” he said softly, and

started to write, as Jessica Alba and Jennifer Garner

gazed down on him fondly.

* * * * * * * * * *

Jennifer and Sydney reflected on how cooperative

Clover had been; she had told them everything apart

from Velma’s favourite colours. (Purple and orange.)

But the thing she had told them of the most importance

was where Velma was going to be – she was going to be

sitting in on the final teaming. Not taking part, just

watching (pervert). The two women couldn’t believe

just how easy this was going to be; they were speeding

to Lisa Thompson’s house, and as soon as they got

there it would be all over.

And now they were – “Pull over!” Jennifer shouted

suddenly. “I know that car! It’s Scott…”

“Scott can wait,” Sydney replied, and yelled an

instant later as Jennifer slammed on the brakes.

“He’s still my husband!” she shouted, and ran out of

the car as it skidded to a stop, racing towards the

other one, her head filled with questions; at least

one of which was answered when she looked inside. Her

husband and Michael Weatherly were in there, slowly

starting to awaken.

Jennifer peered closer, seeing that they were trying

to say something. “Scott?” she asked. “Mike?”

Scott blearily turned his head to face Jennifer.


“What happened to you?” she asked, opening the car

door as Sydney caught up with them, taking in the

situation at a glance.

“Ellen happened to us… we were following Max… you

gotta stop her…”

* * * * * * * * * *

Clover was still back at Jennifer’s place. It was true

that her toe had grown back good as new, and that she

had given them the information they wanted, but

neither had been that eager to let her go, which is

why she was still tied up. And these live ones really

knew their business too – it wasn’t even like she

could slip out of it. Roger Rabbit was right; you

could only do it if it was funny, and she didn’t feel

like laughing now.

It wasn’t even like she had brought something that she

could cut herself loose with. Clover began to wonder

if she could wear down the rope by rubbing it up and

down the radiator pipe she was tied to… it would

take her a while, but it was a chance…

* * * * * * * * * *

All roads led to Lisa’s house that early morning,

including the ones being taken, separately, by Rose

McGowan and Alyssa Milano. Alyssa was fretting about

having to come out there; she was no stranger to

after-show festivities, but they usually had a

gathering at her place or Rose’s, or occasionally even

Holly’s. (And when Shannen had been on the show…)

But given who the guests were, and given how they had

all gotten the feeling that this was going to be one

of their better shows (even Alyssa knew that strict

quality control was not one of “Charmed”‘s strong

points), she felt she could stretch a point.

“Damn, girl gets paid a lot!” she laughed as she drew

up to the side entrance of Lisa’s house, jumped out of

her car and ran over to the front door, wondering how

Rose was doing with her instructions; she wasn’t too

good behind the wheel…

“What kept you?” Rose grinned, answering the door in a

teddy, the lads she had been with earlier on either

side, one licking her ear, the other sinking his teeth

into one of her boobs. “Come on, Micelli, the party’s

been on for a while…”

“Who needs Michelle?” the younger boy murmured as he

tasted Rose’s tits. “I love you, McGowan…”

“Don’t knock Dawn,” the older kid tut-tutted. “But

Rose IS fine…”

Alyssa edged by Rose and the Trachtenbergites, and

made her way inside, listening to the increasing


Gasping, cursing… yep, it sounded like someone was

getting lucky. The someone, she soon found out, was

Shego, lying on the carpet as Holly/Evil Piper lay on

HER carpet. Shego was naked, writhing and giving vent

to some very un-Disney Channel-ish language as she

felt Evil Piper’s mouth between her legs, with the

real lady rubbing her all over as she licked.

“Mmmmm… ummmmm…. ahhhh…” Evil Piper never talked

much when she was on the job. She was always hungry

for the sex of either gender, and if it was as nice as

Shego’s all the better. Alyssa was glad that the

toon’s eyes were closed so she couldn’t see that her

audience was getting hot and bothered watching, but

she was also studying Evil Piper’s gyrating body as

the bad witch munched. There were little beads of

sweat breaking out all over, and E.P.’s legs were open

slightly. Alyssa’s eyes travelled down her horny bare

back to the little fuzz that she could see poking out

between her legs. Surely a little taste wouldn’t do

any harm…

“Shego here is just Piper’s appetizer,” Max laughed

behind her. “Wait’ll you see who the main course is –

Velma’s warming her up now,” she added, leading a

curious Alyssa into the next room. “Alyssa, meet…”

Max’s voice tailed off as she saw the mess in that

room. There were all the signs of a massive fight,

which had been hidden due to the thickness of the

walls. On the sofa there was a stunned, wounded

female, who had put up a strong battle but been

overpowered by the rage of her opponent.

“Where the FUCK is Trachtenberg?!” Max shouted at


“I tried to hold her while you and Ellen were having

your fun…” Velma mumbled. “That kid’s tougher than I

thought she’d be…”

“Wait, Michelle’s here?” Alyssa asked.

“Where’d she go?” Max asked.

“Upstairs… all the doors are locked but she might

try and get out through a window…” but by that time

Max and Alyssa were off after her, racing upstairs and

splitting up, Max taking the left, Alyssa the right.

Each went checking room after room, but not a sign of

her yet. But Michelle couldn’t get far, that they were

willing to bet on.

Up on the roof, Michelle Trachtenberg sat shivering in

the early morning, hoping and praying that they

wouldn’t look up here. Otherwise, there would be no

place to go but down…

* * * * * * * * * *

Bright-eyed and bushy-tailed, Gabrielle Union arrived

on the location for the fight, pleased that she was

there early, even if her co-stars weren’t. Gabby had

heard the stories, and she figured that one of her

co-stars was getting what the English called “a leg

over.” Well, it was a cold morning, and they needed

all the warmth they could get.

On the other side of the location, Brittany Murphy/Tal

was complaining. Not because it was cold, or because

the (quite nice) body she was in was older than she

remembered – after all, this was 2003 and “Clueless”

came out in 1995 – but because she was being held back

from fucking Tracy/Luanne.

“C’mon, I need her! I deSERVE her!!!” she howled as

Faith held her back with one arm while the brunette

nuzzled Tracy’s neck.

“Told you, it’s not safe – you can’t have two people

brought to life by the same person fucking, even where

we come from. Who knows what’ll happen…” Tracy

murmured. “How about eating my pussy, Faith?”

“No time,” Faith replied with regret. “But you can

munch me, Tally.”

Tal didn’t want to fuck Faith; she wanted Tracy.

“Screw it,” she muttered, as the other two embraced.

“I’ll just watch…”

She did have to admit that studying Tracy as she dug

her hands into Faith’s flesh was good fun. If nothing

else, they were sure getting warm this morning, even

if they were only indulging in heavy petting. VERY

heavy petting; their tongues were now deep inside each

other’s mouths as they felt each other. Faith was deep

down not wanting the day production ended to arrive,

but on the other hand she could still be Tracy’s

secret lover; she didn’t want to be Luann’s…

“HEY! You’re changing again!” Tal squealed as Tracy’s

legs began to transform from live to animation.

“Sorry – I keep forgetting myself when I’m around,”

Tracy muttered, taking her mind off Faith’s lips for a

moment and bringing herself back to normal.

“You know, if you ever bring that in control it might

be fun for you to try and change back and forth one

day,” Faith beamed. “After we’ve handled Gabby, that

is. Now come on, we’ve gotta finish this later…”

* * * * * * * * * *

“So who’s going to go and ask where they went?”

Brittany queried outside the studios.

“We might not have to ask,” Kirsten suggested. “We’ve

got witches here, remember?”

“Oh yeah, you can scry for Piper!” Jessica agreed.

“Find Piper, we find all the others. Or maybe you

could find something of mine… I mean Max’s… in the

studio, get something off it.”

“I can’t turn my powers on and off,” Phoebe pointed

out. “But it’s worth a try.” And the others stayed in

the shadows as she crossed the street, glad that it

was a cold night – it made her nipples stand out,

which made it a bit easier to charm the guards, except

on nights when that lice-infested heterophobe Shelley

was on duty. Luckily he wasn’t…

Safely inside, and explaining that she had returned to

get back a bag she had left on set, Phoebe was soon

searching for something that she could use. Jessica…

MAX… had gotten the key guest room, and the psychic

witch was handling anything and everything she could.

Lipstick, tissues, the chair, anything – nothing. Not

a trace.

“It’s like I said,” she said to herself picking up

Max’s copy of the episode script. “You can’t turn it

on and OFFF – ”

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

“No!!! NO!!! OH GOD NO!!!!” Michelle begged and prayed

for the women to stop, but Max had all the strength on

her side, and Velma was no less determined. The two

women held the kicking and fighting teenager down on

the lawn as Piper grasped her thighs, spread them

apart, and prepared to plunge the massive strap-on she

was wearing deep into Michelle, ignoring the girl’s


_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Phoebe flung the script to the far side of the room

and backed away. It would be a far less ebullient Miss

Halliwell who would carry a handbag and say goodnight

to the guard in a few minutes; she had found what she

was looking for, and wished she hadn’t.

* * * * * * * * * *

“Thanks for the ride,” Brin told the driver

cheerfully, as he stopped several streets away from

Lisa’s place.

“My pleasure,” the driver replied, looking at Brin’s

trim body with interest. “Hope you find what you’re

looking for.”

“Oh, I will,” she smiled, carrying her package as she

got out of the car, feeling the man’s eyes lingering

on her rump. Brin secretly resented the way he had

kept looking at her with undisguised lust ever since

he had picked her up thinking she was a hitchhiker,

but he had gotten her a lot closer to where she wanted

to go, and he hadn’t tried anything. She figured the

least she could do was let him live.

Besides, she’d already left two corpses on her way to

paying Alba back.

* * * * * * * * * *

Jennifer and Sydney brought up the car right outside

Lisa’s house, with the guys in the back seat; they

were okay, but neither was in anything like a good

condition to go in there and help out. In this case,

the best man for the job… and so on.

“But if you see anyone coming who isn’t a friend…”

and Sydney gave Scott her spare gun. “It may be from

my world, but it fires real bullets.”

“I don’t know how to use one of these things.”

“Okay, follow these rules. One – point it at someone.

Two – pull the trigger.”

* * * * * * * * * *

Max and Alyssa were running out of rooms to search,

and Michelle’s spirits were starting to rise. She had

been up here for a little while, and they hadn’t

thought to come up here… maybe she’d be safe? She

started to get up, thinking that she could make her

way to the rear of the roof, jump down to the fire

escape, climb down and run like hell. The gangling

teenager stretched, and made her way along the roof.

It was still pretty cold, but Michelle was warming up

at the thought of getting away… not a sound was

coming from behind her. She reached the edge of the

roof where she knew the fire escape was, and levered

herself over the edge.

“Gee, now that’s service,” Max, waiting below on the

fire escape, said kindly as she “caught” Michelle.

“Now are you gonna give us a hard time or are you

going to play along?”

Michelle played along…

* * * * * * * * * *

The distance to Lisa’s house was so far that Paige

couldn’t orb all of them there at once, so the sensual

Wiccan had to make several round trips; the horrified

Phoebe and Holly Marie first, followed by Kirsten and

Brittany, then the Gabriel sisters, and finally Paige,

SMG and Jessica. When the latter three materialized,

Paige apologising for not being able to bring all of

them so far, and the others telling her not to be so

damn stupid because none of THEM could orb at all,

they quickly decided that they’d split into two

groups. At around the same time, Jennifer and Sydney

arrived, and also decided to split up.

And also around that time, Brin arrived on the scene.

She started to look for Jessica…

Michelle had behaved herself as she was carried down

to the ground by Max and Alyssa, and brought face to

face with Velma. “Thanks for your help, Alyssa. You go

now,” she told her.

“But what about – ” Alyssa started, and froze.

Michelle gaped at the woman; she was standing there,

still as a statue. She touched Alyssa gingerly; not a


“That bitch can be really annoying,” Evil Piper

commented as she strode up to them. “Now let’s get the

show on the road. I could freeze you as well, but it’s

not as much fun if they don’t squirm a bit – I

learned that the hard way.”

While Evil Piper disrobed, Michelle started to run

anyway, but Max clutched her and threw her onto the

grass, as Velma tore at her clothes, exposing the

teenager’s body to the night air. She was really quite

beautiful, but none of them were interested in doing a

Vivid Video tape right now. Michelle repeated tried to

get up, horrified of what was going to happen.

“Alyssa, HELP!!!” she begged the frozen woman,

standing just inches from her, not even knowing what

was happening. She clamped her thighs together tightly

in a last ditch effort, but Velma slapped her hard

across the face, and as her body reacted her legs

relaxed. She had no time to try and run again as she

was pinned to the grass.

Velma carefully felt Michelle’s pussy. “You’re in

luck, Piper,” she told the witch with a grin. “You’ll

be the first to do her.”

“Always a bonus,” Evil Piper chuckled.

“No!!! NO!!! OH GOD NO!!!!” Michelle begged and prayed

for the women to stop, but Max had all the strength on

her side, and Velma was no less determined. The two

women held the kicking and fighting teenager down on

the lawn as Piper grasped her thighs, spread them

apart, and prepared to plunge the massive strap-on she

was wearing deep into Michelle, ignoring the girl’s


“Damn, I want to get those sweet jugs of yours in my

mouth…” Evil Piper grinned, and pulled herself back

to enter – as she was knocked off the terrified girl

by another woman, who came flying out of what seemed

like nowhere.

“Hey, I want to stand in for Letterman, but that’s

never gonna happen either,” Holly Marie Combs snarled,

and smashed Evil Piper in the face. Evil Piper made a

hand motion Holly recognised very well, and darted out

of the way just as she let loose. A moment later Evil

Piper howled as she unintentionally “vanquished” Max,

who was in the line of fire, and sent her Express

Delivery back to her own world.

“Ah, FUCK! Still, it’s not like I need her to deal

with you…”

Michelle, meanwhile, was still in the thick of things;

she was being held down by Velma, whose hands were

stroking her legs. “You ever been to my home turf?”

she asked. “You’ll love it, I guarantee…”

“I don’t wanna go… to where you came from…”

Michelle grunted.

“Well, you’re going there anyway!”

Michelle lunged upwards and scratched Velma’s face

hard, digging the nails in to get the message home.

“You fucking BRAT!!!” Velma yelled, and grabbed a

nearby rock as Michelle started anew to scrabble free,

praying she could get out from under before Velma

smashed her head open, but fearing she wouldn’t…

A bullet flew out of Velma’s forehead, freezing her

evil expression. The rock rolled out of her hands and

landed harmlessly away from Michelle as the woman

collapsed, revealing Sydney Bristow and Jennifer

Garner behind her. This time it was Jennifer who had


“How the hell did this…?” Velma tried to think, as

at his keyboard Howard Johnson finished writing finis

to Velma’s career and pressed “Send,” posting the

story of how Michelle Trachtenberg had been saved from

being raped and making it, therefore, canon. He’d gone

along with Velma’s outline until the key moment of

Evil Piper about to enter Michelle, and he it was who

had also written in the others. Having them all

congregate at the house wasn’t the tidiest bit of

writing he had ever done, but it was a rush job, the

same way Whedon’s rewrite of the show that robbed him

of regular Jessica Alba had been a rush job. Now he

could take a bit more time to work in some more

pleasant sex.

The problem was, Howard hadn’t written in all the

elements. For instance, he hadn’t written in the

Gabriels, and neither had he had any resposibility for

Brin. He had also had no idea of something else…

“I told you to go for her shoulder!” Sydney snapped as

the two ran towards Michelle, who had finally gotten

out from under the woman.

“She was going to kill the girl!” Jennifer argued.

“But we need her alive… we still have to know what

happened to Middleton!” Sydney pointed out, and turned

Velma over, knowing even before she turned her that

she wouldn’t have much time. Michelle was up and

running in a flash before the others could stop her.

“She can’t help you anymore,” Evil Piper rasped,

standing over a newly frozen Holly Marie Combs, caught

in the act of trying to evade a spell. “But I can…

I’ll tell you what she did to Middleton and how to put

things back the way they were. But it’ll cost you.”

“What?” Jennifer asked.

“Bring back sweetcheeks and let me finish what I

started,” Evil Piper replied.

“Do you know what’ll happen if you – ” Sydney started.

“It’s not like you’ve got a choice, is it?” Evil Piper

answered. “You’re lucky I didn’t freeze you two as

well.” It was then that Jennifer and Sydney noticed

that Brittany, Kirsten, and Sarah were also petrified

around them…

* * * * * * * * * *

Clover finished freeing herself, and having had plenty

of time to think over what she should do next, she let

herself out and started to make her way back to

Disneyland. She really wanted to spend some more time

in this world, but she still had to hide before the

Crossover could happen. The hologram excuse wasn’t

going to last forever.

One good thing about being a cartoon – you could run

really fast when you wanted to; she was back at the

Magic Kingdom in no time flat. It wouldn’t be long

before she was with her friends again, and she could

work off some more of her fury. And she knew just who

the unfortunate punching bag would be. “Kimberly Ann

Possible, you’re mine,” she thought merrily.

* * * * * * * * * *

The script called for Gabrielle to have a full-on bout

with Eliza and Tracy; Eliza’s “Buffy the Vampire

Slayer” training stood her on firmer ground than

Gabrielle, but she had had enough lessons to look

convincing in a pinch. With cameras rolling, the women

took to the floor – well, the field, to start a

knockdown drag-out brawl that would take them right

inside a building where the fighting would continue.

Gabrielle was meant to get the upper hand and have the

drop on them before Brittany came swinging in and

knocked her through the rotting floor into a deep and

cavernous basement, where she – a few edits later –

would be impaled on a convenient pipe. Realism was not

this movie’s strong point.

Gabrielle would try to shoot them the way she had shot

their best friend earlier, but Eliza/Faith had knocked

the gun out of her hands and Gabrielle, in line with

the script, had nodded and beckoned at them to come

for her. The heroes had done so, and blows were being

exchanged thick and fast – but from the start

Gabrielle was uneasy. They were landing too close to

be just stunts; she was fighting back powerfully, but

despite landing some good blows she wasn’t raising

even a drop of blood. And though they were going to

the script, Tracy seemed to be taking too much


She couldn’t be fighting Faith, could she? And she

knew that when Faith got into the spirit – Gabrielle’s

mouth exploded as Faith kicked her in it. She could

taste the blood and a chipped tooth as Faith pummeled

her torso and sent her flying through the wall into

the building. Faith and Tracy high-fived each other as

they jumped in after her.

“Finish the bitch?” Faith whispered.

“Finish the bitch,” Tracy replied.

Gabrielle scrabbled through what she knew about her

show as the two women advanced on her, all the while

acting like she was ready to fight on. “Faith, wait…

I thought you were a reformed psycho!” she said, low

enough for only them to hear.

“That was just for show, Gabby,” Tracy replied. “Deep

down she’s still the same old Faith.”

“I wasn’t talking to you, Luanne.”

“Don’t mention that girl to me, Union,” she replied,

but she had been shaken for a second.

“She’s got a point, missy,” Faith said. “We like it up

here… no danger of being called up to relive our

past over and over and over in a friggin’ rerun, being

a real person… that’s why we’re doing the Crossover.

As soon as Piper pokes that little bitch who plays

Dawn… you know, we were gonna let you live to see it

happen, but you know what these sets are like…”

She stamped the floor in front of Gabrielle, and it

gave beneath her. The actress leaped away from the gap

that opened, and stood teetering on the edge – she

could see the floor of the basement fifty feet below.

“You just can’t get the help these days, can you?”

Tracy giggled. “And Revolution wanted to use makeup

effects to make it look like you got speared…”

* * * * * * * * * *

Brin studied the other team from her vantage point.

She had no idea what Eliza Dushku was doing there –

maybe she was doing location shooting for her movie or

something. All she knew was that she was down there

with some friends of hers… two of the bimbos from

that Spelling show about witches, Dawn off Buffy –

YES! There she was. Brin leaped to her feet and

started to tail Jessica, who was sticking close to the

others, but just slightly behind.

Brin figured that if she could separate her from the

others, getting her away from there would be

simplicity itself. Strong and fast though she was,

even she couldn’t run in there and sweep her off her

feet that quickly… or could she?

On the TV show, it was all done with special

photography. But this was real life, so one moment

Jessica was going along with the group towards the

house, the next moment there was a blur, a cry… and

the group, which formerly held six, now had five, all

on the ground out cold. Brin had overpowered them with

speed and was racing towards the house, a freshly

unconscious Jessica on her shoulder. She ran towards

the back, making for the fire escape – she wanted to

give Miss Alba a choice on how to die…

* * * * * * * * * * *

She regained consciousness soon afterwards, finding

herself on the roof of the mansion; Brin was standing

in front of her, wielding the sword.

“I’ve been waiting for this moment for two years,


“What are you talking about – ” and she winced as Brin

made a snickety-snick motion with the blade, slicing a

cut into her cheek.

“You left me cuffed to the wall at the end of the

first season! Remember? They never gave me any kind of

closure, so I had to stay there in limbo… either

that or wait for repeats so I had to go through it all

again. Okay, some Fans speculated that Madame X caught

me and killed me, but the Creators never bothered to

do that… and now the woman who played me was on

‘Dawson’s Creek.’ Do you know how humiliating that is?


“What do you want…?”

“I want you to die,” Brin hissed, and dragged her

captive up by her hair. “The battle ends, and I win.

But you’ve got a choice. You can jump, or…” and she

twirled the blade in front of the multiracial lady’s

face. Brin enjoyed the look of fear in her eyes as she

faced the choice. “You got three seconds.”

“Look… you’re making a terrible mistake. I can prove

it to YOUUUU—” She gurgled out her last breath as

Brin thrust the sword clean through her heart,

twisting it for extra impact. Oh, it had been sooooo

easy… and no one would be able to find her, because

as soon as the talentless airhead was dead Brin would

be on her way back to her own turf. She pulled back

the sword and watched the dying woman fall onto the

roof, wiping the blood on her forehead.

“You’ve been good to me,” Brin said to the sword, and

turned to see Melissa Gabriel standing there, with

company – once they had realised one of their own was

missing Paige had brought them all onto the roof, but

they had arrived too late to stop her. Melissa’s face

had an expression that caused Brin’s blood to run

cold, Phoebe’s face was drained almost white, and

Paige looked as if she had had her heart cut out, but

the woman standing next to her really shocked her.

“That was her sister you just killed, you

one-dimensional shit,” Jessica Alba said quietly.

“That was the woman I loved,” Paige said.

“The woman WE loved,” Phoebe added.

Brin threw her head back to gape at Ashley Gabriel’s

corpse. But she looked just like Jessica… when she

faced them again, the Halliwells and Melissa were

muttering a set of strange words. Whatever they were,

they were forcing Brin to lift the sword up. And turn

it so the blade was aiming for her. And bring it down

directly into her chest; she couldn’t scream because

she had sliced her vocal cords in the process.

“You should’ve left well enough alone,” Jessica told

her, as the transgenic started to turn wildly while

the chanting continued; the roof started to fall away

under Brin, opening up to reveal not the rooms inside,

but a bright red chasm into which the transgenic

plunged, taking the sword with her.

“She won’t die,” Paige said as the spell ended. “She’s

back to another kind of limbo – limbo in a loop. As

far as she’s concerned, she hasn’t even left.”

Indeed, Brin’s fall had gone black for a few seconds,

then when she “awoke” she found herself back on the

roof, facing Paige, Phoebe and Melissa again. They

were muttering a set of strange words. Whatever they

were, they were forcing Brin to lift the sword up. And

turn it so the blade was aiming for her. And bring it

down directly into her chest; she couldn’t scream

because she had sliced her vocal cords in the process.

“You should’ve left well enough alone,” Jessica told

her, as the transgenic started to turn wildly while

the chanting continued; the roof started to fall away

under Brin, opening up to reveal not the rooms inside,

but a bright red chasm into which the transgenic

plunged, taking the sword with her. Brin’s fall had

gone black for a few seconds, then when she “awoke”

she found herself back on the roof, facing Paige,

Phoebe and Melissa again. They were muttering a set of

strange words. Whatever they were, they were forcing

Brin to lift the sword up…

* * * * * * * * * *

Tracy and Faith jumped across the gap to join

Gabrielle, who jumped back herself. The floor under

her cracked and shook, but it didn’t give way.

“Please… don’t do this,” she begged.

“Why not? Won’t hurt us none,” Faith pointed out.

“Remember back when you and Shego came to get me?”

Gabrielle argued, as she heard another crack – the

floor wouldn’t hold out for much longer. “And Sydney

shot the two of you? It hurt, and it was for real.”

“That wasn’t me,” Tracy snapped. “That was NOT ME!”

“But it was me,” Tracy added, talking in another voice

as her face started to change. “She’s right – it

really did hurt… and it wasn’t just for a few

seconds like back home… SHUT UP, LUANNE!” she added

in her own voice. “We’ve got it made up here…”

“But you’ve still gotta follow some of the rules,

don’t you?” Gabrielle added, eyeing the rear window

and edging towards it. “And one of them is, up here

people actually do get hurt. Even Superman died once.”

“Oh, that thing? We didn’t buy that either,” Faith


“Think about it. You’ve got more powers but up here

you’re not immortal – it’s only in your place that you

live forever.” Gabrielle moved closer to the window.

“Live forever?” Luanne/Tracy asked, her face looking

more like Luanne and less like Tracy. “We can make you

guys unnecessary… but we can’t live forever here.”

“That’s right. Doesn’t matter how rich you get, how

famous you are, how many guys you turn on, in the end

everyone up here goes the same way. But back where

you’re from you’ve got it made.”

“So why don’t you join us then?” Faith asked, placing

her foot near a crack.

“Because I believe in keeping it real,” Gabrielle


“Fine. This is as real as it’s gonna get,” Faith

snapped, and raised her foot. Gabrielle turned tail

and ran for the window as she heard Faith bring her

foot down; the cracks in the floor widened, boards

gave way and a great gap opened up as the floor

collapsed… but by then Gabrielle had leaped through

the window to land on the grass outside, and could

hear the crashes as the boards plummeted onto the

basement floor. She looked back through the window as

the crew rushed towards the building, and they all saw

Tracy and Faith clinging to jutting-out boards,

desperately trying to climb up onto the remaining


“Help us…!” Tracy begged, seeing Gabrielle and the

crew, but none of them dared go inside for fear of

sending the rest of the rotting floorboards loose.

“You can’t leave us here like this!” she cried, as she

heard some snapping; she had been convinced that she

couldn’t really die up here – but what if Gabrielle

was right? What if Luanne was right? “PLEASE – ONE OF

YOU HELP!!!” she screamed, as Faith kept trying to get

her legs up to the boards, but couldn’t make it. She

just couldn’t, no matter how hard she tried. And now

she was going to fall onto that solid concrete


“Get a grip!” Tracy and Faith snapped their heads to

the source of the voice – it was Tal/Brittany, who had

been the only one brave enough to venture inside. She

was lying flat on the boards, her hands stretched out

towards the two ladies. Faith and Tracy let one hand

each go to grab their rescuer, and she took hold hard,

raising each one with as much strength as she could;

Tal tried to make her way back, aiming to pull them

up. A crew member made his way towards her legs to

pull them all in, but he never got there – the boards

began to give.

“USE YOUR OTHER HANDS!” Tal/Brittany squealed, knowing

that this was their only chance.

“What for?!” Faith shouted.


Faith knew. She always had survival in mind, and this

was the only way they would survive. She swung her

legs outward and wrapped them around Tracy/Luanne,

bringing her closer, and Faith shoved her free hand

into her protesting colleague’s jeans…

Apart from Gabrielle, nobody there would breathe a

word about what happened next, because they knew

nobody would believe they had seen one young woman

rapidly finger-fuck another woman and generate a

green-lighted opening underneath them just before the

last boards gave way, sending Brittany Murphy, Eliza

Dushku and Tracy Ryan (or to give their real names,

Tal, Faith and Luanne) plunging not to their deaths

but into the vortex taking them back to their own

dimension, and closing up with nothing but floorboards

to leave any indication that something had happened.

The official story would be that Tracy Ryan had

disappeared on location, presumed dead, but no body

would ever be found. Only Gabrielle and the few people

she would tell would ever know the truth.

Tracy Ryan’s glittering career was over before it had

even begun.

* * * * * * * * * *

“Great to be back home,” Clover sighed inside the

Castle. She had gotten onto the grounds easily enough

– super speed and all – and she was feeling on top of

the world as she got back through the door. From

there, she’d soon be back on her home turf. But first,

she’d be joining her friends in playing with Kim.

Ooooh yeah, that was gonna be fun…

“What kept you, Cloe?” asked Kim, facing the WOOHP

girl when she arrived. Clover’s eyes bugged out like a

badly-drawn Japanese-style girl’s; Sam and Alex had

been gagged and bound, and Kim was dandling some

lengths of rope in her hands. Clover’s colleagues were

looking at her, imploring her for help… she was on

the verge of giving it to them, but Kim threw her an

expression that said it would be better for her to

stay right there. “You shouldn’t have run off like

that,” La Possible continued. “Made it more in our


“Our…?” Clover repeated.

“Think she could have done this without some help?”

Penelope chuckled. “They really like their bondage,

and now it’s your turn.” Clover then noticed that her

friends were naked, and before she could run Miss

Pitstop was on her, tearing her clothes off and

accepting Kim’s ropes.

“What are you gonna do to me?!” she begged.

“Us? Nothing, darling,” Penelope laughed.

“Them, on the other hand…” Kim added, and whistled

for the others to enter. Clover’s gagged mouth

couldn’t totally hide her howls as she watched a whole

batch of toons race in; from obscure characters like

the Impossibles and the Funky Phantom to more familiar

ones like (OH HEAVENS NO!) Fat Albert and Speed Racer,

the flow just kept coming. Kim patted Clover on the

head and stepped aside.

“Lie back and enjoy it,” she suggested. “You’re about

to become their B-E-Y-O-T-C-H.” Thank goodness

spelling didn’t count, she added.

* * * * * * * * * * *

Clover had countless men on her; Michelle Trachtenberg

had only two. She had run like a mad woman all around

the house, and found herself slipping back inside,

theorizing that it would be the last place they would

look. Plus she could ferret out some clothes for her

to wear –

Michelle saw she wasn’t alone inside; Rose McGowan was

curled up, fast asleep. Flanking her from either side

were the two lads who’d come to the studio hoping to

see her. They were staring back at her as intensely as

she was staring at them; banging Rose had been nice,

but actually seeing their dream girl like this… as

for Michelle, it took a few moments before she

realised that there were two boys of around her age

seeing her naked. Even being next to someone who was

actually a grown woman didn’t lessen the impact in

their eyes.

“You’re…” the first boy said, unable to say anything

else due to what was in front of him.

“Look, I need you two to get out of here!”


“Uh… I need to get some clothes on!” Michelle

babbled, too late trying to cover up her boobs and

privates. “So should you!”


What was with these kids? “Because we’re all in


“Nothing’s happened to us,” the other boy argued.

“Not yet,” Michelle pointed out. “Look, just trust

me… what do you want me to do, give you a blowjob?”

“That sounds really weird coming from you,” the first

boy said.

“No no no,” the second boy interrupted, beaming at

Michelle. “This is getting interesting.”

“I thought you said you didn’t need her.”

“I lied,” he told his friend, beckoning to Michelle to

come closer. She hesitated just a little, then started

to walk towards them. Maybe they could keep her safe –

she could hide with them until it was okay to come


“Stop right there, Michelle,” Sydney said behind her,

as the lads felt their blessings mount further. “I

don’t want to have to hurt you…” Michelle’s face

fell as she turned to see her soon-to-be-captor.

“You can’t do this, Garner!”

“I’m not Garner… and believe me, I’m sorry.”

“You’re not…” the second boy started.

“Blow them, Trachtenberg.”


“No one can know I was here tonight,” Sydney

continued. “Boys, you want Michelle, right? I want

Michelle out of here, right? If she handles you two

you don’t tell anyone about what happened here

tonight, and Michelle if you come with me afterwards I

give you my word that she won’t get you.”

“But – ”

“Please… trust me.”

Something in Sydney’s voice made Michelle know she was

telling the truth. Casting her eyes on her horny fans,

she lowered herself to the ground and calmly took one

cock in each hand, starting as she felt them both

swell up. Weighing them in her palms, she looked at

them and beamed. “Who wants to go first?”

“Me!” shouted the second boy at once, and glared with

murderous envy at his friend as Michelle swallowed

said friend’s cock right up to the hairless balls.

Experience was always welcome, but there was something

about watching someone who looked (and was) so young

sucking away on a prick that fixated the viewers; not

that Michelle had had much cock-time in the past, but

she certainly looked like she wasn’t un-used to it.

The boy’s envy at not being blown off vanished when he

felt her fingers fondling his prick. She was light and

easy to feel, rubbing and stroking his sacs and shaft

while her face concentrated on what was in her mouth.

The guys reached down and started to touch her, the

one getting fellated caressing her silky hair, the one

getting jacked running his hands down her naked back.

Michelle’s sweet adolescent tits were soon on the

latter’s hands, playing with them as she wanked him.

The boy felt Michelle’s little nipples as he heard his

friend cry and gasp out their lover’s name, but he

mentally shut out his howls of orgasm; he was too busy

caressing Miss Trachtenberg’s front. She also had

beautiful legs, but it was what was between them that

excited him the most; her snatch was hair-free and

lovely. Finding it harder to ignore Michelle’s

handiwork, he extended his middle fingers and started

to thrust them into her, rewarded with a muffled gasp

from the girl; she jerked herself back, pushing her

taut little buttocks towards him. He ground his chest

against Michelle’s bum, all the while continuing to

rub her box, and wondering if he could time his move

just right…

Michelle pulled back from the other lad just as he

screamed out her name, his cock pumping out the white

stuff – but he never got to see it land on her face,

because the second boy whirled her around, his own

cock red-hot and hard, and pulled her into his arms.

Now it was Michelle’s turn to yell as she felt him

stuff his cock into her well-moistened pussy, drawing

part of the way out and ramming into her again. And

again. And AGAIN… she spread her coltish legs apart

and welcomed him all the way, relieved that there was

someone there who didn’t want to off her. Behind her,

the other boy began to slap her ass with his

well-drained prick, pleased with what had happened,

but as jealous as all hell of his friend…

Sydney, watching all of this, wished she could join

in, but a deal was a deal. As soon as the lad had made

his dream come true by filling up Michelle

Trachtenberg, she had an appointment to keep.

* * * * * * * * * *

Sara Hathaway had been watching Howard’s house ever

since she had followed him back home; Velma had

suggested she keep an eye on him “for insurance.” Sara

had figured that it wouldn’t be smart to just knock on

the door and go in – among her other gifts was a knack

for breaking and entering, and she had climbed up to

Howard’s second floor bedroom, moved along to the room

next to it, and entered the house there. Padding

quietly along the hallway to Howard’s room, she tested

the door… it was unlocked. He was the only one in

the house.

Sara carefully opened the door just a crack, so she

could see Howard writing away. Well, at least he was

doing his job… she took out a pair of binoculars so

she could see just what he was writing (she had to

reposition herself carefully but she could get the

screen in her line of vision). Focusing in and… Sara

just kept herself from screaming on seeing what he was

writing. He was penning something about Jennifer

Garner and Sydney Bristow, all right… but not what

she had in mind.

Quickly opening her laptop, she got online and found

alt.sex.stories.moderated, where their stories were

posted. There was one from albassexslave, newly

posted. Sara read it rapidly… and found out that

Velma was dead. Howard had written a tale about Evil

Piper and Velma trying to rape Michelle-as-Dawn, only

for Velma to be shot dead by Sydney. And in the second

instalment, Sydney would be consoling Michelle.

A few moments later, Howard’s fingers were interrupted

by a blade being pressed to his throat. “You need to

work on that final draft, Johnson,” Sara told him


* * * * * * * * * *

Evil Piper nodded as Sydney and Jennifer arrived with

Michelle in tow, still naked, but looking more


“What took you so long?”

“These girls can really run,” Sydney explained. “Now

about our friends – ”

“They’ll be unfrozen when I’m finished, and not

before,” Evil Piper interrupted. “Now let’s get this

over with… why are you two still here?”

“We want to watch,” Jennifer replied.

“Oh, you want to see how a professional does it? It’s

your funeral… on the grass, mini-whore. It won’t

take long.”

“So I’ve heard,” Sydney whispered to Jennifer, who


“You’re lucky I don’t have time,” Evil Piper retorted,

as Michelle lay on the grass and spread her legs for

the second time that evening, propping herself up as

if she was doing a photospread. The evil witch sported

her familiar weapon, and knelt with the cold, hard,

ribbed metal prodding against Michelle’s cunt.

“Roll back a bit. Your body’s supple enough, you can

do it… I want it up your butt while I’m still

looking in your face.”

Michelle’s ass was strictly one-way, but seeing the

expression in her eyes the girl had no choice. She

lifted herself and rolled back like a gymnast, leaving

her anus and snatch open at once as all the best nude

magazine models do. Evil Piper chuckled and slammed

her strap-on deep inside the hapless teenager’s

asshole, enjoying the look on the girl’s face as she

cored her. “Yes… YES… YES!!!!” she yelled as she

thrust away harder inside, fucking her fast and hard,

listening to Michelle’s squeals and cries. Their

bodies rocked together as they tore out the grass,

their cries carrying all over the grounds. Even Rose,

only just awakening, heard it.

“AHHHHHH!!!” Michelle screamed, feeling Evil Piper’s

weapon – she didn’t feel you could just call it a

“strap-on” – pounding away and feeling the witch’s

hands rubbing her all over to try and turn her on

further… trying? No, succeeding… she knew she had

no choice but to let Piper fuck her, and it was


FUCK ME!!!!!”

“Don’t worry,” Evil Piper panted through gritted teeth

as she watched the young woman thrashing underneath

her in delight. “When we’re finished I’ll be able to

fuck you all you want, any time I want…”

She could feel herself starting to drip… it was

about to happen. Both women felt the climax coming as

they ground against each other… their screams and

cries were making for one big fuck-symphony… it was

so intense it was as if it was all one big flash of

light… and it WAS one big flash of light. For a

moment, Evil Piper thought that she had been so

carried away in the heat of the moment that she had

been hallucinating, but no – she was sure there had

been a flash. So what was…?

Never mind… Evil Piper gazed at Michelle with an

almost tender look, and then up at the witnesses. “So

you wanna know where Middleton’s gone?” she asked.

“Velma wrote it out – it was those WOOHP girls’ idea.

They persuaded her to have them all relocated to the

Ends of the Earth – you know, from “Aladdin,” – and

leave KP for last; the show’s still in production so

she couldn’t have them vanish for good, but this just

sort of makes it tougher for the writers. Makes it

harder to have new episodes.”

“So all we’ve got to do is get them back from there,”

Sydney replied.

“You bet… of course, it’ll be a lot easier now that

the Crossover’s a done deal.”

Sydney and Jennifer both smiled all of a sudden,

confusing Evil Piper. “Why the grins? Look, I would

have known if I hadn’t been fucking Michelle…”

“You were. Until just before you came,” Melissa

Gabriel added from the floor. “The Crossover can’t

happen until it’s fully done with three couples,

remember? Just before you came she and I changed

over… great being a witch, isn’t it?”

“Amen,” Michelle Trachtenberg answered, resting

against a frozen SMG and sore.

“Well, it still only takes one more person to do it,”

Evil Piper snarled as she got up. “But it’s not going

to be you, ‘Shelle.”

She waved and froze Sydney and Jennifer, leaving

Michelle untouched. “Too bad you’ve been so busy in

the sack tonight, huh? You’d be able to do some more

FloJo impressions if you could now. Well, any moment

now you’ll be going a lot faster in a million

different directions. Got any last requests?” Without

waiting for a reply, she raised her fingers and

prepared to flash them at Michelle to blow the girl

into oblivion. Michelle tried to move back, but Evil

Piper moved her fingers slightly, freezing her legs

but leaving the top half untouched.

“A little extra touch there,” she cackled. “I like it

when they beg for mercy…”

“Beg for THIS, bitch!” Melissa shouted from behind

them, and blew Evil Piper off her feet. The witch

roared with fury as she faced her adversary.

“GO TO HELL!!!” Evil Piper howled.

“After you,” Melissa replied, and let off a blast just

as Evil Piper did. Michelle wailed as both witches

destroyed each other right before her eyes… Evil

Piper had only been sent back to her own world after

being eliminated from this one, but Melissa Gabriel –

who, like Ashley, hadn’t been given life on film yet –

really was dead. The ones she had frozen were now

unfrozen, but Michelle had just seen herself die…

she couldn’t go anywhere because of the shock. She

fell to her knees, willing herself to unsee what she

had just seen.

Shego, watching from inside, knew she couldn’t do a

thing about what she had just seen. But she could

still bring about the Crossover. And she knew just who

she had to do to bring it about; she studied the

sleeping Rose McGowan (“What a lazy little cunt,” she

thought). Shame it had to be full sex instead of a

handjob, and shame it wasn’t that Charlize Theron

(Shego/Ellen agreed with Harmony about her being the

only person she’d really like a threesome with), but

any port in a storm. She lay down beside the fourth

sister and started to fondle her.

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