Victoria’s Island: A CSSA Chain Story

This story is not to be read by anyone under the age of 18. This story may not be reproduced or retransmitted, and the accounts and descriptions of this story may not be disseminated without the express written consent of Major League Baseball.

This is a combined effort of ten CSSA authors, all with varying styles, experience and knowledge of proper grammar. All told, these ten authors (whose names are listed below) produced 104 segments of this story, which have since been combined into one. This is the first time that more than two authors have collaborated on a CSSA story, and hopefully it will not be
the last. Now, here are the ten authors who contributed, listed in order by the time of their first submission.


Victor Field


Voodoo Joe

Mr. Fantastic

Butch Rosser


Cosmo Kramer


Professor Moriarty

This story also features a total of 63 celebrities, whose names are listed below, again in chronological order.

Laura Prepon

Rose McGowan

Lindsay Lohan

Cindy Crawford

Hilary Duff

Kate Beckinsale

Ashley Judd

Liz Phair

Meg White

Susan Duff

Elisha Cuthbert

Mila Kunis

Maria Menounos

Victoria (CSSA Web Goddess)

BDSMChick (CSSA Author)

Jules Asner

Michelle Branch

Jubilee (CSSA Author)

Rachel Stevens

Jessica Alba

Rachael Leigh Cook

Melissa Joan Hart

Shannon Elizabeth

Jodi Ann Paterson

Carmella DeCasare

Amber Tamblyn

Mandy Moore

Kate Garraway

Keira Knightley

Scarlett Johansson

Jennifer Garner

Kim Smith

Eliza Dushku

Beyonce Knowles

Angelina Jolie

Mischa Barton

Rachel Bilson

Natalie Portman

Sophia Bush

Avril Lavinge

Michelle Rodriguez

Tara Reid

Monita Rajpal

Lauren Graham

Sarah Chalke

Melissa George

Halle Berry

Louise Redknapp

Brooke Burke

Cindy Taylor

Kelly Hu

Katie Derham

Natasha Kaplinsky

Sofia Coppola

Sara Violet (CSSA Author)

Denise Richards

Christina Aguilera

Thora Birch

Shannen Doherty

Jeri Ryan

Kristen Kreuk

Alyssa Milano

Kirsten Dunst

And because we all know that you can’t possibly get enough long lists before your long porn, here’s another one! This time, we’re covering the codes used to identify the sex acts contained within this story. They are, in no particular order: MF, FF, Ff, FFf, MMF, FFF, F+M, M+F+f, Cons, NC > Con, Rape, Oral, Anal, Bond.

There. I think you’ve sat through just enough waiting. Feedback, as always, is much appreciated. It can be posted at the CSSA/TSSA message boards, where all of the contributing authors will be able to read it.

And now, without further ado…

Victoria’s Island: A CSSA Chain Story

“Sunscreen?” The redhead asked, shading her beautiful eyes from the oppressive sun.

“Check.” Her companion, having opted for a jet-black ‘do, replied.

“SPF 50?”

“Check. Isn’t that excessive?” The first speaker, previously gazing absently on the beach, turned her head to respond, a shocked expression on her face.

“Rose, red HAIR is sexy. Red SKIN is not!”

“Sheesh, calm down! You could use a tan anyway. Did wonders for Lindsay, didn’t it?” The smiling Rose gestured towards a tan beauty lounging on the beach, her impressive young breasts straining against a tight bikini top.

“That’s not funny.” She kissed her companion on the lips, hugging her tightly before heading towards the beach. “Come on, you’re gonna be late!” She laughed, speeding her pace up to a jog.

“Laura, wait up!” Rose hurried after her, staying just far enough behind to stare at her partner’s sexy behind, barely covered by her thong.


Rose, Lindsay and Laura were getting plenty of appreciative and hungry glances thrown their way as they soaked up the sun. But not everyone checking out their hot (in both senses of the word) bodies was on the beach. And not all of them were men.

From the window of her bedroom, Cindy Crawford adjusted her binoculars and thanked Fate – not for the first time – that she had just a fantastic view. The veteran supermodel focused on Rose’s full-bodied form as she ran along the sand, whipped over to enjoy the sight of Lindsay, and whistled in appreciation.

“Same here,” a naked Hilary Duff sighed from the rumpled bed, her eyes scanning Cindy’s also nude body. The cute blonde felt herself moistening again as she remembered how they’d started the morning; as she padded out of bed and folded her arms around the tall brunette, Hilary hoped that the next time Cindy’s husband was out of town she’d call on her again.

Cindy had fond memories of how Hilary felt in her arms, and she wanted another go. But as Hilary kissed Cindy’s back, she saw Lindsay turn over. Mentally cheering, she focused on Lindsay’s round, juicy globes.


As Cindy and Hilary looked down on the beach, a new conversation was starting up back on the mainland.

“So it’s sort of a celebrity spring break?” Kate Beckinsale asked as she stepped out of her hotel room. She was clad only in the smallest of bikinis and sunglasses, much to the approval of her companion of the moment.

“It’s the CSSA Spring Break event,” Ashley Judd replied. Ashley was dressed much the same as Kate, though her swimsuit also had a tank top that didn’t quite reach her belly button. “A ton of celebs are heading out to Victoria’s Island in the Caribbean for some hot weather, hot fun, and, of course, hot sex.”

“So it’s just a bunch of women having sex?” Kate asked

“Well,” Ashley said as she grabbed Kate’s ass and gave it a squeeze, “A lot of the authors will be there, too, and there’ll be some fun activities to do, but, yeah, mostly it’ll just be a week of hot sex.”

“Sounds like fun,” Kate said, giving Ashley’s nipple a tweak before heading down the hallway. “Let’s not miss the boat.”


“Yesss!” Lindsay hissed, as loud as she dared. She ran her fingers through Laura’s fiery hair and pressed her older companion’s head against her breasts. Laura eagerly licked and sucked on the teen’s heaving mounds, her fingers rubbing Lindsay’s bikini-clad pussy. Lindsay looked up and saw that Rose was not admiring their performance; rather her attention was drawn to a figure further down the beach. Without saying a word, she rose (no pun intended) from the sand and walked towards him.

Lindsay moaned and then gasped as Laura’s fingers reached inside of her bikini bottom and rubbed her pussy lips. While her thumb gently rubbed the clit, Laura inserted her index and middle fingers into Lindsay’s dripping snatch, all the while keeping her mouth glued to the teen’s freckled tits. “Oh, God, yes! Oh, Laura if you keep that up I’m gonna cum right here!” Laura pulled her head off of Lindsay’s breasts, looking the younger redhead square in the eye. “You wanna cum?” she asked, increasing the pace of her thrusts. “You wanna cum in front of all these people like a little slut?” Lindsay nervously looked at the beachgoers, including a small group that was watching their actions very intently, and bit her lip nervously. Finally, she succumbed to the pleasure Laura was giving her, and moaned a soft “Yes” while nodding her head. Laura grinned triumphantly and shoved a third finger into Lindsay’s cunt, moving her head down to lick and kiss the teen starlet’s neck. Lindsay tried to hold out as long as she could, thinking of anything to prolong the pleasure, but in the end it was a lost cause. As Laura playfully bit her neck, Lindsay shrieked, half of the beach turning their heads to witness Lindsay’s orgasm. Her arms, which had been holding her up, gave out and she collapsed to the sand, screaming and moaning in delight as her cum flooded Laura’s fingers. Laura stroked Lindsay’s thigh softly and licked the sweet cum from her fingers. “See?” she smiled. “That wasn’t so hard, was it?”


For one man at least, the best part of the beach was not the performance put on by the two celebrities on the sand, but rather the one celebrity who had just taken a seat on his towel. “Oh. My. God,” he stammered. “You’re–” “I know,” she cut him off. “Rose McGowan, high goddess of the almighty temple of the Harem, obligated by sacred texts to appear on this great day. And you are?” The man–wearing a faded New York Mets cap–gulped, then recited the line he had written for himself.

“I am KMB, the master of the Harem…all of my loyal subjects will bow before me. You…you remembered the words?”

“Of course. After what you’ve done for my standing here,” she gestured to the masses of CSSA patrons and celebrities on the beach, “remembering your corny lines is the least I could do.”


In their hotel room, Cindy flicked her tongue deep inside Hilary’s tender cunt, feeling the young actress’ hot body squirming with passion under her. She felt the blonde’s pert little boobs and soft, sweet-smelling skin as she burrowed further up, pinching Hilary’s nipples gently and wishing that the former Lizzie McGuire didn’t live with her parents – but then having Hilary at her beck and call would make her kids ask questions.

“Mmmmm… oh God… oh fucckkkk…. MMMMMMAAHHHHHH!!!” Hilary shrieked, rubbing the brunette’s hair as Cindy buried her face as far as she could inside her lover’s box; Aaron Carter hated eating pussy, which was one reason both she and Lindsay weren’t with him. With bubbly blonde dampness on her mouth, Cindy slid back up Hilary’s beautiful little body and took her in her arms, resting her hands on the blonde’s ass, and envious of whomever would get to pop her anally.

“Guess I managed to get you to stop looking at her,” Hilary smiled, stroking Cindy’s tits.

“I wasn’t looking at Lindsay.”

“Who said it was the Freckle?”

“Better than Frankie Muniz.”

“Monkey-boy?! You actually bought that crap about us? But if mom ever found out about Tom Welling… or you…”

Cindy nodded. “Or about CSSA Spring Break,” she added.

“Oh yeah!” Hilary squealed. “Fun, sun and sex – plus we get to meet the guys writing about us.”

“Guys and ladies,” Cindy reminded her. “Jubilee’s flying in from England – BDSMChick, Sara Violet…”

“Sara won’t be able to keep her hands off your ass.”

“Or yours,” Cindy smiled, actually thinking about Lindsay’s.

As was Hilary.


“CSSA Spring Break?” Susan Duff said to herself, flinging her phone down. “Not if I have anything to do with it.”


“Meh,” Mr. Fantastic said as he saw Rose sitting next to KMB. “Good for him. Gotta get back to my work right here though.” He was strumming on his acoustic guitar, trying to perfect a song he was only now just learning, Too Fast For Love. He was getting very angry with his hands. They could get any other song, but for some reason, not this one song and its damn intro. If he learned this song, he’d have something kick ass to perform for Elisha, or any of his Fantastic Four.

He was so deep in concentration, he didn’t notice the two shadows next to him.

“Hey there,” a female voice said. “Mind if my friend and I sit down?”

“Meh, go ahead, no bother,” Mr. F replied, still more focused on his fret board than anything else.

“Thank you,” two female voices said. He could hear them set down towels and a cooler, and finally sit down.

“I see you’re drinking Labatt Blue,” the first voice said. “Nice choice.”

“Thank you,” Mr. F replied. “Listen, I don’t mean to be rude, but I’m kind of busy with my guitar. Trying to learn somethi…..” was the end of his sentence, as he turned his head. The two women were Elisha Cuthbert and Mila Kunis. “aaa…buuh…..waza…..booha….huh?”

“Mr. Fantastic, I presume?” Elisha asked with a smile.


“I’m Maria Menounos, and this is ET on VH1. I’m coming to you live from the biggest event of the year, the first ever CSSA Spring Break. Put on by Hollywood’s experts on sex, Victoria and her team of authors have been hard at work setting up this week-long vacation to the stars. Events include concerts, scavenger hunts, swimming, biking, hiking in the “Forbidden Amazon Jungle,” and all night parties.

“Some of the celebs already spotted on the island include Rose McGowan, Cindy Crawford, Elisha Cuthbert, Liz Phair, Kate Beckinsale, Ashley Judd, Meg White and Mila Kunis. While no one has confirmed a complete list yet, rumors place Roselyn Sanchez, Christina Aguilera, and even pop sisters Jessica and Ashlee Simpson headed this way. Some reports even have rivals Hilary Duff and Lindsay Lohan here, despite Hilary’s under-age status.

“Rest assured, ET on VH1 will keep you posted all week long as this tiny Caribbean island heats up.”


“Okay, you’ve all got your lists,” Victoria said, addressing the crowd of teams from atop a stage as everyone awaited the start of the scavenger hunt. She was wearing her customary nothing, the piercing in her belly button glinting in the sunlight as she looked over the crowd. “First thing you have to find is a page from Harem that KMB was kind enough to print out. Good luck, and remember that the winners get to join the reenactment of the poolside orgy in Harem 5.”

“I wrote the fucking thing, I have to win and get to live it,” KMB muttered to himself as he and Rose headed off in hopes of winning the hunt.

“How ’bout we blow this thing off and have some fun of our own?” Elisha suggested to Mr. F, pulling on his arm and dragging him under the stage.

“That sounds like fun. Should we join them?” Laura asked Jen, batting her eyelashes and shaking her red hair. When the self-proclaimed BDSMChick merely nodded, Laura quickly led her under the stage after Elisha and Mr. F.

“My husband, your boss, told you to take me out and do whatever I wanted,” Jules Asner said to Cosmo, doing her best Mia Wallace impersonation from Pulp Fiction. “I want to hunt, and I want to win.”


“Go get him,” Liz Phair told Meg White as Meg went over to talk to the hunky guy who couldn’t stop staring at her.

“Excuse me,” a female voice said from behind Liz. “Can we talk?”

“I think you said all you needed to,” Liz said, turning around to stare at Michelle Branch. “Your Maxim spread was nice, but the interview didn’t inspire me much.”

“I didn’t mean it that way,” Michelle said, reaching out to stop Liz from walking away from her.

“Take your fucking hand off me before I break it,” Liz said, snarling at Michelle.

“I just want to talk,” Michelle said, letting go of Liz’s arm.

“You want to talk? I’ll give you five minutes,” Liz said. “But not here. My hotel isn’t that far. We can go there and then you can leave when your time’s up.”

“Thank you,” Michelle said, failing to see the evil smile on Liz’s face as they walked to the hotel.



“I thought I told you to stop singing that,” Victor said to Rich as their plane made the final approach.

“The only other song I can think of is that one by Tori Amos,” Rich Wilson pointed out. “Doesn’t really fit.”

“Yeah, you’re right. How do you think Jubilee’s feeling?”

“How do you think?” Neither man could keep the jealousy out of their voice; Jubilee had joined them on their flight to CSSA Spring Break, but was she with the hoi polloi in economy? Was she hell.

She was luxuriating in first class, toasting her companion as the plane started to land. It was thanks to said companion – one Rachel Lauren Stevens – that Jubilee had gotten the upgrade. Jubilee liked Rich and Victor, but she was looking forward to outdoing them on the island as well.

“Well, you finally got to spend hours and hours in a closed space with me,” Rachel laughed.

“Looking forward to spending more and more,” Jubilee agreed. “I can’t believe they agreed to let it happen here.”


Maria Menounos couldn’t believe this was happening here on this Caribbean island. The this being her first ever dual blowjob; while the hunt for the Harem pages was happening, she should have been covering it. Instead she had been persuaded to sample some of the local “hospitality” – this was usually a Brooke Burke thing, and Brookie would be arriving tomorrow. But Maria had scored one over the Stuff fave; one was black, one was white, and both were filling her mouth in a secluded part of the beach.

The married guy and the single man both mentally high-fived themselves on hitting the jackpot with this hot Yankee reporter, playing with each thick stalk while sucking fiercely, their hot plums poking down her throat as Maria felt the Caribbean sun tanning her topless body. Listening to them groaning and begging her to drain them, Maria’s mouth soon received and blended two tasty loads of creamy white goodness.


“Alba,” the young man muttered.

Not because he was angry, but because saying as out loud as he hoped it wouldn’t seem real to him. All these famous people, all willing to fuck at the drop of a hat? There had to be a catch.

Until said catch revealed itself, he went back mentally over his four-pronged plan.

1) Find Jessica Alba.

2) If possible, fuck same.

3) Find other attractive female celebrity.

4) If possible, fuck same.

He straightened out his throwback Jordan jersey and looked back over at Menounos blowing two guys at once. He thought of just sneaking up on her and going for it–but he had an order and he was sticking to it.

Then came the poke on his shoulder.

His eyes adjusted. He saw Her.

“Hi,” the brunette in the black bikini smiled. “I’m…”

“Jessica Fucking Alba!” he said, entirely too loudly. He got a good look. And kept looking.

She smiled politely as he continued to dance visually on her. “You’re having that moment when the sun’s lighting me so I look like a goddess and Crimson & Clover is playing in your head?”

He nodded.

“So YOU’RE the butchman.” she laughed.

He nodded.

“You’re late.” And thus said, she smacked him a good one on the ass. He smiled.

Then fell into the sand.


What had previously been a bright, sunny day for Lindsay—in many ways—darkened slightly as a shadow blocked the sun. It darkened even more when the owner of the shadow was revealed.

“Um…hi Lindsay.” Hilary Duff said, waving slightly. “Hilary.” Lindsay curtly replied, not looking up at her blonde rival. Hilary sat next to Lindsay on the beach. “Look Lindsay, about this feud between us…I’m sorry.” Lindsay said nothing, apparently ignoring the teen starlet. “Lindsay, please…I’m sorry I said all those nasty things about you, that was all my mom. She thinks that if I can get some controversy, I’ll get more media attention and better movie roles. Please Lindsay, you have to believe me…I don’t hate you.” Lindsay sat up, appearing to be deep in thought. Suddenly, she leaned forward and kissed Hilary on the lips, sliding her tongue into the younger girl’s gasping mouth. Hilary tried to fight off the kiss, but Lindsay wrapped her hands tightly around her head. Hilary was not fighting because she didn’t want Lindsay; she was fighting because she saw the large, menacing woman approaching them at near-light speed. Soon, everyone on the beach not only saw, but heard her booming voice.



“Eat my pussy slut,” Laura commanded Jen as she leaned back against a post. She had her bikini bottoms pulled the side and one leg thrown over Jen’s shoulder as the other woman was on her knees, tongue buried in her pussy.

“Just fuck me,” Elisha told Mr. F, on her hands and knees with him behind her. As Mr. F buried his cock into her pussy she reached out and ran her hand along Jen’s ass. Pushing her ass back against Elisha’s hand, Jen redoubled her efforts on Laura’s pussy. Slipping two fingers into Laura’s dripping hole she sucked her clit into her mouth and flicked it with her tongue.

“Such a good pussy eater,” Laura moaned, grabbing Jen’s hair and pushing her head harder against her cunt. Reaching back, Elisha grabbed Mr. F and stopped him so she could scoot forward. Now closer to Jen and Laura she let Mr. F go and turned her attention to Jen. She was so close to her that she could stick her tongue out and lick her if she wanted. She did indeed want to and as Mr. F slammed his cock into her snatch her tongue slithered between Jen’s ass cheeks and into her pussy.

“Mmmph,” Jen moaned around Laura’s clit when she felt the tongue in her pussy.

“Stick a finger in my ass,” Laura screamed, feeling her climax imminent.

Slipping the fingers out of Laura’s pussy, Jen moved them back and pressed them against her anus. Laura screamed even louder when the finger penetrated her ass. Wiggling the finger in Laura’s back door Jen coaxed the orgasm from her.

“Fuck,” Laura hissed as she flooded Jen’s tongue with her cream.

With Laura done with, Jen layed back and slid underneath Elisha. Once in the sixty-nine position she attacked Elisha’s clit with fervor. Every few licks she moved back to lick Mr. F’s shaft as it slid in and out of Elisha’s snatch.

“Oh God,” Elisha moaned, wiggling as her orgasm approached. It was hard to concentrate on Jen as she got closer but she managed to find a way.

“Cum for me,” Jen said, willing Elisha to flood Mr. F’s cock with her cum.

“So close,” Elisha hissed, feeling Mr. F’s cock start to throb in her pussy. As Mr. F exploded in her pussy Elisha threw her head back and erupted in her own orgasm.

“Clean up, aisle 6,” Jen said, grinning after Mr. F pulled out of Elisha. Spreading Elisha’s pussy open, she set about cleaning her up.


“Well, fucking talk,” Liz said, sitting in a chair near her hotel room’s window. “Five minutes, and…go, bitch, go!”

“Listen,” Michele said in a soft tone. “I’m really sorry about what I said, in the way that if it offended you. But I did mean it. I’m not going to take away from you at all as an artist, but your past efforts show you have more in you than the copy someone else.”

“THAT’S an apology?”

“Of sorts. Listen, maybe coming here was a bad idea. I’m sorry if I pissed you off.” Michelle was about to walk out the door of Liz’s room when she felt Liz grab her by the hand and turn her around.

“You still have a few minutes to plead your case Ms. Branch,” Liz said with a sly grin, kissing Michelle fiercely, slipping her tongue down the younger woman’s mouth. Michelle reluctantly returned the kiss, moving her hands around to squeeze Liz’s ass, getting a yelp from the instigator.

“I take it using my words to apologize is now out of the question,” Michelle asked, licking Liz’s lips.

“Clever girl,” Liz replied, smirking as she slid her hand down the front of Michelle’s jeans, massaging her moistening pussy over her lace panties.

“Fuuuuuuuuuccccccckkkkkkkk,” Michelle grunted through gritted teeth as she felt herself being lowered onto Liz’s bed. “Don’t stop……..”

“You think you get a free ride Ms. Branch?” Liz asked, removing her own bikini top, exposing her breasts to Michelle. “Not so easy I’m afraid. If anyone’s cumming, it’s me. Though you MIGHT get to….if you’re good.” Liz bent down to kiss Michelle. “Now get to work and make me fucking cum.”

Michelle didn’t take another second. As Liz laid on her back, Michelle licked and sucked on her breasts, making a slow, but joyfully so, journey downwards, kissing and licking Liz’s stomach before she got to the bikini bottoms, which she slowly removed. She lifted Liz’s legs up into the air, raising them at attention as she completely removed the bottoms.

Before Liz could rest her legs, Michelle made her hold them up, licking her way down as she lowered them herself, paying painstaking detail to Liz’s inner thighs, planting quick kisses and playful nibbles there, working her way to the main goal.

Michelle looked at Liz’s pussy for a few seconds, glistening and ready, before she lightly traced her fingertips up and down the lips, getting a soft moan to escape from Liz’s mouth. Following the fingertips came Michelle’s tongue, doing another light trace of its own, ending with a light kiss.

“Fuck this teasing shit Michelle, FUCKING EAT ME!” Liz yelled. Michelle needed no further prodding, first sticking her tongue in for a big, slow lick, then deciding to focus her tongue’s attention on Liz’s clit, as her hands handled the rest.

While Michelle’s tongue, dashed across Liz’s aroused nub, her fingers were inserted into the older woman’s wet slit, Michelle moving them in a “Come hither” motion.

While Michelle went to work on Liz, Liz’ mouth let forth a stream of obscenities that one would normally only her in a Kevin Smith movie. “YESSS…that’s fuckin’ right…eat that fucking cunt…fuck yes…you fuckin’ whore…fuck yes…”

The encouragement from Liz not only pushed Michelle further, causing her to throw nibbling in with the quick darts and slow paintbrush strokes of her tongue, but it made her wet as well. She was going to move her own hand down to frig her own clit when Liz yelled, “NO! Concentrate on me…you fucking owe me. Make me cum good, and maybe …MAYBE…you can cum later!!! FUCK YES!!!!”

Disappointed, but still hot, Michelle continued, choosing to instead use her free hand in another way on Liz, moving it under her ass and slowly sliding her index finger in, getting a pleasureful growl to escape from Liz’s mouth.

The attention was beginning to get to Liz. As much as she hated to admit it, Michelle was more than earning forgiveness, she earning her own orgasm. “Not THAT bad of a loss”, she thought to herself. That’s when she began to feel it, her orgasm begin to hit her. Liz’s back arched, her hands pinching her own nipples and it roared through her like a fireball. “FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCKKK!!!!” she yelled, as her juices flooded over Michelle’s face and fingers.

Michelle rose from her position between Liz’s legs. “Is all forgiven?” she asked, licking her fingers and wiping her mouth.

“Fuck yes,” Liz replied with a gasp. “And you just may get yours…but later. Let’s see what other fun we can have on this island.”


The boat from the mainland had just docked, and Ashley and Kate were coming down the boarding ramp when they first spotted him. That it was a him at all was surprising, because aside from the occasional local help, most of the island was populated by women. The fact that he was wearing a very loud Hawaiian shirt with an extremely large straw hat with a microphone coming down out of it to cover his mouth didn’t help. With a stripe of white suntan lotion on his nose and three different cell phones on his belt, he certainly stood out.

“Rachael, coordinate with Victoria on the scavenger hunt. Make sure every thing is hidden where it’s supposed to be,” the man said as he came into earshot. “Melissa, inform the Sex on the Beach Bar that their next alcohol run will arrive in twenty minutes. Shannon, get out of that damnable one piece and into something considerably skimpier – you aren’t on lifeguard duty, you’re organizing the Beach Volleyball Tournament.” With that, he looked up at the two women.

“Ah, Ashley Judd and Kate Beckinsale! Welcome, welcome, welcome. Come on down, the sand is fine. Don’t mind me, but the sun does murder to my skin; those of us from Vermont – or Naboo, for that matter – suffer a horrible paleness about us no matter what.”

“I’m sorry,” Ashley said. “Who are you?”

“Me?” The man said. “Oh, yes, of course! I’m so far behind these days. My name is… well, my name is my name, but you can call me TRL. Victoria has asked me to help run this little event, and because I’m far dumber than I think I am, I agreed to help out. I’m the head of the Official Welcoming Committee and Director of Problem Solving. If there’s anything you need, anything at all, just contact me or any of my people, and I’ll get right on it.”

“Your people?” Kate asked.

“Ah, yes,” TRL said, pulling out his sunglasses and putting them on. “Terribly bright out today,” he muttered. “My staff is currently up to five, not including myself. My celebrity aides are Rachael Leigh Cook, Melissa Joan Hart, and Shannon Elizabeth. They’re helping to organize events and whatnot throughout the island. I also have two gophers, though perhaps I should call them bunny-fers.”

“Excuse me?” Ashley said.

“No one ever gets that joke,” TRL muttered.

“What joke?” Kate asked.

“Never mind,” TRL said. “My two personal aides are both Playboy Playmates – Playboy Playmates of the Year, to be precise – and, when you’re dealing with women that attractive, you really should be precise, yes?”

Kate and Ashley traded confused looks.

Sighing, TRL held out a small business card. “If you can’t reach me, contact either Jodi Ann Paterson or Carmella DeCasare. Both of their numbers are listed below mine. They’ll help you any way they can – and I do mean that, by the way – or at least get you in touch with me. I’m also willing to help you any way I can, but I’m a bit behind schedule at the moment, and we’re over-due in arranging the barbeque on the west beach. So, if you’ll excuse me, I’ll be off.”

“Thanks,” Kate said, watching as TRL ambled off through the sand, already talking on his hat-phone again. “What a strange little man,” she wondered aloud.

“You can say that again,” Ashley echoed. “Cute, but very strange.”

“Well, where too next?” Kate asked.

“The hotel sounds appropriate,” Ashley suggested. “And then we’ll just have to see what’s going on.”


“I found the Harem page,” Amber shouted, excitedly jumping up and down as she held the piece of paper above her head.

“That you did,” FD said, paying more attention to the way her breasts jiggled in her tank top than on the piece of paper in her hand. “Now we need a dildo with the words ‘Mr. Snappy’ written on the end. The clue is ‘Roses are red, violets are blue. To find me, you need special shoes.’ ”

“I think I know where to look,” Amber said, taking off. Grinning, FD took a second to admire the way her legs stuck out of her khaki shorts before following her.


” ‘Special shoes?’ What the fuck is that supposed to mean?” Mandy Moore asked Voodoo Joe as they searched for Mr. Snappy.

“Maybe you have to dive under the water and the special shoes are those fins divers wear,” Joe said, shrugging his shoulders.

“If you’re right, then you get an extra special treat,” Mandy said, pressing her chest against his arm.

“God I hope I’m right,” Joe said, loving the way his upper arm was positioned right between her breasts. They seemed to wrap around it and envelop it in their perfectness.


“Hey, I thought you two were doing the scavenger hunt?” Mila asked Elisha and Mr. F when she saw the two of them come back to the beach.

“We were, but I decided I wanted to find something else,” Elisha answered, grinning.

“You’ll have to tell me all about it, but I was just about to go meet Natalie for drinks,” Mila explained, picking up her bag and heading off.

“Tell her I said hi,” Elisha called after Mila. “I guess it’s just you and me. I wonder if Keira’s plane has landed yet.”


Dozens of good-looking celebrities + tropical island = magnet for paparazzi, the ET/E!/Access Hollywood crowd and so on. After splitting from Hilary for the morning, Cindy had a few hours to kill until her first appearance at the Spring Break; she’d be playing in the Beach Volleyball Tournament.

But first she had this puff piece to take care of; sitting there with a daiquiri in the company of one of those GMTV blondes. “…and for the first of our daily reports, I’m joined by none other than Cindy Crawford,” Kate Garraway said to the camera. “Thanks for taking the time to talk to us, Cindy.”

“Thank you, Kate. Good to be here.”

“Now this is absolutely amazing,” the large-breasted blonde continued. “Just coming down here to talk to you I saw Kate Beckinsale, Ashley Judd, Liz Phair, Elisha Cuthbert…”

Kate continued counting them off, but Cindy was distracted; she had seen Hilary and Lindsay on the beach, but the sight of the two of them hadn’t been what caused her to start. “HOLY SHIT!” the supermodel shouted and leaped up and ran down to the sand as fast as she could. A bemused Kate followed her with her eyes, and on seeing what was what got up after her, the cameraman following.

Bearing down on the two girls like a hurricane, Susan angrily grabbed her daughter and wrenched her from the protesting redhead. “This ends NOW, Hilary!” she snarled, ignoring Hilary’s slapping arms and howls of “Let me go, dammit!”

“What are you doing here?!?” Hilary shouted.

“What are YOU doing here?!”

“I asked you first!” Hilary got a stinging slap for that comeback, her mother fuming and ignoring the gathering crowd.

“I thought you were going away with your friends down to Palm Springs, not… not here!”

“But Lindsay IS my friend! And so’s Cindy…”

“It looked to me like you’re a lot more than friends,” Susan snapped.

“Leave her alone, Mrs. Duff!” Cindy yelled, pulling her arms off the blonde. “No one forced her to come; she was invited, she went for it.”

Susan turned her I-always-get-my-way glare on the supermodel. “She said you’re a friend too. The same way Hilary and that redheaded slut are?”

Hilary and Lindsay both looked with dread at Cindy, and Cindy looked at them, thinking over what she was going to say. “Well?!?” boomed Susan.

It would have been so easy for Cindy to say “No” and leave herself out of it. So easy. But the look of relief on the faces of the two teen stars made it all worth it when Cindy Crawford stood by her girls and said “Yes.”


“Special shoes?” Rose stared at the list, hoping that a clue would reveal itself. “Roses are red, violets are blue. To find me, you’ll need special shoes. What the fuck does that mean?” She looked up at KMB, who had to quickly avert his eyes to not be caught staring at her bikini top. “I…I don’t know.” “Hmmm…” Rose thought. Then, an evil grin came across her beautiful face. “Why don’t we go to my hotel room and get the real thing?” With that she was off, leaving KMB in the dust with his mouth hanging open.


“Shannon, are you there? Shannon?” TRL’s questions went unanswered, Shannon’s walkie-talkie long since discarded as she found herself wrapped up in more pleasurable matters. She was moaning, her hands running through Melissa Joan Hart’s hair as the blonde slowly licked and sucked on her pussy. Melissa’s tongue focused on Shannon’s clit, running over it in up-and-down motions, then switching a horizontal pattern. Her index and middle fingers were buried in Shannon’s dripping cunt, thrusting in and then curling up as she pulled out. Melissa’s other hand was rubbing and slapping her partner’s ass, slowly moving down the crack and sticking a finger in her asshole. Shannon took her hands off of Melissa’s head and started to rub her impressive tits, her new, skimpier bikini top cast aside. Melissa slowly lapped at Shannon’s clit, like a kitten licking up a bowl of cream, and then took it in her mouth and sucked hard. This sent Shannon over the edge, and her passionate moans turned into screams of “Shit, yes, I’m CUMMING!!!”

TRL had to take off his microphoned hat just to avoid losing his hearing. Looking up ashamed at the guests he was supposed to be greeting–Victor, Rich, Rachel, Jubilee and Keira Knightley–he calmly said, “Um…she’ll be right here.”


“Shouldn’t we actually be participating in the hunt?” Michelle asked, following Liz the foliage of the island.

“Michelle, I have a kid,” Liz said as she strode. “I do enough scavenger hunting. Besides, this may be more fun in the end. Observe.” Liz pushed aside a branch and signaled for Michelle to come near her to look at the sight. They saw Mandy Moore looking at a piece of paper. She was with a man who had a nice grin on his face. “That guy right there, see him? That’s Mr. Voodoo Joe. Wanna pop in, give him a good ol’ hello?”

“Why not?” Michele asked with a smile.


“So, would you like me to play you a song or something?” Mr. F asked, walking with Elisha down the beach, his guitar in one hand, his other around her waist.

“That’d be nice, but maybe later Metal Head,” she said with a smile. “I do feel like some relaxing though. Let’s just grab a bite to eat and take it from there.”

“All right, but are you sure you don’t want to join in on the hunt? I feel like you’re missing out on some fun for no reason.”

“Hey, I think we’re doing a good damn job of making our own fun Mr. F,” she told him, kissing him on the cheek. “Now, let’s get some food, then get back to making our own fun.”


“I don’t think anything’s in here,” FD objected, following Amber into the thicket of bushes. He didn’t mind being crouched behind her with his face just inches from her ass, but he wished the damn pricker bushes weren’t all over the place.

“It’s not here, but it’s the quickest way back to the surf shop on the beach,” Amber explained.

FD nodded and followed her, moving along behind her up the hill through the bushes. Amber gasped in surprise as her foot snagged under a root and she slipped backwards, tumbling into FD. They both fell to the ground, and FD felt blood on his face from one of the bushes. Amber was whimpering in pain, and he saw her clutching her leg.

“My ankle…” she groaned. FD gently pushed her hands away and ran his hand over the ankle.

She hissed in pain, but he reassured her, “It doesn’t feel like it’s broken. I’m no doctor, but I broke mine playing baseball back at school and know what it felt like.”

“What are we gonna do?” Amber cried. “I don’t want to slow you down, but I do think I need to stay off my feet for a while…”


“Have a good flight?”

“We certainly did,” Jubilee said with a sly smile towards Rachel and Keira. “First Class never felt so good.”

“Nor have my nipples ever felt so good,” Keira said, giving Rachel a quick peck on the cheek. “You two are the best seat partners a girl could ask for.”

“Oh, that reminds me,” Jubilee said, reaching into her carryall bag and pulling out a pink thong. “These are yours.” Keira blushed as Rich and Victor groaned.

“I take it you two were in back,” TRL asked.

“Yes,” they muttered together.

“Well, your rooms are all set for you. Rich, they’re looking for your help with the concert, and Miss Knightley, I happen to know that Elisha Cuthbert is looking for you.”

“Great,” Jubilee said. “What about us?”

“One second, love,” TRL said, pressing a button on his pager.

“You can drop the phony accent anytime, TRL,” Victor said.

“Sorry, can’t help it,” TRL replied. Suddenly, a golf cart pulled up next to him. Rachael Leigh Cook was driving. “I believe, Jubilee, that this ride’s for you and the lovely Miss Stevens.”

“Rachael driving Rachel. Seems appropriate,” Rich said.

“And I’m sandwiched between them,” Jubilee said with a vicious smile. “Have fun, boys.”


“Here, let me sit you down here so I can rest a minute,” FD told Amber, trying to conceal the fact that he was breathing hard.

“You can go on without me if you want,” Amber offered. She didn’t really want to be left alone in the middle of this jungle, or whatever it was they were in, but she didn’t want to be the one to cost FD his chance of winning.

“I’m not going anywhere without you,” FD said firmly, setting her down on a stump. On the pretext of checking her ankle, he ran his fingers down her leg.

“Fucking lick her slutty pussy,” a female voice yelled from the other side of a row of bushes behind FD.

“What the fuck?” FD asked no one in particular as he put Amber’s foot down to go investigate.

“What is it?” Amber asked FD as he peeked through the bushes.

“It’s… it’s…” FD said, unable to speak because his mouth was suddenly deprived of saliva from the sight of Scarlett Johansson standing with her back to a tree and her arms tied behind her. Her bikini top had been pulled down and a red haired woman had her head pressed firmly to Scarlett’s chest while another redhead was on her knees, head in Scarlett’s crotch.

“What is it?” Amber repeated, getting to her feet and hopping on her good foot over to where FD was. Opening a hole in the bushes so she could peek through as well, her jaw dropped open and all she could do was stare at the lesbian threesome taking place mere feet away.

“Are you two going to watch all day, or are you going to join us?” the redhead sucking on Scarlett’s nipple asked, not bothering to turn around.

FD and Amber turned to look at each other at the same time. When Amber nodded, FD put his hand on her back and let her put her weight on his shoulder as they pushed through the bushes into the used clearing. When they made it to the group, the two mystery women finally showed their faces. The one at Scarlett’s chest turned out to be Jen and the one with Scarlett’s pussy juice on her chin happened to be Laura Prepon.

“You,” Laura said, pointing at FD, “get over here and do me. You, good looking chick, take care of Jen there.”

Marching orders received, both FD and Amber set about getting naked so they could carry them out. Once FD was naked he stepped up behind Laura and ran his hands over her ass. Amber, on the other hand, couldn’t walk on her bum ankle so she crawled to Jen on her hands and knees instead.

“I love it when they crawl,” Jen said, massaging Scarlett’s exposed breast with her hand as she watched Amber.

“Fuck me,” Laura demanded as FD pressed his cock against her pussy.

“Eat me,” Jen told Amber, grabbing her head and pressing it against her cunt.

“What about me?” Scarlett screamed in frustration as everyone else seemed to be getting some but she’d been forgotten.

“Shut up,” Laura hissed at Scarlett as FD started fucking her. After a couple strokes she got the rhythm down and turned her attention back to Scarlett.

“Finger my pussy,” Jen moaned as Amber’s tongue lapped away at her slit.

Nodding, Amber pressed a finger against Jen’s hole. When Jen screamed for more Amber added a second and started fucking her with them.

“Oh God yes,” Jen screamed as Amber’s fingers and tongue worked her over. To shut herself up she turned her head and sucked Scarlett’s breast back into her mouth.


“You hear that?” Mandy asked, responding to a rustling in the bushes at her left.

“Yeah,” Joe responded. “But it’s probably just the wind. Victoria doesn’t have any wild animals on the island.”

“Animals?” Liz asked, walking out from the foliage with Michelle Branch in tow. “Nope. Wild? Most definitely. Would you guys, I don’t know, like to see how wild?”

“Yes,” Joe replied, removing his shirt.

“But Joe, what about the scavenger hunt?” Mandy asked.

“Mandy, let me ask you something,” Liz said, walking over to Mandy. “What would you rather do, compete to be in a re-enactment? Or be in your very own scene, starring the four of us?” Liz leaned in and kissed Mandy while one her hands massaged the young woman’s right breast, the other sliding a finger into her moist slit. Mandy began to respond, licking Liz’s tongue, but the older woman pulled away. “Sorry hun, I just got my world rocked. Might be up for another round in a few, and I’m not quite sure if Michelle has earned hers yet…so why doesn’t this happen. Why don’t you suck Joe’s cock while Michelle eats you out?”

“But Liz…” Michelle said in an almost whine.

“No buts Michelle. You have to fucking earn it. Now get to it.”

Michelle turned around in a huff to see Mandy and Joe already in action, Mandy now nude, on all fours, sucking off Joe, his pants around his ankles, leaning against a tree. She licking and kissed along his length as she fondled his balls in her right hand, moving up a bit to balance herself better.

Though she was disappointed not to be cumming herself, Michelle’s complaint soon faded as she got on all fours behind Mandy, lightly licking her slit.

Feeling the new sensation on her aroused pussy, Mandy was spurred to increase her treatment on Joe, now slowly taking him into her mouth all the way, snaking her tongue around every inch conceivable. She kneaded and massaged his balls, making his eyes roll into the back of his head.

Joe looked down on this sight, brushing away the hair from Mandy’s face as she looked up at him, her eyes full of lust, with Michelle eating her out. He then took a quick glance at Liz watching, fingering herself. All this equaled pleasure on a cosmic scale to him as he began to thrust into Mandy’s mouth, caressing her cheek as he began.

Mandy’s arousal was also increasing, with Michelle stepping up her treatment, sucking hard on Mandy’s clit, nibbling softly, darting across it quickly with her tongue as she finger fucked her wet snatch. All this, and knowing not only that Liz was watching, and anyone could come in and catch her like this, managed to drive her overboard, as she began to feel her orgasm rush over her. She moaned loudly onto Joe’s cock as her pussy flooded onto Michelle’s mouth.

The vibrations of the moan set Joe off, letting a loud grunt signal his orgasm, shooting stream after stream into Mandy’s mouth, feeling her mouth work hard to swallow every drop he gave her, though he saw her let some dribble out. It was something she did on purpose, to give him a bit of a bonus. She removed her mouth from his cock, swallowed and smiled, opening her mouth after to show him it was all gone.

“Very nice warm-up ladies and gentleman,” Liz said with a devilish grin. “Now, how about you all join me over here for the main event?”


“Where did Keira tell you to meet her?” Mr. Fantastic asked, walking with Elisha by the hotel’s pool.

“She said she’d meet us at the restaurant,” Elisha replied. “That’s why I thought we should go by there…but it’s been about an hour, and no sign of her. Wonder what she got herself into?”

“Hmmm…CSSA Spring Break…let me see…most likely possibility is she’s somewhere baking cookies.”

“Ha ha,” Elisha said, playfully slugging him in the arm. “Still, we were supposed to meet up.”

“Well, what do you wanna do to kill time?” Mr. F asked. “There was a pool hall on the inside, and it’s near enough the restaurant so if she comes by, we can spot her.”

“Sounds like a plan to me. Let’s go.”


As he came to, he felt the feelings of liquid covering his face.

Holy shit.

He came, he saw Jessica Alba, he conquered. His tongue ran over his lips and around to the reachable sides of his face. Salty. Really salty.

His head snapped back and he began to sputter and cough.

A relieved exhale was heard.

“You all right?” the ex-Dark Angel asked her now-thoroughly-embarassed companion. She let go of the back of his head and pulled him out of the ocean. “You passed out so fast I got scared.” He coughed and spit out some more of the sea water.

“It’s all right. I guess we don’t win the scavenger hunt.” he added, trying to turn a joke in this bad situation. “How long was I out for?”

“A while. But, we can still go to the barbecue.” His face brightened. “Probably better than eating all that sand.” She looked at him: about her height, sculpted legs, and something very promising in the Hawaiian shorts. She headed over to a red box and opened it.

“This’ll get us a ride to the barbecue,” Jessica explained to him, as he knocked the dust off his Jordan throwback. As she cradled the phone, a golf cart pulled up with two content drivers.

He recognized them immediately.

“You’re Melissa Joan Hart!” He smiled, and she did too. Then he saw her.


“You know what they say, Jess…”

“I know, I know, goofy guys have the big junk. Can we get to the barbecue before he passes out again?”

Hart revved up the cart, and the foursome whistled off down the sands.


“Is this true?” Susan Duff finally managed to say to Cindy. “You’ve been corrupting my daughter? You’ve been robbing her of the chance to grow up normal? You’ve turned her into… into one of THEM? How many others have you been dragging into your sicksickSICK lifestyle?!”

“She didn’t drag us into it, mom!” Hilary yelled. “Me and Lindsay met her at the same club, we hit it off – I know Cindy’s been with other ladies, and you know how I know? Because she’s straight with me, not the domineering bitch you are!”

Susan drew her hand back to slap her cash cow of a daughter, and felt another hand grip it. “Hilary told me about you; if you hit her again I’ll kill you right here and now,” Cindy told the woman coldly.

With a whole crowd and cameras watching, the heavy woman glared at Cindy before pulling her hand away. “This isn’t over,” Susan told her. “And as for you, Hilary, if you have any sense left in that head of yours you’ll leave this sleaze pit. Crawford’s at the end of her career, yours is just starting – something like this could ruin it.”

“She can’t play to kids forever,” Lindsay said, holding Hilary close to her. “And Cindy’s career doesn’t depend on her daughters.”

Kate Garraway beamed as Susan Duff paced away, leaving Cindy to join the girls. Cindy was officially out with a girl half her age. Two girls half her age, in fact. Now all she had to do was to find out who those other ladies were.


“Good luck finding Liz,” Victor said to Rich. “Get her to sign your guitar.”

Rich winked at his friend as he took his leave, looking forward to being the first author to get his hands on Miss Phair (and setting himself up for another letdown thanks to Voodoo Joe getting there first). Victor, ruefully fingering the “Hello, I’m (your name here)” label that TRL had insisted he and all the other writers wear to ID themselves for unfamiliar authors, figured that he’d better get himself ready to mingle with everyone, and try to track down Cindy C. As soon as he finished nursing this drink.

“I would never work for Jennifer Lopez. Ever.”

Victor looked up from his drink, and felt his spirits lift on seeing Jennifer Garner standing by his table, smiling down at him and showing a lot of skin. He found himself returning the smile.


Seeing that Jen was about to cum, Laura pushed FD away and crawled over to her. Nudging Amber aside, she stuck her head in there as well.

“Fuck,” Jen screamed as two tongues attacked her cunt.

“Hey!” Scarlett whined when Laura left her, yet again.

“I could help you out,” FD so selflessly offered Scarlett.

“Please,” Scarlett pleaded, squeezing her thighs together.

He moved to untie her but she shook her head. Shrugging he left her tied up like that and instead lifted one of her legs. As Scarlett hooked the leg behind him he positioned his cock at the entrance of her pussy and slammed it home.

“AHHHH,” Scarlett moaned, lifting her other leg to wrap it around FD’s waist as well.

“Gonna cum,” Jen panted, thrashing around as the two tongues attacked her clit. Amber’s fingers were still in her pussy and Laura had slipped two into her ass to urge her over the edge.

“Fuck me,” Scarlett hissed, feeling her own long overdue release coming.

Just as Jen climaxed and flooded Amber’s fingers with her cum, Laura spread the fingers in her ass apart. The slight pain contrasted with the pleasure and made the orgasm that much more intense for Jen.

“Fuck her FD,” Amber said, turning her attention to her scavenger hunt partner now that Jen had gotten off.

“Yeah, fuck me,” Scarlett moaned, doing her best to meet FD’s thrusts. “Oh God, I’m cumming!”

With one last thrust into her FD felt Scarlett’s cunt clamp down on his cock and he unloaded inside her.


Warm, penetrating sun soaked down on Ashley Judd’s bare breasts as she lay out on the southern beach of Victoria’s Island, providing the simplest of pleasures that nature could create. Beside her, Kate Beckinsale still wore her entire bikini, but it was skimpy enough that aside from the thinnest of lines, her back would appear perfectly tanned. They’d both donned plenty of sun screen, and would again soon when the timer told them to turn over.

Kate was nearly asleep, but Ashley was enjoying the view of the waves – as well as the literally dozens of half-naked and fully naked women romping about the beach. Bisexuality was almost a given here for the women on Victoria’s Island, and everyone who came clearly came to get laid. Ashley knew she planned on getting some, and she had invited Kate along in the hopes of getting into her panties. But not just yet – time enough for that later. After all, they were here all week. Now it was time to relax and enjoy the warm weather.

As she watched, Ashley spotted a beautiful, young brunette. She looked familiar, but Ashley couldn’t place her. She wore only the tiniest of bikinis, with a thong bottom that showed off an ass that many a man would have sold their own mothers to fuck. Ashley wanted her, and wanted her right away.

“Ashley?” a quiet voice said from behind her. Startled, Ashley looked back to find a beautiful woman behind her. Not too tall, with a slightly Asian look to her, Ashley was struck by her perfect smile.

“Yes?” Ashley asked.

“I’m sorry to interrupt you, but TRL wanted me to make sure you and Kate had made it safely to the hotel. My name is Jodi. Jodi Ann Paterson, I’m one of his gophers.”

“Ah, one of his bunny-fers,” Ashley smiled.

“Yeah, we hate that joke, too,” Jodi replied with a warm smile. “Is there anything I can help you with?”

Ashley thought for a moment, wondering if she could get Jodi out of the skimpy skirt and tight tank top she was wearing. TRL had said that the Playmates were willing to do anything…

“No,” Ashley said, smiling. “Thank you, but I’m good for right now.”

“All right,” Jodi said. “If you need me, you’ll be able to find me.”

Suddenly, a thought hit Ashley. “Actually, maybe you can help me.”

“Yes?” Jodi asked.

Ashley pointed to the hot brunette still waling down by the sands. “Who is that girl down there?”

“Ah, that’s Kim Smith,” Jodi said at once. “A model. TRL requested her invitation personally. He thinks she’s really hot.”

“I can see that,” Ashley said.

“Would you like me to introduce you?” Jodi asked.

“No, thanks,” Ashley said, standing up and stretching. “I think I can do that myself.”

“Have fun,” Jodi said, smiling as she walked off.

“I think I will,” Ashley said, admiring Kim’s ass as she approached the young model. “I think I will.”


“Mind if we stop here for a sec?” Jules asked Cosmo as they reached a small clearing in the woods. “I’m getting a cramp in my leg. I don’t suppose you could massage it for me, could you?”

“Um, sure thing ma’am,” Cosmo replied as he hesitantly knelt beside Jules and took her left calf into his shaking hands. ‘Shit, this is bad. Kramer, you’re going to be in deep shit if you fuck this up. Mr. S paid you to take care of his wife during the CSSA Spring Break, not fuck her! Not to mention the strings he pulled to get me listed as an author, what’s going to happen when people find out that I’m really not?’ The same thoughts ran through his mind, over and over, as he tried in vain to calm down. It was bad enough that he was currently massaging the (very married) woman he had lusted after for years. Even worse, sex was everywhere on this island. Since embarking on this little hunt, they had heard cries of several cries of “FUCK ME!” from deep in the woods, as well as the very distinctive “Oh my God, nobody’s ever licked my ass like that,” and a simultaneous “Aye popi!” and “Oh, my quivering ballz!”

For her part, Jules was enjoying the attention of this hot young stud. She was especially amused by his very obvious discomfort, which increased ten fold when she asked him to move his hands up to her thigh. “Kid, you seem a little tense. Maybe I should be the one massaging you.” Jules could barely stifle a laugh as Cosmo’s face turned red with embarrassment.

“Mind if I ask you a question kid?”

Kramer needed a moment to regain his composure. “Sure ma’am.”

“Ma’am makes me feel old. Please call me Jules,” she really was getting a kick out of teasing poor Cosmo.

“Um, sorry ma-, I mean Jules. Sorry Jules. I’ll do anything for you. I mean, I’ll answer any question for you.” ‘Fucking crap on a stick, she must think I’m the biggest tool in the world,’ he thought dejectedly. “So, um, what did you want to know?”

“Why do you think you’re here?”

“To make sure that you have a good time?” Cosmo wasn’t sure where this was going; as much as he wanted it to lead into Jules’ pants, he dared not think himself that lucky.

“What if I told you that you’re here for revenge? Say, for my husband fucking that cunt Julia Roberts behind my back?”

“That Mrs. Ed looking skank?” This was certainly news to Kramer. “Why would he want a piece of that horse bitch?”

“That doesn’t matter. What matters is that I’m allowed to get even with the man of my choosing,” Jules said with a mischievous glint in her eye as she grabbed Cosmo’s head, pulling him face to face with her. “Who do you think got you listed as an author here?”

Cosmo gulped as he realized what was happening. “But, um, what about the scavenger hunt? I thought you wanted to win,” even as he uttered the words, he began kicking himself. ‘WTF am I thinking?!?’

“Why would I want to find a fake cock when I have a real one right here?” Jules reached down and began fondling Cosmo’s growing erection. “Besides, it feels like I’ve already won. You have no idea how long I’ve wanted this,” she whispered into his ear as she began undoing his shorts.

“Hey, that’s supposed to be my line,” said Cosmo as he finally got with the program, and began kissing Jules’ neck and untying her bikini top. He couldn’t help but feel a swelling of pride (among other things) at the realization that she wanted him as much as he wanted her.

“Oh my,” Jules gasped as she freed Kramer’s prick from his boxers. “Much bigger than Steven,” she began lightly stroking. “Mind if I try out my prize?”

It seemed unreal to Cosmo as Jules began kissing her way down his chest, moving toward his now throbbing cock. “Yo yo ma…”


“See her yet?” Mr. Fantastic asked, lining up his shot on the pool table.

“No, not yet,” Elisha replied, taking her glance from the restaurant back to the pool table. Mr. Fantastic had her. He only had 2 more solids on the table, she still had four stripes. If things kept going like this, she’d lose. Wasn’t that bad, even though they had a bet on it. She won, he pays for the eventual dinner between Keira, herself, and him at the most expensive restaurant in the place. If he won however, the three of them would have to do WHATEVER he wanted. Not that that was a particularly bad thing. She had plans to have more fun with him anyway, but she was hungry, and even gourmet food becomes that much better when someone else is paying for it. Human nature. She had to think of a way to fuck him up. She had it. With a sly smile she got in his view. She stuck her hand down her pants and began to finger herself, as her other hand lifted her shirt up to expose her breasts, which she soon massaged.

“Unnnnnnnn,” she groaned, biting her bottom lip. “Take your shot Mr. Fantastic…come on babyyyyyy…”

Mr. F was sweating now. As much as he liked pool…as much as he wanted to win…he couldn’t take his eyes off her. He pulled back on the cue stick and shot, darting his eyes towards her as she let out a loud moan. The distraction was enough to make him launch the cue ball off the table completely and out of the pool hall even.

“Well, I’d call that a scratch Mr. F,” Elisha said with a giggle.

“Oh COME ON,” he replied.

“Hey, this cue yours?” a female voice asked form the outside. As the owner of the voice walked in, both players saw the ID.

“E-eliza Dushku?” Mr. F stammered.

“Uhhhh, let me check,” she said, opening her top and looking down it. “Yep, that’s me.”

“Mr. F, let’s make the eventual table for four,” Elisha said with a smile. “Kind of appropriate for Mr. Fantastic.”

“Who’s the fourth?” Eliza asked Elisha and Mr. F, only seeing them and her, which, as she learned in school, equals 3.

“Keira’s supposed to meet us, but she hasn’t shown up yet,” Elisha explained.

“Ah,” Eliza said. “Who’s winning?”

“I am,” Elisha and Mr. F both answered at the same time.

“I’m winning, but she’s cheating so she’ll probably win,” Mr. F clarified for Eliza.

“It’s my shot, so you keep an eye out for Keira,” Elisha told Mr. F, taking the cue stick out of his hand.

“I can help you out if you want,” Eliza whispered into Mr. F’s ear as Elisha was lining up her shot.

“How so?” Mr. F asked, intrigued.

“Like this,” Eliza said, grabbing Elisha’s ass just as she was starting her shot.

“Shit,” Elisha groaned as the little white ball missed completely and bounced off the side of the table without touching anything.


“Was ‘Hater on the plane with you?” Beyonce asked Victor.

“No, haven’t seen him. He’d probably swim here for you, but I didn’t see him on the flight over here,” Victor answered.

“He better not be with that bitch, Angelina Jolie,” Beyonce cursed, feeling so jealous that she hadn’t even realized she’d cursed.

“I’m sure he’ll show up sooner or later. Like I said, maybe he missed his flight and is swimming across the Atlantic,” Victor offered.

“I hope so,” Beyonce said, folding her arms across her chest in frustration. “If I catch Angelina anywhere near my man, I’ll… well, I don’t know what I’ll do but it’s gonna hurt.”

“I just bet it will,” Victor laughed as he spotted Jennifer coming back from the bar, drinks in hand. Suddenly it was 1979 and he was trapped in a bad episode of The Love Boat (was there ever a good one?); two beautiful women meeting the same man, neither of whom expected to see the other, coming along at the same time and…

“Hey, Bey! I didn’t know you were here as well!” laughed the tall actress as she set down the drinks.

“Hi, Jen! I was just asking Victor here about ‘Hater…”

“He’ll be here. This is horndog central, Bey, you just wait. Now what are you having?”

“Well, I just came by to ask…”

“Beyonce! Free drinks!” Victor interrupted. That bit of logic got Beyonce asking, Jennifer scurrying back inside towards the bar, and Victor getting another chance to check out those long legs and fantastic toned butt. He made a mental note to get her working for Cindy C. again, as Beyonce sat down opposite him, trying to block his view.


The buzzer went off just as ‘Hater did, screaming his lady’s name to the ceiling.

“Just in time,” Angelina Jolie panted, shoving herself back and bringing the strap-on she was wearing with her, to a sigh of relief from ‘Hater as the length left his bruised ass. “Looking forward to round two on the plane.”

“We got space?”

“Damn right,” Angelina laughed, slapping ‘Hater’s butt. “First class all the way for CSSA…”


“You know, while you were out swallowing Caribbean cock, some Limey babe found out Hilary Duff and Lindsay Lohan are real good friends, and they’re right under Cindy Crawford’s wing,” Maria’s producer fumed over the phone. “ET doesn’t like getting beaten to a story by a breakfast show. Especially not a British one. You better get on with your job, unless you want to wind up on Muchmusic…”

Maria was about to tell him off about that slur against Canada, but he had hung up. The guy was loud and rude, but he was right; that GMTV lady had trumped her once, and it wasn’t about to happen again. She’d made a date with one of the locals, but she was going to be late… she had some teens to track down and ask about their love lives.

“Hey, you’re from Entertainment Tonight!”

Maria recognized that booming voice from an interview she had done with her daughter. Wherever Hilary went, Susan fucking Duff was bound to go… “Right first time!” she laughed professionally. “Enjoying the sunshine?”

“I know there’s press crawling over this place, but I don’t want to hand this to that fat-assed Brit. You’re looking for a story, I’ve got one for you. One that’ll bust this place apart.”

And teach those sluts Lohan and Crawford to mess with my daughter, Susan thought.


“I can’t believe them,” Amber huffed, watching Jen and Laura walk off into the woods. “We all have sex and then back to the scavenger hunt like we’d never met?”

“Hey, if those two are together, who’s your partner?” FD asked Scarlett, untying her from the tree. For courtesy’s sake (and to stop her partner from being distracted by her rather large breasts), Amber had gotten Scarlett’s red bikini top and bottom back onto the bound woman.

“I don’t have one,” Scarlett explained as she pulled her cutoff jean shorts up her legs, then slipped her shoes on. “Actually, I was just here for a hike in the woods when I started talking to Jen, then Laura tied me up before I could react.” She clenched her fists a few times to get the blood flowing. “Not that I really cared, once there was sex I didn’t mind, but still… So what is this, a scavenger hunt?”

“Yeah, and a weird one at that,” FD replied, taking Amber in his arms again and starting to walk towards the sounds of the surf. “But right now, I’m worried about Amber’s ankle more than about winning anything.”

“Aww, that’s sweet,” Amber said, blushing. “You really don’t need to do that.”

“It’s ok, I’m gonna take you back to get your ankle looked at, and then Scarlett and I will go win this thing for you,” he smiled. “Now let’s get going before another team decides to delay us with the lure of sex…”

“That’s a bad thing?” Scarlett joked, rolling her eyes. “You’ve got some odd priorities, buddy.”


From where she stood, Jodi Ann Paterson could see everything happening on the beach. The lifeguard towers were generally manned by trained lifeguards, all of them women, but this one was currently empty, the lovely redheaded lifeguard strolling along the waterfront on patrol at the moment and leaving the place wide open for anyone to use to enjoy the view.

At the moment, Jodi was only interested in one view: Ashley Judd and Kim Smith. Ashley had gone up to the model almost at once, striking up a conversation. Jodi knew what Ashley wanted from the model; it was the whole reason all these celebs were here. Heck, it was part of the reason Jodi herself was here. Sex permeated this place, and the female form was celebrated for purely sexual reasons.

Jodi loved to watch others have sex; it was why she’d agreed to take the job here. Now she watched as Ashley flirted with Kim, who was clearly quite receptive. Not three minutes into their conversation, and they’d already shared a kiss. Jodi watched as they switched from gentle kisses to making out right on the beach.

Jodi felt herself starting to get wet as Kim started to pull on the strings of Ashley’s bikini bottoms. Allowing her left hand to slide down between her own legs, Jodi gently started stroking her own swollen pussy lips.

Watching carefully, Jodi saw Kim slowly slide her fingers inside Ashley’s crotch. The younger model was doing something right, because soon enough, Ashley’s legs collapsed out from underneath her, and the two fell giggling to the sand. Jodi watched as Ashley yanked off Kim’s top, dropping her lips to her new partner’s nipples like a starving baby. The image made Jodi squirm in delight.

As Kim lowered her body down Ashley’s to press her lips to the actress’ cunt, Jodi pushed her fingers into her own snatch. God, she was getting hot fast. Her breath came faster and faster as Kim clearly started to thrust harder and harder with her tongue, penetrating deep into Ashley’s slit. Jodi tried to match her fingers to Kim’s thrusts, but she couldn’t hold out much longer. As she watched Ashley cry out in pleasure, her own fingers brought her to climax, sending the former PMOY into a blissful orgasm.

Jodi’s moans of pleasure didn’t even begin to drown out to cry of passion coming from Ashley at that very moment.


“All right Michelle,” Liz said. “I think you just earned your shot. Strip, then lay the fuck down.”

Michelle did as she was told, removing her clothing completely and then laying down. As soon as she was on her back, Liz had her face buried between Michelle legs, biting and licking her inner thighs, wiggling her ass invitingly.

“Fuck Joe, do I really need to be subtle?” she asked. “Fuck my ass. Mandy, sit on Michelle’s face and let her eat that little pussy.” Mandy and Joe needed no further encouragement. As Joe moved behind Liz and pressed his cock head at her anal entrance, Mandy squatted over Michelle’s face, almost instantly feeling Michelle’s tongue begin to lap at her, getting a light sigh/moan to escape from her mouth.

As Joe pressed harder, Liz let out a guttural moan as she felt him slowly entering her cavity, clawing into the ground as she went back to working on Michelle, teasing her lower lips before taking the young woman’s clit in between her lips and lashing it with her tongue as she began to insert her fingers inside the lucky Ms. Branch.

Mandy was having herself a nice time as well, with Michelle hungrily lapping at her pussy and herself getting a free sex show of Joe fucking Liz in the ass. She wanted in on this, but for now, her own treatment courtesy of Michelle would have to suffice, not that she was complaining.

Joe himself was having a Hell of a time. How could a guy not? He just got a blowjob from Mandy Moore, and was now currently fucking Liz Phair up the ass, priming to give her some of his own Hot White Cum. He grabbed her by the hips and began to ram into her harder, his sweat dripping from his forehead and landing on the small of her back. “Life doesn’t get ANY better than this,” he thought to himself with a smile.

Michelle was also having the time of her life. Liz’ treatment on her pussy was nothing short of expert, sometimes sending slow waves of pleasure through her, other times quick lightning bolts of it, which only fueled her treatment on Ms. Moore above her. She sucked fiercely on Mandy’s clit, drawing her teeth across it lightly when she could. Liz was getting to her, the quick darts of the older woman’s tongue, twists and turns her fingers made inside Michelle’s cunt, purposely only grazing the young woman’s g-spot. When Liz gave Michelle the shocker, it was indeed over for her. Michelle’s orgasm stiffened the young woman’s body and flooded Liz’s mouth. Michelle was now exhausted, leaving Mandy unfulfilled, a disappointed look on her face.

The exact opposite look was on Joe’s face, as his own orgasm began to hit him. A few more quick thrusts, and he let loose in Liz’ ass, the two of them collapsing forward in a sweaty heap when his last load was shot.

“That was fucking fantastic,” Joe said, gasping for air.

“I know,” Liz replied in a similar breathless tone. “I was there.”

“Can anyone please take care of me?” Mandy asked, fingering herself. “I’m so fucking close…..”

“You up for one more Joe?” Liz asked, her eyebrow raised.

“Mandy, you’d know I’d love to, but I don’t know if I…” Joe managed to get out before Liz hushed him with her index finger.

“NO excuses. You need help to get ready again, then please, allow thy Blowjob Queen to aid thee…”


The bombshell out of the way, Cindy had composed herself enough to finish the piece with Kate; there was no way the reporter could promise her that the stuff she had filmed wouldn’t be aired, but Kate did tell her that she’d do her best to see that it wasn’t twisted in any way. That was about the best Cindy could hope for in the long run. That, and that some of the other women Cindy had been with hadn’t come.

In the short run, Lindsay tapped “When You Wish Upon a Star” on the door of their suite. She and Hilary had split up, thankfully without Mrs. D after them, but the redhead hoped she had remembered – and she never finished her train of thought, as the door opened and a pink arm shot out, grabbed Lindsay and dragged her in. “Lindsay! What kept you?!” a relieved Hilary asked.

“I needed to make sure your mom wasn’t following me,” Lindsay told her friend as they went into each other’s arms.

“I thought for a moment that you didn’t believe me about…”

“Hey, I’ve seen mothers like yours before, I can believe the cow would do something like that.”

“The cow… Cindy calls her that as well.”

“Forget about her for a moment…” and Lindsay planted her lips on Hilary’s again, as she had done on the beach. This time Hilary didn’t fight it; even if they had been in the open she wouldn’t have tried to push her off, what with their love now being in the open. But here, with no one for company but them… the two teenage girls plucked each other’s clothing off hurriedly, Lindsay secretly delighted that Hilary’s breasts were smaller than hers, Hilary thrilled with her belief that she had her friend beat in the leg department. Holding each other close, Hilary traced her fingers down Lindsay’s body, thrilling the girl as much as she had the first time they had touched.

Sliding her fingers into Lindsay’s ruby pussy, Hilary wondered if Cindy had ever taken her…


“Come in, Cindy!” the girls called in relief.


“Where were you?” Victor asked as Jennifer finally returned. “The bar isn’t that far…”

“Well… I’ll be honest with you. As soon as we’ve drunk up…” Jennifer winked at him as the three downed their booze and in Victor’s case juice. “Okay, here’s the thing – I’ve been looking for you ever since I got here.”

“How come? You want me to do an Alias story? This isn’t TSSA Spring Break – ”

“No no no; I’ve got something to get off my chest, and you’re the best person I can think of to get it done for me. Come on…”

“Where are we going?” asked Beyonce.

“Sorry Bey, this is between him and me.”

Not used to not getting her way, Beyonce Knowles was.


Still aglow from her encounter with Kim Smith, Ashley Judd returned to her seat to find Kate Beckinsale looking up at her.

“You seemed to enjoy that,” Kate said with a smile as Ashley sat down.

“You bet I did.”

“You haven’t bothered to put your suit back on.”

“Nope,” Ashley said. “You want me to get dressed again?”

“Nope,” Kate said. “Are we still going to wait until tonight before we do it?”

“That’s up to you,” Ashley said. The girls had made a deal to wait to make love to each other until the first night, when they could do it properly in a bed. Ashley thought it was romantic; Kate simply thought it prudent. She’d be happy to get it on with Ashley any time, but an exotic getaway like this required some romance, and Ashley was the lucky girl for that.

“We’ll wait,” Kate said. “But we’ll be going to bed nice and early, I think.”

“Amen to that,” Ashley replied.


Kim Smith had put her bathing suit back on after fucking Ashley Judd, but not out of modesty. The young model was more than happy to be naked all day long. But she had to cross the island to get to the concert stage, and going through the jungle was the fastest route. Victoria’s Island featured no animal life above the pesky mosquito, but in the deepest parts of the jungle, those little bugs could run pretty deep. Kim’s bikini didn’t cover much, but it did cover the areas she least wanted bit, should she run into a cloud of the things.

Walking at a brisk pace through one of the paths cut through the woods, she passed several teams out on the prowl in the Scavenger hunt, saw Rachael Leigh Cook driving Rachel Stevens and Jubilee down the widest path, and even passed Mischa Barton getting her pussy licked by Rachel Bilson. That last scene had almost made Kim stop and join in; she was a huge “O.C.” fan, but she was running late as it was, and though her pussy still dripped from her encounter with Ashley, she needed to get to the other side of the island fast.

Forgoing another lesbian encounter, Kim swung onto a seldom used track and tried to pick up her pace. She was deep into the woods now, and it suddenly occurred to her that she hadn’t seen anyone at all since she passed Mischa and Rachel getting busy with each other.

It was just as she realized that she was alone when the bag came down over her head. She screamed, but a hand shoved the bag into her mouth, stifling it instantly. Rope came around the bag, cutting just through the area where her mouth was, gagging her at once. Suddenly, hands wrapped themselves around her body, and she was lifted into the air and over someone’s shoulder.

They didn’t go far, probably just off the track. Not a minute later, Kim was dropped unceremoniously to the ground, and her attacker climbed on top of her. Kim struggled to get out from under her assailant, but to no avail. Soon, fingers were ripping her bikini bottom off, and a hard, thick cock was sliding into her still wet crotch.

She was being raped!

Kim fought hard, but the cock just kept diving deeper and deeper into her. The guy on top of her slammed his manhood in and out like a piston. Kim felt tears streaming down her face, wondering what had gone wrong, when she felt something else stirring – an orgasm! She was getting off from the rape!

Suddenly, the man on top of her went stiff, and Kim knew what that meant. He was shooting his load. But, judging from the fact that she couldn’t feel his hot seed filling her, he must have been wearing a condom.

The man pulled out of her, stood up, and slapped her on the side of the head, sending her reeling to the ground. Suddenly free to move her arms, Kim struggled to get the bag off her head. But by the time she could see again, her attacker was long gone.


“Mandy, since I’m doing you a favor, you might as well put those fingers to use on someone other than yourself,” Liz told the younger girl as she scooted up to Joe’s cock.

Obediently, the brunette removed her fingers from her own pussy and transferred them to Liz’. Liz smiled at Joe, her mouth obscured behind his cock. Taking the limp phallus in one hand, she licked along the underside of it, drawing a gasp from Joe. “This isn’t gonna take long, is it?” Liz asked, knowing her legendary fellatio skills would have the CSSA scribe ready for Mandy in no time.

Joe shook his head no, as Liz’s tongue went back down the underside of his soft-but-quickly-hardening cock. Tired of just teasing him, Liz took Joe’s prick into her mouth, sucking hard on it. Between the suction and the arousal factor of a sweaty, naked rock star at his disposal, Joe’s cock quickly hardened in Liz’s mouth.

“Mmmm… I’d love to suck on this all day, but that just wouldn’t be fair,” Liz breathed sexily as she pulled her mouth off of him, leaving his cock standing at attention, glistening wet with her saliva. She gasped in surprise as Mandy’s fingers hit something inside of her, pressing her body back against the pop star-turned-actress.

“Uh-unh,” Mandy said, shaking her head. “You can go see if Michelle’s up for any more, but I need to get off NOW.” Disappointed, but having had her fun for the moment, Liz crawled away from Joe, leaving him laying on his back with his cock in the air.

Without a word, Mandy straddled Joe’s waist and lowered herself onto his cock, his hands clutching her gorgeous breasts as she began to ride him…


“That wasn’t fair,” Elisha huffed as Eliza grinned. Mr. F wanted to laugh but he was too turned on by the sight of Eliza grabbing Elisha’s ass like that.

“And what you did was fair?” Mr. F managed to ask.

“That’s different,” Elisha said, trying to laugh.

“Whose turn?” Eliza asked.

“Mine,” Mr. F answered, grabbing the cue stick.

“Watch this,” Eliza whispered to Elisha.

“Watch what?” Elisha asked, but quickly finding out what Eliza meant.

As Mr. F lined up his shot he happened to glance up and see Eliza lifting Elisha’s shirt. When the blonde’s tits were revealed, Eliza quickly leaned down and sucked one of the nipples into her mouth. For her part, Elisha got into the act and let out a loud moan, much louder than was necessary but distraction was the key to winning and she really wanted to win.

Cursing under his breath Mr. F tried to close his eyes and clear his mind but it just sharpened his hearing and Elisha’s moaning and the sounds Eliza’s sucking came through that much louder. Finally giving up he struck the little white ball and sent it skittering across the green felt on the table. Somehow, some way, it managed to hit one of his remaining balls. It then managed to head for his other one and he was left wondering if he had just made the greatest shot of his life and make both of them go in. He didn’t, they didn’t as neither managed to find a pocket, but he had an idea.

“Look, there’s Keira,” Mr. F said, pointing outside. When Elisha turned to look, Eliza’s mouth still firmly attached to her breast, Mr. F used his cue stick to knock in the remaining balls before Elisha noticed that his shot had failed.

“I don’t see her,” Elisha said, still moaning loudly even though Mr. F had just cheated his way to victory.

“My bad,” Mr. F said, grinning when Elisha saw that both of his balls seemed to have disappeared from the table.

“Fuck,” Elisha grunted, both because she’d seemingly lost and because Eliza has just given her nipple a gentle bite.

“I guess I win,” Mr. F said, a little ashamed that he’d cheated but it wasn’t like Elisha had been playing completely fair either.

“I’m going to the bathroom. Maybe Keira will be here when I get back so we can have lunch,” Elisha announced.

“What are you going to do for me to make sure I don’t tell her about your cheating?” Eliza asked Mr. F, leaning against the edge of the table watching Elisha’s ass as it made its way to the ladies room.


The door to Victoria’s office/bedroom slammed shut, leaving a rather dejected Carnage Jackson, KMB, and TRL standing outside. Word about Kim Smith’s rape had gotten out fast. And once Victoria had gotten word of it, all hell broke loose.

“Well, that was not as much fun as I’d hoped it would be,” Carnage muttered.

“Yeah. Rose and I were halfway to finding the next clue in the scavenger hunt. Normally, when Victoria calls me into her office, I don’t mind. But, come on, Rose and I were going to be slipping into wet suits! Tight, form-fitting wetsuits!”

“Yeah, well, that’s the way the cookie crumbles,” TRL muttered. “At least you get to go back to your scavenger hunt.”

“Rape. Here, on Victoria’s Island,” Carnage muttered. “Never thought it would happen.”

“How can it?” KMB shot back. “I mean, there’s hardly any men on the island!”

“So, what are you going to do about it, TRL?” Carnage asked.

“Me?!” TRL said. “I thought we were in this together?”

“Not me,” KMB said. “I’m going back to my scavenger hunt. Rose is probably ready to jump in the water by now, and I don’t want to miss it.”

TRL looked to Carnage, but he shook his head. “Victoria put this squarely in your lap, TRL. You’re in charge of guest relations around here. Get your ass in gear and fix this problem.”


“No buts,” Carnage said.

“Except Rose’s,” KMB put in.

“I’ve gotta go – I’ve got a date to go coral reef swimming with Kirsten Dunst in twenty minutes,” Carnage said. He and KMB took off at a not-too-slow walk.

“Bastards,” TRL muttered. Then he remembered who they were going to go see. “Lucky bastards,” he muttered, before heading off to find Kim Smith.


“Where is she?” Mila muttered to herself. She had checked almost every bar on the island for Natalie, and come up with zip, zilch, and their bastard step-sister squat. She was about to give up and head back to the hotel, try to catch back up with Elisha till something caught her ear. She heard soft moans ahead of her. She kept moving. The closer she got, the moans got louder, but not by much. Soon, she saw some rustling bushes to match the moans.

Curious, Mila peeked over the bushes. She found Natalie. She also found her co-star, Laura, with her face planted in the good Ms. Portman’s crotch, and behind Laura, another attractive redhead, fucking Laura with a strap-on.

“Wanna join in Mila?” Laura asked, lifting her head from Natalie crotch. “I think Nat’s tongue could use a work-out…”


“Well, the doc said it’s just a little twist,” FD said, helping Amber into the elevator. “I’m just gonna help you to your room. Scarlett, where should I meet you to finish the hunt?”

“Just meet me at that bar over there,” Scarlett replied, pointing to the spot.

“All right, see you in a few,” FD said as the elevator closed.

“This is really nice of you FD,” Amber said, leaning against the elevator wall. “You don’t have to escort me back to my room. I’m fine.”

“Hey, I just wanna make sure everything is okay. May not be that bad of an injury, but no one wants you to do anything that’ll make it worse.”

“Is there anyway I can thank you?”

“Amber, no thanks necessary.”

The two stood in silence. Silence at least until Amber hit the stop button on the elevator, then pulled FD into her for a kiss.

“What’s that for?” FD asked.

“That’s me beginning to thank you,” Amber replied before kissing him again, holding his face to her with on hand while unbuttoning his shirt with her other. “And let me reiterate, beginning. Help me take of my shorts.” Needing no further encourage, FD, helped her, but gently. She, they were about to have sex, but special attention still had to be paid to the the injured ankle. FD laid Amber down on the floor of the elevator and slowly took Amber’s shorts and underwear off, kissing and licking her legs along the road to removal.

Once completely off, Amber gently got to her knees and took FD’s shorts and boxers to his ankles, kissing his inner thighs and lightly licking his ball sack. “FD, lift me up and fuck me.” Without a moment’s hesitation, FD complied. He slowly lifted her into his arms, feeling her wrap her legs around him, and she slowly lowered herself onto his hard cock, causing a very low pair of moans to escape both of their mouths.

With a small shuffle of his feet, FD pressed Amber’s back to the walls of the elevator and began to thrust into her.

“Yyyyyeeeeeeeessssssssssss,” Amber panted as her arms wrapped around his neck. “God yesss…fuck me…come on…unnnnnnnnnnnnn…”

FD continued to thrust, his pelvis swiveling every so often to ensure his cock could reach every point it possibly could inside her. He wanted to make sure she felt every bit as good as he did. To put it simply, he wanted to blow her mind.

Her eyes shut with pleasure, Amber could feel the heat and sweat emanating off of her hunt partner. She loved their current position, but thought it might be a bit tiring for him. “Lay down FD,” she said breathlessly. “Let me fucking ride you…..”

FD slowly lowered himself onto his back, and as soon as he was completely prone, Amber took charge. She placed her arms at his chest and began a slow rhythm, rising and falling, stalling and grinding, all with a wicked grin on her face. “Fuck yeah…oh my…yes…so goooooddd…”

The only sounds in the elevator to be heard were the loud moans coming from Amber and FD and the slapping of wet flesh. So it was no surprise really when neither on of them heard it when in throws of passion, Amber threw her arm up, hitting the stop switch again, once again putting the elevator into motion. They were so wrapped into each other, that they didn’t even notice the elevator was back in motion.

As Amber leaned her arms on the elevator doors, she felt a small burning within her. It was starting for her. As FD reached up and lifted her shirt up to suck and kiss her breasts, Amber began to bite on her lower lips, trying desperately to prolong this act, wanting it to last longer for them both. But, this was not meant to be, though she knew she would have to get one more taste of him before the stay was over.

With a start, Amber’s back straightened as a breathless groan escaped her lips, and her pussy began to spasm, clamping hard on FD’s cock, causing a chain reaction, triggering his orgasm, which had his eyes rolling into the back of his head as he sprayed his seed within her waiting cunt as it was itself covered in her cum.

As she collapsed on top of him, a big grin on both of their faces, the elevator door opened.

“Well well,” Sophia Bush said with a raised eyebrow. “This party private, or can anyone join in?”


The idea had been that Kate Garraway would do all her tapings in one day – Victoria’s people had been very cooperative, and had assured her that if there were any available ladies, they’d happily do an on-camera piece. Kate had therefore set up shop with Rachel Bilson, and was softening her up by telling her about how The O.C. was going down in the UK. Kate actually did use the term “going down,” and didn’t understand why Rachel had blushed while giggling on hearing those words – but then, Rachel had just come from being on the receiving end of Mischa’s mouth.

And not for the first time, as Susan Duff was divulging as part of her interview with a wide-eyed Maria Menounos. “Trust me, those Cindy Inc. stories are part based on fact – Cindy’s not the boss, though; she sort of serves as the middle woman. She works on the girls and ladies, takes them to the woman who doles them out…”

“You can’t go around making these allegations without some kind of proof,” Maria said. “This isn’t just cheating on someone or something like that – we expect that kind of thing.”

“Oh, I’ve got proof,” Susan replied. “I’ve got proof. When I found out that Crawford turned my Hilary into a dyke, I kept an eye on her and the newest girl she got for her boss. And look what I found.” She handed the reporter a large manila envelope, from which Maria took several 8 x 10 color glossies. Crystal clear focus and all; if Susan Duff had paid to have these taken on the sly, she had paid for the best.

The pictures were taken in a backyard on a sunny afternoon, and showed two naked people in a variety of positions. Maria instantly recognized the people in them, and flipped through them hurriedly, not believing it. But there it was – Lindsay Lohan getting her every hole plugged up by a very big, very fat, very ugly man.

“He’s a very enthusiastic customer,” Susan sneered as an appalled Maria tried to block out the image of a younger Lindsay sticking her tongue up Rush Limbaugh’s butt. “And he’s not the only one; I’ve got friends who would love it if this came out. Hilary thought Cindy loved her – that was why she let that mole-faced mutant and the woman running the ring break her in.”

“Won’t this be bad for the party if it gets out?”

“If gets Crawford and her boss thrown away, it’s worth it.

“And who’s the woman running this ring?”

“Why, Victoria, of course.”


“…as long as we live, it’s you and me baby, there ain’t nothing wrong with that…” Coming out of the elevator singing and hand-clapping in harmony, Jennifer Garner had been impressed to a) finally find a British guy who knew those words were from The Jeffersons and not from Nelly’s “Batter Up,” and b) find out that the guy who wrote it also did “Sugar Sugar.” You learn something new every day. Victoria had booked the largest hotel on the island for Spring Break, so every place not occupied by a mortal would be taken by a celeb.

The knowledge that they were walking down a corridor with sex on either side left nervous grins on the faces of the two tall people, and not even the soundproofing could stop that. A third of the way down the hall, Jennifer tapped out the seven-note code knock – “Real close to my heart,” the loyal ABC/Disney employee beamed – and was rewarded by a welcoming shout. She and Victor entered the room, and only one of them was surprised by what was there.

Because Cindy Crawford was taller than either Lindsay or Hilary, she was reclining on the sofa, with a blonde girl moaning softly as her head bobbed between the supermodel’s legs. Cindy had a redheaded girl sitting on her face, and her fingers were stroking the round behind the girl presented to Victor and Jennifer. “Hi… there…” Lindsay gasped between dabs of Cindy’s tongue, as Jennifer flicked her eyes down to Victor’s trousers. He might have written the odd MM scene, but he was as big and stiff as some fans thought the other Victor (Garber) was.

“Oh, poor baby,” Jennifer cooed as the writer watched the three others in action, resting her hand on his crotch. “You need to loosen up a bit. Here, let Dear Jenny give you some advice…” And she unzipped his trousers, Victor just breathing excitedly. Taking his bulging hard-on, Jennifer went on her knees to really show what her pouting lips were for.


Angelina Jolie had been right. It was first class all the way to the island; with the plane cutting through the skies and no one else in their section, Angelina could grind her naked, tattooed body on top of ‘Hater, pinning his hands down as she enjoyed his trim, sweaty body sticking his pole into her, and cackle away to her heart’s content. Up and down she shoved herself, ‘Hater wanting to get his hands on her, but Jolie not having any of it…

The first time ‘Hater and Angelina had been together it had been after Beyonce had been late returning from a TV appearance. She’d been in charge then as always, making him eat her out and not swallowing him until she was ready (it took four hours). ‘Hater got through that first time by replacing her cunt mentally with Bey’s. But each later time he subbed her with Beyonce less and less… and now, as he felt Angelina’s ripe form teasing out all his love-juice, he didn’t think of Beyonce Knowles at all.

“Me on my knees, right?” he panted eagerly as they thrust.

“Yeah!” Angelina shouted enthusiastically. “But I think you’ve earned the right to return the favor…”

Beyonce never let ‘Hater up her booty.


“Who knew there could be so many hot women having sex in one place?” Ashley Judd asked as she and Kate Beckinsale walked down from the hotel towards a small building on the North Shore. It was late afternoon by now, not that too many people had noticed. As they walked, they passed several couples engaged in various states of sex. From Pink and Kristanna Loken making out without their tops on, to Christina Aguilera taking a dildo to Mia Kirshner, there didn’t seem to be any limits to what could be done on Victoria’s Island.

“Have you actually READ anything on CSSA?” Kate asked.

“Well, I skimmed the Harem. It was kinda long…”

Kate laughed as Ashley pretended to feign ignorance.

“So, what do you want for dinner?” Ashley asked as they approached The Sweet Spot, the only restaurant on the island. The hotel provided some food – all of it room service – and the Sex on the Beach bar had appetizers, but if you wanted a real meal, you went to The Sweet Spot.

“Nothing too big,” Kate said. “Maybe just a salad.”

“Oh, come on! Have a burger and some fries,” Ashley kidded. “You’re too skinny, anyway.”

“Not funny, Ash,” Kate said. “Not funny at all.”

“Sorry,” Ashley said. “I forgot about your little eating problem.”

Kate smiled at her. “But you’re right; a burger and fries sounds good…”

Ashley jumped up with a smile. “I’ll go order.”

“I’ll grab us a seat,” Kate replied. Ashley bounded off, and for a moment, Kate just looked out at the ocean, enjoying the view. Then, as she glanced down at the beach, she saw Avril Lavinge and Michelle Rodriguez stripping each other’s clothes off. God, this place was filled with so much sex. Even Ashley hadn’t been able to hold off. Not that Kate wouldn’t have done Kim Smith, too. She’d watched as Ashley had gone down on Kim, and felt jealous. She’d promised to wait for tonight, but after that, it was no holds barred.

“Looks like fun, doesn’t it?” a voice said next to Kate. Looking up, a half-drunk Tara Reid flopped down into Kate’s lap.

“Excuse me?” Kate asked.

“Avril and Michelle down there,” Tara replied. “Looks like fun. It’s making me all wet.” With that, Tara lifted the small, flowing skirt she wore to reveal the pink thong underneath. Sure enough, there was a wet spot on the front.

“You are wet, aren’t you?” Kate said. Tara was a notorious party girl – and from what Kate had heard, not averse to experimenting with women. Looking around, Kate saw no sign of Ashley anywhere. Did she have time?

“Are you getting wet?” Tara asked, reaching up and feeling Kate’s left breast through her skimpy bikini top. Kate’s nipples went erect in a flash.

“Why don’t you find out?” Kate asked, smiling seductively at the drunk little blonde. Tara slid off Kate’s lap and landed on her knees before the brunette starlet. With probing hands, Tara gently pressed against Kate’s bikini bottom.

“I don’t feel anything,” Tara said.

“Look closer,” Kate said. With that, Tara stuck her fingers underneath Kate’s bikini and rapidly slid into the other actress’ cunt. Kate gasped for air as Tara’s fingers sunk into the wet puddle that was her pussy.

“That’s better,” Tara slurred, starting to slide in and out at once. Kate started moaning, sliding back in her chair to rest her head at the top, closing her eyes and allowing Tara to stroke away.

“Better take these off before we make a mess of them,” Tara said, pulling the strings on Kate’s bikini, pulling the bottom away from Kate’s snatch. Kate had shaved herself clean the day before, so there wasn’t so much as a single piece of stubble standing between Tara and her goal.

“Lick me,” Kate hissed. “Please, get me off!”

Tara followed directions at once, sinking her blonde head down into Kate’s crotch, and lapping away at the other woman’s clit while her fingers still slid in and out of her pussy.

Tara was an expert clit licker. She’d gotten women off in under a minute before.

For Kate Beckinsale, it took exactly sixty-three seconds before she gasped out her orgasm.

“T-Thank you,” Kate muttered as Tara popped up.

“No problem,” Tara said, grabbing her drink and walking off.

“Wait!” Kate said. “Don’t you want me to, uh, return the favor?”

“That’s all right,” Tara said. “We’ll just say you owe me one.” And with that, the blonde walked off, waving her tight little ass as she went.

Suddenly, a plate of food appeared before Kate.

“Looks like you had some fun while I was gone,” Ashley said with a smile.


“Ch-cheating?” Mr. F asked, trying to act astonished. “Why I never…”

“Oh come on,” Eliza said, rolling her eyes. “I grew up a total tom boy. I know the male psyche, so don’t act so fucking innocent. Geeze, it’s not like you did something HORRIBLE…just something I think you’d want kept quiet from the good Ms. Cuthbert…”

“…okay, what can I do for you Eliza?”

“Well, let me be the guide at first,” she said, taking Mr. F hand and placing it at her toned stomach, palm side down. “and then you take it from there.” Mr. F moved closer to her sliding his hand down her stomach into her pants. “Mmmmm, see how good this is working out?”

He slid his hand under her panties and lightly traced over her aroused lips. “Fuuuuuuck…fucking tease,” she muttered with a smile before kissing him, biting on his lower lip playfully. Mr. F smiled back and inserted his index and middle fingers into her, turning them as best he could to slowly reach every part of her velvet walls.

Eliza moved her hands between them and undid her shorts, having Mr. F remove his hands from her so she could remove them and her panties.

She hopped up, sitting herself on the edge of the pool table. “Eat my fucking pussy,” she said. “Make me cum, and my silence is sworn to you.” Mr. F got on his knees with a smile. Her put her right leg on his shoulder, and traced a trail with his tongue down her thigh, planting the occasional kiss along the way, leading to her glistening slit.

“What are you waiting for?” she asked with a grunt. “Fucking go for it….” Definitely not needing any encouragement (but not minding it either), Mr. F went for it. Laying down the foundation with a few slow, broad licks, he quickly went for Eliza’s clit, sucking fiercely on it as his left hand went to work as well, thrusting crooked fingers inside of her, twisting and turning as he sucked and licked at her clit.

“Fuck yes…eat that fucking pussy…fuckin’ make me cum…fuck yes…make me cum you fucker…fuuuuuuuuuuuck…” Eliza muttered, grabbing Mr. F by the hair and pushing his face further into her crotch, her body uncontrollably humping forward as well.

Mr. F smiled as best he could at her reaction. Sure, her body’s reaction was kind of depriving him of air, what with his passages being closed off a bit, but he didn’t care. He just increased his work. He teased her clit with his teeth, removing his tongue at moments, grazing his teeth along it, and soon returning his tongue. He removed his left hand and brought it up to her face. Eliza eagerly sucked his fingers in, tasting her own juices as her moved his right hand in to take the left’s place, now using 3 fingers inside of her.

Eliza couldn’t take much more of the treatment. Mr. F was indeed earning her silence. Well, one form of silence.

“FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK YEEEESSSSSSSSS!!!!” Eliza yelled, her body stiffening as her orgasm rocked her body, her juices flowing over Mr. F’s mouth and right hand. As Eliza rested, leaning back, Mr. F arose with a smirk.

“Do I have your silence now?” he asked.

“What the fuck do you think?” she asked, pulling him in for a kiss, again tasting herself. “And you earned yourself a treat as well. But for later.” She pulled her panties and shorts back on, and leaned against the table with Mr. F, acting as if they were just making simple conversation as Elisha walked in with Keira.

“Look who I found,” Elisha said with a smile. “Saw her at the bar talking to Scarlett Johansson. Now that we’re all here, let’s go to eat. Hope you still have some room for food Mr. F, after the meal you just had.”

“Huh?” he asked.

“OH come on, like me or Keira couldn’t hear that moan from down the hall. Sounded like fun…fun to be repeated later, wouldn’t you agree Keira?”

“Oh yes, very much so,” Keira said with a smile. “But can we please get to the restaurant. I’m really very bloody hungry.”


The taste of Cindy’s snatch still in her mouth, Hilary moved up Cindy’s body; as she slid up, Victor got a look at her open cunt. The source of her children and his fantasies… and then he felt Jennifer Garner’s fingers on his throbbing prick. Jennifer was looking forward to getting as many of the authors’ cocks (or clits, in the case of Jubilee) in her mouth as she could this weekend. Holding it close, she ran her tongue underneath and along Victor’s cock and enjoyed its feel and heft while the writer looked down at her and then over to the trio on the bed. She kissed the cockhead and curled her tongue around it before drawing it between her gorgeous lips.

Cindy let the troubles of the morning dissolve as she probed her tongue around Lindsay – “Mmmmm, yesss Cindy,” the teen whispered. “Keep it up… oh yeah no wonder they say you’re a SUPERmodel…” With Cindy’s tongue flickering in and out of Lindsay’s cunt, the redhead felt Hilary’s hands resting on her butt, starting to caress Lindsay’s cheeks and Cindy’s boobs. Hilary kissed each one over and over, not sure which one to devote herself to. From Victor’s POV, it was a no-lose proposition; he couldn’t keep from staring as he felt Jennifer’s mouth swallowing his cock, hands fondling him as she sucked, blowing on the rod and taking it deep into her throat, her grunts as she tasted the meat blending with Victor’s own groans as he watched Hilary finally settle for fondling Cindy’s breasts while placing her tongue on Lindsay’s soft, tender asshole. Hilary moved her tongue further up her so-called rival, as Lindsay quivered in delight at getting it in both doors. “Aaaahhhh… mmmm… guys… I love you guys…” she breathed.

Victor felt drops seeping down Jennifer’s throat as she kept working him, wanting to tear him away from the view… pulling her head back, she looked up at him, the first drops landing on her mouth. “You’ll get to be with them in a moment – why do you think we brought you up here? But for the moment…” And she pulled on the writer, dragging him to the floor with her. Fuck, Jennifer’s body was gorgeous – long, lean and strong; he pulled the lady into his arms and kissed her, pressing his form against her and grabbing her small but lovely tits. But while he got his lips on her boobs, he kept looking up at the threesome; Lindsay was shaking like a tree in a storm as Cindy’s tongue hit all her hotspots, and the supermodel was playing with those big tits of the girl’s. Victor could almost see Lindsay’s breasts bouncing as Cindy’s palms hefted them – and then he felt Jennifer wrapping her long legs around his hips and pulling him forward. “SHIIIIIIT!!!” he howled as she made him sink his pole deep inside her, a huge grin on her face.

“FUCK ME BABY!!! OH SHIT OH FUCK OH GOD!!!!” Lindsay yelled as Hilary and Cindy made her explode with happiness; her cunt sizzling and wet, she rolled off the blissful Cindy as Hilary plucked her lips from her anus before reaching under the bed. “Aaaaaa…” Going back and forth between what he was looking at and what was happening, Victor enthusiastically ground himself in Jennifer, clutching her back and ass, and trying to tease it out but too excited for it. Jennifer thrust her body against his, rotating her hips as he pumped her and kissing as much of him as she could, and not trying too hard to keep him from looking at the two younger ladies kissing either side of the elder stateswoman. Victor tried to think of someone unsexy enough so he could keep from draining his balls into Jennifer too fast, but before he could think up the image of Ron Rifkin and Victor Garber in a shower, the image of Cindy Crawford and Jennifer Garner buttfucking Hilary and Lindsay respectively got there first.

That did it; shoving fast enough to catch fire, he screamed out “OHHH JENNIFER ANNE GARNER YESSS!!!” as he happily emptied his load into the ecstatic woman. Relaxing against her, Jennifer patted the author. She’d give him about fifteen minutes or so to reload – or so she thought until she saw he was still looking at Cindy getting it from the girls. She was crouching on the bed with her ass up in the air, with Hilary behind her, and Lindsay behind her. Cindy arched her still-sexy body in bliss as Hilary slowly pushed her greased-up arm inside the woman’s butt, the blonde herself feeling Lindsay sliding her strap-on in.

Jennifer felt Victor’s cock, still inside her, stiffening already. Make than ten minutes.


Tara Reid was pleasantly plastered as she stumbled down the beach, not far from The Sweet Spot. She’d gone down on Kate Beckinsale half on a dare, and half out of the drink Ashley Judd had offered her for doing it. Tara was never one to turn down an (almost) free drink. Now, with a shooter of some kind in her hand, she slowly made her way along the beach, stopping occasionally to watch a couple or two having sex.

She had just about made it to the half-way point between The Sweet Spot and her destination, the Sex On the Beach bar, when she suddenly felt a little woozy. Stopping to sit at the edge of a ramp leading up to an empty life guard house, Tara tried to steady herself before moving on. It certainly wouldn’t be the first time she’d passed out on a beach – and, to be honest, it probably wouldn’t be the last.

She closed her eyes and tried counting to ten – normally, that would only take a second or two, but in her drunken state, Tara rarely made it past “4″ without stumbling a bit. She knew by the time she hit ten, she should feel well enough to move on. This time, as she lay on the ramp, she made it as far as “6″ before something happened.

Tara thought she felt something fall over her face, but couldn’t tell for sure. With some effort, she forced her eyes open, and discovered them blocked. She was about to say something when she was lifted off the ground.

“Whoa,” she managed to moan as she was lifted up the ramp and into the cooler confines of the lifeguard tower. She relaxed, figuring one of the lifeguards had found her half-drunk on his or her ramp, and decided to help her out. Smiling under whatever it was covering her face, Tara hoped that whoever they were, they were cute. Her pussy was dripping from the attention she’d given Kate earlier, and she’d happily fuck some lifeguard – be they male or female – until she got off.

Suddenly, Tara was put down face first on a couch. She giggled a little, and tried to tell the person that she’d rather lay on her back when she felt hands on her ass. She gasped at their touch, and tried to say something – unfortunately, with whatever it was covering her mouth, the best she could do was a slight moan.

And then her bikini bottom came off. Tara gasped again, and tried to move away from the hands, but they held her tight. A heartbeat or two later, and she felt the warm presence of a penis running down the length of her ass.

Tara realized she was about to be raped about a second before the penis slammed itself into her ass.

She screamed as pain ran through her body, trying alcohol-fried nerves as the man quickly pounded in and out of her ass. Every thrust felt like fire, every withdrawal even worse. Tara had allowed men to fuck her ass before – usually while she was drunk – but this was different. The only saving grace was that whoever he was used a lubricated condom, relieving some of the pain.

Tara blacked out halfway through the rape – just as her own body was starting to react to the sex, heating up her box anymore. Her drink-soaked brain gave up before orgasm could reach. When she awoke later, she had no idea how much time had passed.

But her attacker was gone, and so were her bikini bottoms.


“Honestly, who puts a dog collar in the middle of a fucking lake?”

“The same person who wants to see you in a wetsuit.”


As KMB and Rose discussed the strange location of the (replica) dog collar used by Jamie Pressly on Tara Reid in Harem 14, they examined the list for the next item. Rose, as always, held the list.

“Congratulations, the end is near; with just one more item, you’re in the clear. The pool scene is yours, if you know where to be looking; we’ll have sex on the beach…if you smell what I’m cooking? What the fuck does that mean?”

“If ya smelllllalalalalalow…no?”


“All that time in Malibu with Lita and you don’t know The Rock’s catchphrases?”

“Ken, that’s not real, remember?”

“Oh…I forget sometimes.”

“Yeah…the real mansion’s in Burbank.”

Rose grinned and headed off in the direction of the bar, leaving a speechless KMB on the sand.


The first class cabin was all Angelina and ‘Hater’s.

“Damn, you look hot in that getup. Now get over here and worship me. Now.”

Strutting across the cabin in tights, incredibly short tight skirt and halter top, ‘Hater knelt down and took Angelina’s feet in his hands. Whipped? Oh yeah.


Rachel Stevens and Jubilee checked out the eye candy as they had their drinks; both ladies’ eyes followed a particularly fine couple, Jubilee letting out a whistle at that departing behind. The male half turned and shouted “Thank you!”

“You’re welcome!” Jubilee lied, watching his girlfriend.

“Nothing wrong with meat now and then,” Rachel sniggered. “Why not try it? You might like it.”

“Yeah, and there’ll be male celebs at Spring Break next year.”

“Well, you turned me onto guys an’ gals,” Rachel pointed out. “Maybe I could introduce you to the joys of MF…”

“Never going to happen,” Jubilee replied.

“Then you’re never getting into my knickers again.”

Jubilee’s drink lost all taste. “But Rach…”

“But nothing. I don’t see why you should have all the fun. I want to be the one in charge for once.”


Susan gave her order to the waiter, and chuckled to herself. Maria would be on the line to her bosses, and it would be an exclusive for them, a treat for Susan, and a disaster for everyone else. Damn, she hated this island – she couldn’t turn around without seeing some cow who looked better than her having it off. Even the reporters were getting in on the action; conflict of interest, people! Out of the corner of her eye Susan could see Monita Rajpal from CNN happily burying her face between the legs of Lauren Graham, and closer to where she was sitting Sarah Chalke and Melissa George were playing with each other under the table – corporate synergy in action or what?

“Sodom and Gomorrah,” Susan Duff said under the breath. “And I just gave ET the fire and brimstone.”


Rachel Bilson liked being with Mischa a lot, but playing with Kate Garraway’s big boobies was something else. For her part, Kate was delighted with Rachel’s enthusiasm as she rubbed the young girl’s snatch, feeling it get moist and hot. The car was filled with their squeals as the two took time out from their duties – Rachel was due to host the evening concert, and Kate had to interview Louise Redknapp, wherever she was on this place. But first, she had a juicy young American to lick out.

“Are you coming over any time soon?” Kate asked as she wriggled down between Rachel’s legs.

“We… can fix something… are you sure you’ve never done this before?”

“What do YOU think?” And Kate moved her tongue onto Rachel’s cunt, as the other Rachel felt Louise Redknapp, the interview the last thing on her mind, do the same to hers, while watching Jubilee on her knees in front of Jamie.

“The things I do for her…” Jubilee thought as she took in Jamie Redknapp’s cock, telling herself it was actually a very, very, very big clit…


Carmella DeCasare was bent over at the waist, taking TRL’s cock deep inside her slit when Jodi Ann Paterson entered the office. Neither Carmella nor TRL were wearing pants – the cumbersome devices proving far too effective at preventing sex. TRL was still wearing his now-trademarked Hawaiian shit, while Carmella’s bikini top was pulled down enough to expose her 34 B tits to the cool air. They hadn’t been going at it long – maybe five or six minutes, from the moment Kim Smith had left the office and Carmella had entered.

Both Jodi and Carmella had enjoyed TRL – as they had enjoyed each other – but from the look on the older PMOY, she wasn’t here to make this quickie a threesome.

“There’s been another rape,” Jodi said without preamble.

“What?” TRL said, withdrawing his still rock-hard cock from Carmella’s snatch. “Who?”

“A very drunk Tara Reid. She’s in the infirmary right now,” Jodi said.

“Who knows?”

“Rachael, Shannon, and Melissa are keeping a lid on it, but Victoria knows, and so do Christina Aguilera and Mya.”

“How’d they find out about it?” Carmella asked, searching for her bikini bottoms.

“They were the ones who found her body inside a lifeguard tower with cum dripping out of her ass.”

“Her ass?” TRL asked. Carmella had a nasty feeling she knew what was coming next.

“She was anally raped. And Victoria’s royally pissed,” Jodi said.

“It never rains, it pours,” TRL muttered. “Bring Tara here. We’ll see if she spotted anything more about this guy than Kim did.”


Shawn Carter, formerly known as Jay-Z, at this very moment had 99 problems on his mind, but unlike his hit single from his swansong, The Black Album, the bitch was very much one of them.

Beyonce had been incommunicado for days now, and he was going insane trying to reach her. Of course, B going underground for days like this was nothing new to him, and he was sure once again, that that ‘Hater dude was once again behind it.

What on earth did she see in him, “Jigga” wondered. Why was he so special to B that she would pass up a multimillionaire and world famous rapper for some 21 year old nobody?

The voice from CNN, which was playing in the background, jogged him out of his reverie…

…and more reports from the CSSA island, where every hot female celebrity known is having the time of their lives…

”So that’s where she is,” he said to himself, boiling with rage, “Its time to take matters into my own hands.”

Picking up his cell, he was about to dial for one of his goons to dispose of this bitch-ass nigga called ‘Hater, but after a sudden change of heart, scrolled further down his address book to dial a different number.

He swore as, after 4 rings, the line he was calling switched to voicemal. “The bitch is probably on some photo shoot with some Spice Girl,” he laughed to himself.

”Yo Dame,” he said as he left a message for his best friend and longtime business partner, “I need you to have an alibi for me for the next few days, I’m off to go kill somebody.”


“How often does The Rock come here to sign autographs?” Jen asked as she admired the shirtless wrestler next to a pile of books.

“About as often as we look for things for this scavenger hunt,” Laura joked. Then it dawned on her. “You don’t think?”

“Worth a shot.” Jen looked over the nearly-forgotten list for the scavenger hunt, and saw that Rock’s autograph was the only thing they had not yet collected.

“Ladies, ladies,” Rock said, seeing the two bikini-clad beauties ambling towards him. “Here for the People’s autograph, are you? I can’t just give it to you, though. Strict orders from Victoria,” Rock couldn’t hide his grin as he thought about what Victoria had told him. “You have to earn it.”

Sore behinds and all, the two redheads ran across the sand towards the hotel pool, where Victoria had told the contestants to meet once they had gotten every item. Once there, they saw FD, Amber and a very distraught Natalie Portman. Not exactly the balloons, hot celebs and sex toys that Victoria had promised.

“What is it?” Laura asked, sitting down next to Natalie. She was quickly pushed away.

“It’s bad,” FD answered for her solemnly. “She says she was raped.”


“Hmph,” Sophia Bush snorted in indignation. “FD’s having plenty of fun with Amber in the elevator, but then stops before letting me join in. All because he heard some girl screaming in fear down the hall… like that’s worth foregoing sex over?”

“Didn’t you hear what happened?” Scarlett responded, sipping her drink. “There’s some sick pervert creep on the loose, FD just wanted to make sure Amber was safe.”

“How touching,” Sophia said with more than a hint of sarcasm. “Now that she is, he still can’t take the time to fuck me?” Scarlett cocked an eyebrow at the brunette’s bluntness. “Hey, you and Amber may have gotten some from him, but no one even knows who I am on this island, and I’m getting awfully horny…”

“Well, short of a cock, would an experienced tongue do the trick?” Scarlett whispered, leaning in so her mouth was right by Sophia’s ear. “Or do you want me to use the cell number he gave me and help get his priorities straight?”


If Sara Violet had been in that room, the rump-obsessed writer would have been in heaven; Lindsay and Hilary had switched places, and it was the redhead’s turn to feel the blonde thrusting her fist deep inside her stretched asshole. Gazing with delight at the girls, Victor stroked Jennifer’s toned behind as he slid his cock into it, sighing happily.

In between the two, Cindy kissed Jennifer over and over as she felt Lindsay’s tongue pressing into her butt, receiving the other woman’s gasps as Victor thrust away behind her and caressing Jennifer’s tits. As soon as they were through here, the two women would make like CSSA newbies and make an author request. Chances were he’d do it as well…


Victoria had her head in her hands as she sat in her office. This was supposed to be a fun week for everyone, and now some bastard was going around the island raping the celebs – Kim Smith, Tara Reid, Natalie Portman… Victoria almost wished she was dealing with lawyers again. At least with them it was only money.

She snatched up her phone on the first ring. Please God, she thought, don’t let it be another one…


Her heart beat normally again. Thank heaven, it wasn’t FD or Carnage or whoever – it was probably a request for an interview…

“Speaking,” she said cheerfully. “Yeah?… Well, I don’t usually do interviews… You what?… She said WHAT?!?… You want a comment? Here’s a comment. That is a fucking lie, every word of it, and if you even think about running it I will sue you out of existence, do you understand?!?” Victoria slammed the phone down, and then dialed another number.


“I was just about to call you,” he said. “I’ve been talking to Natalie, and she managed to remember something about the — ”

“I’ll be right down. And afterwards, I want you to get Duff off this island.”

“What? But Hilary – ”

“Not her, her mother. That bitch went and told ET that Cindy Crawford and I are pimps…”

Some fucking holiday this was turning out to be.


Headaches were not typically TRL’s thing. Generally, he preferred his mind unaltered, unaffected, and unbothered. Lately, that hadn’t been happening.

All three rape victims were sitting on the couch in the small room he was about to enter. As far as he knew, Kim, Tara, and Natalie were the only women attacked so far. But, then, each attack was a little different.

Kim had been raped in the middle of the forest, her attacker doing the standard intercourse routine on her. Tara had been taken in a lifeguard house and fucked up the ass, but otherwise, her story was relatively the same as Kim’s.

Natalie’s, unfortunately, was different. Way different.

Natalie Portman had been on her way to meet some friends at Sex on the Beach when she’d been grabbed from behind and hauled into the back of one of the few service vans on the island. Generally, only Victoria’s direct employees had access to those vans. Natalie’s attacker had closed the door behind her, ripped off her shorts, and plunged his member into her rather mercilessly. But, in another fact that differed from the earlier reports, the attacker hadn’t covered Natalie’s face – he’d hidden his own, allowing Natalie to get a good view of his muscular, dark arms.

As TRL waited for Victoria to catch up with him, he kept getting the feeling he was forgetting something. Something important.

“TRL?” Victoria said, coming up next to him. “What’s going on?” TRL quickly outlined the facts for Victoria.

“I’m missing something,” TRL said. “Who has access to the van keys, anyway?”

“Outside of a handful of authors, no men, I can tell you that,” Victoria said. “We barely have any male employees on the island. There are a couple of locals wandering about, but not -”

“That’s it!” TRL said, snapping his fingers.


“I need to find the crew from ET.”

“Yeah, tell them to leave me alone,” Victoria said. “And kick that elderly Duff off the island before I cram my fist down her throat.”

“Not that,” TRL said. “I need to speak with Maria Menounos about some dick she sucked.”


“Anyone up for a hike through the jungle?” Keira asked, wiping her mouth after dinner.

“I don’t think leaving the hotel would be a wise idea ladies,” Mr. F replied. “So far all of the rapes have taken place out there. Staying on the hotel grounds is a much safer proposition. I wouldn’t want to see anything bad happen to any of you.”

“That’s sweet and all Fantastic,” Eliza said. “But what makes you so sure the hotel is safe?”

“Well, for one, the hotel has a security team. Secondly, there are also security cameras. Even if the guy is masked, his body type would be recorded, narrowing down the suspects somewhat. Thirdly, it’d be hard to get into anyone’s room without a key. Whoever the guy is, he’d need a master key to get in to any of rooms.”

“Well, it does seem to make sense Eliza,” Elisha said, standing behind Mr. F. “Besides, there’s lots of fun to be had on hotel grounds. Safe fun too. Strength in numbers after all……”

“See, when you put it that way, how can anyone disagree?” Eliza asked playfully. “What kind of fun could be suggested?”

“My room has a hot tub in it,” Keira said with a smile.

“Well, that sounds like a sure fire recipe for fun, huh Mr. F?” Elisha asked, licking his ear lobe.

“Yes, of course,” he said with a smile as the ladies led him to the elevator.


TRL rushed through the crowds, asking anyone he could find about the whereabouts of Maria Menounos. Every reply was the same. No sight of the reporter.

“God dammit,” he said under his breath. He’d been searching for a while now, and had come up with absolutely nothing. And every second that passed, could have potentially been another second closer the the next rape. He had to act fast. He had to find the sicko and end the nightmare. But his only lead was no where to be found.

He was heading for the hotel, to see if by any chance anyone had seen Maria in there, when he heard a rustling in the bushes. The closer he got, the clearer it became the rustling was not a fun one. There was a struggle going on. On instinct, TRL leaped into the bush, hoping to stop the next crime before it could occur.


Any port in a storm, Rich Wilson thought. He had spent hours trying to find Liz Phair; not a sign of her anywhere. As if that wasn’t bad enough, he couldn’t find hide nor hair of Jubilee or Victor; he had expected Jubilee to be incommunicado (probably with her face between Rachel’s legs), but Victor couldn’t have struck lucky, even here. It wasn’t fair. Still, he had some steam to blow off, and so did the lady who had spotted him coming into the bar where she’d been abandoned like an hour ago. She’d dragged him over, they’d had a few drinks… a few more… a few more…

The stall was clean, and occupied by Rich slamming his sex-starved prick into his companion, pounding her against the wall over and over again as she sang out loud, keeping the notes restrained – it had been his one condition. Her thighs clamped around him, Rich Wilson was stunned at how soon he pumped his reserves of cum deep inside her. He could never say that Beyonce Knowles was too bootylicious for him now.

Any old port in a storm…


TRL hadn’t known exactly what he would find when he jumped into the bushes, looking for the struggle. He half imagined he’d find some man forcing himself on another woman. Then again, it might have just been two girls getting extra forceful in their lovemaking. Christina Aguilera already had a couple of complaints of being a little too eager to use her strap-on dildo to fuck some of the other girls.

As he crashed through the foliage, he heard some muffled screams, and pushed himself faster, hoping to get there in time.

And get there in time he did – just not to prevent a rape.

“You bitch, give me back that tape!”

TRL came screeching to a halt as he came across a half-naked Halle Berry struggling with Maria Menounos over a video tape. Halle, while topless, wore a simple black thong that seemed to be riding pretty far up her ass crack. Conversely, Maria wore a string bikini top and a skirt so short, her bare ass cheeks were revealed repeatedly.

“TRL!” Halle exclaimed as the girls spotted him. “Thank god you’re here. Tell this hussy that she can’t use that footage.”

“What footage?” TRL asked.

Maria managed to free the tape from Halle’s grip. “It’s footage of Halle giving Britney Spears a rim job,” Maria said. “I couldn’t use it on ET even if we were on HBO.”

“She’s right, Halle,” TRL said, trying to catch his breath. “You don’t need to worry about that.”

“But what if it gets out? I don’t want to be the next Paris Hilton,” Halle said.

“Maria, why do you need the tape if you can’t use the footage?” TRL asked.

“Before I shot Halle and Britney, I did my first report on Susan Duff’s accusations on the lesbian scandal brewing down here.”

“The lesbian scandal?” TRL said. “Is that what they’re calling it?”

“‘Fraid so,” Maria said.

“Maria, if I promise you an exclusive interview with Victoria, will you give Halle the tape?” TRL asked.

“Absolutely!” Maria said. “I’d love to speak with Victoria.”

“I’ll set it up,” TRL sighed, watching Maria hand the tape over the Halle.

“Thank you, TRL,” Halle said. “I owe you a blowjob.”

“Don’t think I won’t collect,” TRL muttered as Halle sauntered off. Both he and Maria admired Halle’s ass as she walked away.

“So, when do I get to talk to Victoria?” Maria asked.

“Soon,” TRL said. “But first, I need to talk to you about something else.”

“What?” Maria asked.

“A couple of guys you gave blowjobs to earlier today.”


Safely off the plane, Angelina and ‘Hater had been whisked off to their hotel; the Playmate who took them there warned them to stay inside – “Victoria’s orders.”

“How come?” ‘Hater asked.

“Someone’s going around raping the celebs; don’t want any more people added. You stay on base until this is all over.”

“Yeah. Is Bey here?” asked Angelina.

“Yep. She’s inside if she knows what’s good for her.”

Beyonce was inside, her memories of Rich fading fast – it had been more fun for him than for her; he was good, but no ‘Hater. As soon as he arrived, she was going to give him everything she had, and more… and then she saw the car pull up, and ‘Hater get out. Along with Angelina.

She hit boiling point, and flung her paper aside. Like she said, she was going to give him everything she had. And Jolie too.


Victor, Cindy, Jennifer, Lindsay and Hilary had all agreed to leave separately; the warnings hadn’t reached them because of all the time they had spent inside. Victor had left first, and the warmth of the early evening combined with his memories to leave him feeling so much better than he had earlier.

Lindsay had been the last to leave; she had told Hilary that it might be better if they waited until they were off the island before getting together again.

A strong arm clamped around her torso and dragged her into the bushes. Lindsay’s eyes bugged in horror as she tried to get herself loose, but whoever had her was too strong to resist. “HEL-” she tried to say, and that was all she could say before a hand clapped around her mouth.

“Time for you to learn a little lesson, mini-slut…”


Melissa, of the Joan Harts, had pulled over the golf cart and was animatedly talking on one of the island’s red carts. This left the man who had once written the Sorority and then gotten thoroughly outclassed by Celebrity College alone with Jessica Alba and Shannon Elizabeth, the latter of which was looking down between his legs.

The Hawaiian floral shorts niceness aside, there was only one real reason to look.

He kicked up his legs and rested them on the chair in front of him.

“So”, Shannon purred, managing to look the young man in the eye. “You come here to get your first taste of celebrity pussy?” He smiled, and shook his head.

“No?” Jessica looked at him. “I thought you said I was your favorite and you wanted me first.”

He sat up in the backseat. “That’s true. But last year at work…Eliza Dushku beat you to it.” Gasp. And also GASP.

“You fucked Duckshoot? Holy hell!” Elizabeth smacked his shoes. “Good for you!”

“How did you end up fucking Eliza at work?” Alba asked, confused.

And so he explained about working for a convention center and then doing the comic book convention he’d worked security. As he began to explain why he now got hard every time he heard “The Game of Love” –besides his Michelle Branch crush–he noticed the American Pie starlet ignoring every piece of advice Doug Llewelyn ever gave and beginning to take the law in her own hands under the flimsy blue bikini. It made him smile. Jessica just sort of looked him in the eyes, waiting for the punchline, but she began to realize his earnestness.

“Mmmm…that’s so hot. Did you like fucking her titties?” Another gasp, this time from another finger. Jessica watched this scene unfold in front of her with sweat beginning to dot her brow. “It was pretty hot.”

“I bet I know another pair of titties that’d like your cock to snuggle up in them.” And with that she stopped masturbating (BOO!) and took the top off (HOORAY!). “Now drop the shorts.”

One thing letting Eliza take charge of him last year had done: when celebrities told him to do something, he did. About ten inches hung off his body like a sherpa on Everest. Shannon cooed. She put her fingers to Jess’ mouth and Alba was beginning to jut her tongue out a little, just to catch a sample.

“You might fuck him last, Jess.” Shannon conceded, before grinning widely. “But my friends are going to welcome him to the island.” Her hands enclosed his unit, smearing pre-cum up and down. He began to moan and get a goofy smile on his face watching Shannon creep over his thighs. Sitting down on her abs, he tossed the Jordan jersey into the front seat and began to gyrate back and forth between the bountiful offering.

“There we go. Fuck ’em faster, you’re not going to leave a mark.” Jessica Alba sighed contentedly; she was fine with having to wait. And watching people fuck was just going to warm her up for what was to come. Mentally she began to prepare herself to take that thing later. A smile crept on her lips as she began to let her hand go where it had wanted to go.

A hand smacked it away. “I’ve got that. Sit on my face.”

Jessica Alba smiled down at the moaning Shannon. “You don’t HAVE–”

Shannon grabbed her by the thighs and pushed away at her bikini bottom, sliding her tongue around the Dark Angel’s clitoris like a popsicle. “–NEVER MIND.” He took a look at her now. He was so close to fucking her. But later. Right now, he was almost fucking her through Shannon, and his hips provided the fulcrum of pleasure. Shannon was moaning and trying to say something. Hrrmmrr! Frrmrr!

He took a guess and kept coming.

“Oh! Shannon! Lick it all up! You’re going to make me come all over my bikini! YES!”

That did it. He stood up and unloaded–mostly all over the rack of breast he’d just enjoyed. His head involuntarily rolled back as the hottest thing he’d ever seen made him turn fuck into a nine-syllable word. Jessica slid off of Shannon and down into the seat, while Shannon gasped for air. Grabbing Jessica by the hair, she forced her into her chest.

“You’ll be drinking that up soon enough and long enough.” she said with a smile to their companion. “Suck Momma’s titties.” Jessica noisily slurped around her right breast as Shannon brought her hand up to play with his balls.

“So, Starfucker, did big bad Faith let you FUCK HER IN THE ASS?” His mouth dropped to basement level.

Sweaty, he looked over at a grim-faced Melissa getting back in the driver’s seat.

“Fun aside, you guys…” she said, kicking the funmobile into gear.

“We’ve got a problem.”


‘Twas a sight to break any heart -a solitary Beyonce Knowles, trudging barefoot by the beach just after sunset, tears streaming down her angelic face.

She’d managed to sneak out after dinner – no one was supposed to be out after hours due to some sicko who was supposedly going round raping everybody, but she just needed some time alone, some time to let off some steam. How could this be happening to her?

True, things hadn’t been as rosy between she and Hater over this past year – his move to England, coupled with her own impossible schedule, meant they had less and less time for each other. Looking back, she wished she had seen the signs that suggested they had begun to grow apart, and perhaps she shouldn’t have agreed to the idea that they begin to see other people causally. But she assumed Hater’s heart belonged to her and only her. Could she have been wrong?

She totally ignored her ringing phone (couldn’t that Jay-Z guy take the hint and stop pestering her with phone calls?) as she once again recalled the sight of Hater with that Angelina bitch, which had almost torn her heart to shreds. He had totally ignored her, looking at her with barely a flicker of recognition on his face, as he followed Angelina like a puppy dog, obviously smitten, to her hotel room or wherever it is that she went.

Clenching the pepper spray tightly in her hand (of course she wasn’t dumb enough to go out without any form of protection), she thought about the past 2 or so days she had been on the island, and how little she’d been able to enjoy herself, with the thought of the possible loss of ‘Hater on her mind. Sure, she’d caught jungle fever and gone off with that charming Brit she’d picked up, who wasn’t half bad, but not the same. The gorgeous Roselyn Sanchez had been eyeing her lecherously all through dinner, and while she’d normally jump at it under any circumstances, the thought barely even crossed her mind.

It happened in a flash of lightning. Before she knew what was going on, she was being held in a vice-like grip, while a set of coarse hands covered her face. She thought she was going to choke from the musky smell which engulfed her nose, and she could feel her attacker’s rising manhood rising against her ass.

She hadn’t learned self defense for nothing. She pretended to stop struggling for a while, and all of a sudden, reached for her tormentor’s head, and in no time, the attacker found himself on the floor.


It had been an hour since they had all left their little tryst-spot, and the women hadn’t seen many people out now that night had arrived. Cindy had thought it would be really buzzing; there were the odd couple in sight here and there, but it looked as if all the fun had gone when the sun went down. She shrugged, and fished out her phone; maybe Victoria or one of TRL’s Playmates could sort out what had happened.

BEEP BEEP! Around the corner, chugging towards Cindy, came one of those cute little Mini-Moke things. Cindy brightened – she could use that to take her to the main area, hunt up Victoria personally… it sped up, and didn’t even try to stop as it approached her. As Cindy watched, someone jumped out of the MM, and the driver shouted something as it drove away. “What the HELL…?!” she yelled, ignoring the receding car as she ran over to whoever it was, just lying there in the road.

“What were you trying to do there, kill yourself?” Cindy shouted as she joined the prone figure. Now that she was up close, she could see that the woman was lying there crumpled, as if she hadn’t jumped – she’d been thrown. Praying that she was wrong, Cindy gingerly reached down and turned the unconscious woman’s head.

“OHMYGODNO! NO!! NOOO!!!!” Cindy screamed on seeing the battered face of Lindsay.


“So I gave two guys a blowjob. How is that a problem?” Maria Menounos asked as she and TRL entered the main hotel building on the island.

“There’s nothing wrong with blowjobs,” TRL said, “Rather the problem is who you gave them to. See, aside from authors, the number of male employees on the island is rather small. In fact, Victoria went out of her way to make sure most of the locals weren’t around while we came by.”

“But the guys I did were clearly locals,” Maria said. “I mean, they were two island men with huge rods! They certainly didn’t come from somewhere else!”

“I need descriptions of those two, Maria. There’s a chance that one or both of them are behind the series of rapes going on here.”

“Oh my gawd,” Maria said, her Boston accent leaking through a bit.

“TRL! TRL!” A new voice intruded in on the two. TRL and Maria turned to see Shannon Elizabeth running down the hallway towards her. “We’ve got a huge problem!”

“Not another rape,” TRL said.

“No. Worse,” Shannon said. “There’s a giant storm moving in. The Weather Channel says it’s one step down from a hurricane!”

“It never rains, it pours,” TRL muttered, before realizing the irony in his choice of words. “We need to get everyone off the island, and now.”

“We can’t,” Shannon said. “All planes are grounded, and the boats are refusing to try to make the trip. TRL, the weather guys are saying this storm could last a couple of days! And now we’re all trapped on this island!”

“I need to see Victoria,” TRL said. “Shannon, find Melissa, Rachael, Jodi, and Carmella. Have them speak to every guest on the island and inform them of the situation. And find Susan Duff! That bitch is getting off this island if I have to throw her in a barrel and throw her off this island myself.”

“TRL! TRL!” A fourth voice called out. This time, it was Carmella DeCasare. “We’ve got a huge problem!”

“Not another one,” TRL muttered.

“Lindsay Lohan’s been attacked!”


Tropical Storm Michelle had her beady little eye set on Victoria’s Island, and the way it was traveling across the seas no one was betting against it hitting hurricane status. The only good thing about it was that TRL, Carnage and Victoria soon confirmed most of the celebs were indoors, and those that weren’t were being located fast.

Dr. Blasphemy had finally lived up to his name, and had finished tending to Lindsay’s injuries. “Someone really wanted you out of the way,” he muttered as he put the last few stitches in her cheek – as if the two broken fingers, three cracked ribs, broken leg, fractured jaw and both eyes purple and puffed weren’t enough. It was amazing that whoever did this hadn’t killed her.

“Who did this?” a shattered Hilary begged.

“Leave her alone, Hill,” the good doctor suggested. “Let her rest.”

“No…” Lindsay mumbled, unable to talk clearly through the tubing in her mouth and the setting her jaw was in. “Iiiihhhh… iiiiiwaffff…” Hilary, Cindy, TRL and Victoria all leaned forward – they had all insisted on being with Lindsay, and Dr. B hadn’t tried to argue.

“Iii… two…”

“Lindsay, did you get anything else about these fuckers? Anything at all?”

Lindsay nodded, and pointed to Cindy with a “You and…”. And to the TV screen behind them. And to Hilary with a “…each…”

“What? I was on TV? Yeah, we all were…”

“No, wait,” Victoria interrupted. “Cindy was on TV with one of them?”

Lindsay nodded, finding it harder to speak. “….ornin…”

She closed her eyes; the drug Dr. B had given to help her rest had taken effect. “Come on,” Dr. B said gently, beckoning the others. “She’ll be out until the morning, at least. You can talk to her then… Cindy, what is it?”

Realizing what she’d said, Cindy looked as if she had been hit by a truck. “On TV in the morning… and then Hilary on the beach… oh baby Jesus…”

“What, you know who did this?”

Cindy nodded. “It was that woman from British morning TV. She and – ”

“My mom,” Hilary finished in horror, before realizing they were short one.

“Ohmygod… where’s Jenny?!”


“Nice room Ms. Knightley,” Mr. F said, walking in behind the women.

“Thanks,” she replied, sitting down on the bed. “I wanted to go all out in staying here.”

“Believe me you did,” Elisha said. “My room is no where near this big.”

“Yeah, same here,” Eliza said, examining the hot tub. “Though it’d probably be more fun to do this out in the open of the pool downstairs…”

“Eliza, ANYTHING outside the hotel is no longer safe for anyone,” Mr. Fantastic said, leaning against the wall. “As if that sicko fuck rapist wasn’t enough, now there’s a storm or something coming in. Best place for any fun is the hotel, like it or not.”

“He is right Ms. Dushku,” Keira said, getting up. “So why not just make the most of it?” With the end of that sentence, Keira got directly in Eliza’s face and placed a delicate kiss on her lips. That kiss turned into another, deeper kiss, and before long the two were rolling around on Keira’s king size bed, fondling and licking each other.

“Well,” Elisha said, squeezing Mr. F’s hand. “Looks like we got first dibs on the hot tub.”


Scarlett Johansson sighed in pleasure, slipping off of Sophia Bush’s face and back onto the bed. She lay there, her large breasts heaving and her hair spread out over the pillow, and watched as FD continued to fuck Sophia. “YES!” Sophia yelled, her brown hair matted to her face by her own sweat and Scarlett’s cum. “Keep fucking me!”

Since Sophia wasn’t comfortable with the prospect of solely girl-on-girl action, Scarlett had called the number on the slip of newspaper in her pocket and invited FD up to their room. Within minutes, it had devolved into a passionate ménage-a-trois, with Sophia in the middle. But now that Scarlett had cum, it left the two remaining participants to their own devices – namely, fucking like there was no tomorrow.

Ignoring her impassioned cry to continue, FD instead withdrew and picked Sophia up by her ass and lower back, turning her around and placing her on her hands and knees on the bed. She looked back at him, her brown eyes filled with lust. “Where do you want to fuck me?” she asked in a hoarse voice, exhausted and out of breath from being fucked with her head beneath Scarlett’s pussy.

“Well, I was GOING to keep fucking that soaking-wet pussy of yours, but if you’re open to other ideas…” FD aimed his cock at her asshole, pushing the head gently between her ass cheeks.

“I just want to cum…” she moaned, FD already applying pressure and sliding his cock slowly into her ass. “Ow… owowow!” she grimaced, clearly a rookie at anal sex. FD stopped, but she shook her head. “If you think you can make me cum, do it.”

FD gritted his teeth and slowly pulled Sophia back towards him, amazed at the tightness as he impaled her on his cock. Once he was all the way in, he slipped a hand down to her pussy, fingering her as he began fucking her ass.

Within minutes, it was working. Sophia was back on the brink of orgasm, moaning loudly at the feeling of a cock in her ass and fingers in her pussy. She let out a loud, heavy sigh as she finally came, her ass clenching down on FD’s cock and squeezing out his cum, as well.

“Shit,” Sophia said, rolling onto her back as FD laid down next to Scarlett, who was smiling at the show they’d just put on. “You mind giving me your number, too?”

FD shook his head, dialing up his room at the hotel on the phone next to where he was lying. A female voice answered. “Amber? It’s me… how are you?” he asked.

“I’m fine,” Amber Tamblyn’s voice responded. “Actually, I was just about to slip into the Jacuzzi and see if it eases the pain in my ankle.”

“I’ll be right down to join you, then.” FD hastily put on his clothes and scribbled his cell number on the pad of hotel stationery for Sophia, and then hurried back to his room.


“Hey Amber, you down here?” FD asked, walking into the pool area.

“Yeah,” Amber said. “Over in the jacuzzi.” FD walked towards her, slipping his flip-flops off and putting them to the side of the hot tub.

“How’s that ankle?” he asked, slowly easing into the hot water.

“A lot better. Still a little sore to walk on, but the pain isn’t screaming out anymore.”

“That’s great. You should be walking normally in no time.”

“Yeah, and it’s thanks to you.”

“Me? No Amber, it’s healing because it was a little injury. I just got you back to the hotel.”

“Yeah, but you came with me. You didn’t want me to be alone….not to mention the little thing the elevator…you’re just great.”

“Hey, it’s something anyone would have done.”

“Yeah, but you did it….” Amber leaned in and kissed FD, grazing his lips with her tongue as she pulled back. “And I think you need to be shown my full appreciation.” She moved back from FD a bit and reached under the water. When her hands arose again, her bathing bottoms were in them. FD watched in awe as she tossed the out of the pool and came over to him, tugging on his trunks when she got close. “These might be an obstacle…”

“Huh? Oh yeah, right.” With a quick movement, FD reached under the water and helped Amber pull his trunks to his ankles. Amber grabbed his cock in her hand and slowly lowered herself onto him, both of them letting out a smiling sigh when he was all the way in.

FD grabbed Amber’s hips and begin to lift her up and down, feeling her grind against him randomly when she was brought down. Amber draped her arms around FD’s neck as they fucked, low moans randomly merging from both their throats.

FD slowly ran his hand up her body, caressing the small of her back as he moved to her top, slowly pull the first strings, then moving up to the nape of her neck, undoing that one, and watching in awe as her top fell between them, exposing her breasts to him. He leaned his face in and began to lick and nibble on her nipples, bringing a loud moan from Amber as she through her head back and smiled. She dug her nails into his back as she began to take more control now dictating the action. She began to rise and fall on FD faster and faster, both of them getting lost in the moment.

“God yes…fuck…so fucking good…don’t stop FD…keep going…so closssssssssse,” Amber hissed, trying to keep her mind grounded. FD wanted to reply, but he was too focused on the task at hand, as well as staving off his impending orgasm.

“So good…you wanna cum don’t you…cum inside me FD…cum inside meeeeeeeee,” Amber groaned as her back stiffened, and her orgasm rocked over her body. Not having a reason to hold off anymore, compounded with the spasms of Amber’s pussy FD growled as he let loose inside Amber, throwing his head back as he shot his load inside of her.

“Holy shit,” FD mumbled, coming down.

“The feeling’s VERY mutual,” Amber said with a wry smile. “Wanna head to the restaurant, grab a bite?”


“You know Mr. F, as much as I’d like the hot tub…why not go someplace a bit more private?” Elisha asked, still holding his hand.

“What do you mean?” he asked in reply.

“Well, I’d kind of like to have you all to myself, at least once today. That is of course, unless you mind. I’m sure I could find someone else interested in some simple one on one….”

“No, that’s okay. I’d like some privacy as well. Just you and I.”

“Great. Then let’s head to your room,” Elisha said with a smile, taking him by the hand and heading out the door.


Jennifer Garner’s cell phone (or mobile, as the Brits say for some reason) kept ringing and ringing and ringing. “Come on,” Hilary begged as she listened in, “where are you?!”

The worst thing was, they couldn’t even go outside to look for her; Shannon Elizabeth had just brought the bad news from the Weather Channel. Tropical Storm Michelle was now Hurricane Michelle – and in the words of Fred Sanford, this was a big one, baby…


Jennifer Garner’s mobile (or cell phone, as the Americans say for some reason) kept ringing and ringing and ringing. She was in no position to answer it. That’s because the position was on her back.

When Victor had left their assignation earlier, he had found a message from Jubilee waiting for him in reception, inviting him round to her suite to join a couple of friends – she also made the invitation an open one. He waited, oh, about two seconds before going back upstairs, promising to ask the first one he saw leave.

One asking and one eager acceptance later, he was on the top floor of the main hotel, meeting and greeting Rachel Stevens and Louise Redknapp. And feeling glad he had brought industrial-strength condoms. Thus, from the floor Louise watched her husband happily grinding away on top of Jennifer, while feeling her fellow Brit chanteuse kissing her pregnancy-swollen tits and stroking Rachel’s lovely dark cunt.

“That should be me there,” Jubilee sulked.

“How do you think I feel?” Victor asked, studying the footballer’s wife’s round little ass. “But I know what we can do while we’re waiting…”


“Oh, come on Jube,” Rachel murmured. “You liked it the first time.”

“Well…” Jubilee mused, studying Victor’s crotch and unzipping the trousers. “I guess if I have to fuck a fellow writer it might as well be you.”

And then Jennifer’s phone switched to answering machine mode. No one heard Hilary’s frantic message.


“Damn, you weren’t kidding,” Elisha laughed, looking at the cramped quarters of Mr. Fantastic’s hotel room.

“Yeah, we writers got screwed, and the celebrities got all of the better rooms here. Except for a couple of the writers – Carnage and TRL got suites, and I don’t know where KMB is actually staying but I saw him coming out of Victoria’s room. But, uh… sorry about the room.”

“Don’t be,” Elisha said, leaning in to whisper sexily in his ear. “All we need is a bed.”

And with those words, Elisha Cuthbert grabbed a handful of the front of Mr. Fantastic’s shirt, pulling him with her to the bed. She fell backwards onto it, pulling him into a deep kiss…

…before pulling her head away and cursing, “FUCK, why did you have to leave the window open?” With the storm intensifying outside, almost horizontal rain was entering through the window and landing on the bed. Elisha had laid down on a spot on the bed that was absolutely soaked. As Mr. F stood up to let her off the wet bed, his eyes ventured down to her chest. “God bless Mother Nature,” he murmured. Elisha’s white shirt was wet enough from the rain so that he could see her erect nipples poking through, her gorgeous breasts unconfined by a bra.

“Well, looks like you’ve gotten a peek,” Elisha said. “I can’t leave the room this way, so either you’re laying on that puddle of a mattress with me on top, or it’s the floor for both of us.” With that, the blonde peeled off her wet t-shirt, giving the CSSA writer an unobstructed view of her C-cup breasts.

Mr. F hurriedly stripped down himself. “The floor it is,” he told her, helping her lay down on the carpeted floor. As she started to unbutton her jeans, Mr. F brushed her hand away and tugged her pants off himself, along with the simple red panties she’d worn.

Without a word, he positioned himself on top of her and glided his cock into her pussy. Elisha groaned and spread her legs to accommodate him, crossing them behind his back and locking him into place. “You think you could grab me a pillow?” she moaned, kissing him softly.

“Huh? Oh, yeah, sorry,” Mr. F. apologized, grabbing a pillow off the bed and sliding it under Elisha’s head.

“Thanks… the floor’s harder than I thought it would be,” Elisha said, using her leg muscles to pull him into her again. “Feel free to start fucking me, I’m not gonna be the one doing all the work here.”

Mr. Fantastic nodded, and began thrusting into Elisha, causing her to moan sharply. “That’s more like it,” she gasped as he slammed his cock into her harder.

“You like to be fucked hard, Elisha?” he asked, leaning in to suck on one of her large tits.

“YES! Now FUCK ME!” she screamed, the feeling of his cock inside her just too tantalizing to stand.

Mr. F rose one hand in a mock salute, “Yes ma’am,” before placing it on the floor above her shoulder and starting to really give it to her.

After only a few minutes, Elisha’s moans and groans had turned to all-out screams of delight, and she arched her back, grinding herself into Mr. F, as she came. “Cum in me!” she groaned as she came down from her orgasm, knowing her partner was close as well.

Grunting in pleasure as he emptied himself into Elisha’s pussy, Mr. F collapsed on top of her, kissing her passionately, with no intention of leaving the room, or the floor for that matter, any time soon.

Mr. F now laid on his back, Elisha on top of him, the two merely kissing and holding each other in the after orgasm glow. While nibbling on his earlobe, Elisha noticed his phone flashing.

“Mr. F,” she whispered into his ear. “Phone’s ringing. Or flashing. Why is it flashing and not ringing?”

“I hate wake-up calls,” he replied. “Flashing light won’t wake you up rudely.”

“You can’t get wake-up calls you don’t want.”

“Yeah, but wrong numbers can still be dialed.” Elisha slowly removed her self from him, kissing his chest as she moved to sit next to him as he answered the phone. “Moe’s Tavern, where the elite meet to drink. Oh, hey FD.”

“It’s FD?” Elisha whispered. “What’s he up to?”

“I’ll find out Heesh,” Mr. F replied. “What’s going on FD? WHAT? Shit…you’re right, strength in numbers. Meet you two down in ten. Are Sophia and Scarlett safe? In the room locked? Good. Do me a favor and have Joe go and check on Eliza and Keira. Thanks.”

“What’s wrong Mr. F?”

“FD found out that the rapist might be in the hotel.”

“Oh my…”

“Don’t worry, I ain’t leavin’ your side. But we’re going to go meet up with FD and Amber downstairs, then we’re moving on to either yours or Amber’s room.”

“Why can’t we stay here? Isn’t it safer?”

“No. The rapist somehow gets in here, less room for me, and more importantly you, to maneuver. Less of a chance of escape. You said it yourself, the celebs have the bigger rooms. Better chance of escape…”

“Or more room for him to be hiding.”

“No one’s gonna lay a finger on you. Not if they want leave this island walking. Let’s go meet up with FD and Amber.”

“All right,” Elisha replied, taking hold of Mr. F’s hand. “Let’s get dressed first.”

“Fine,” he replied. “Here, wear this.” Mr. F reached into his drawer and pulled out a grey shirt with a black bat-symbol on it. “May be a little big, but it’s dry…and you look hot in it.”

“Thank you,” Elisha replied with a smile, putting the shirt on, tying it so her stomach was exposed. As soon as they were dressed, Mr. F picked up his acoustic and they walked out of his room.

“What’s the guitar for?” Elisha asked as she stuck close to him, walking down the hall.

“Oh you know, play a few songs, knock some fucker out if he so much as look at ya wrong. Usual stuff.”

“Wow. Willing to go all out for me?”

“What, just because a guy reads comics, he can’t throw down?” Mr. F said with a smile.


“Where are they FD?” Amber said worriedly. “Do you think anything happened?”

“I hope not,” FD replied sternly. “If they’re not down in the next five minutes, we go up without them, and don’t come out till this whole thing is over.”

“We can’t leave them out here FD.”

“I don’t like it anymore than you. But Mr. F is with her, so Elisha is somewhat safe.”

“FD!” Mr. F yelled from the elevator. He and Elisha walked out and headed towards the bar. “You call Joe?”

“Yeah, he, Mandy, and Liz are on the way up to check on Keira and Eliza,” FD said.


“Dude, what’s with the guitar?”

“Oh, you know, figured I’d play a power ballad or two, then if anyone tries to touch either of these to, I’ll play Paul Stanley, and the asshole’s head will be the stage.”

“Isn’t that sweet?” Elisha said sarcastically, kissing Mr. F on the cheek.

“Yeah, I’m a sentimental wuss. Now let’s get going. Whose room?”

“Mine’s all the way at the top, so if we had to make an escape via stairs, we’d be screwed,” Amber said.

“Mine’s just on the fifth floor,” Elisha said.

“Well, looks like we’re crashing with Elisha,” FD said.

“Indeed it does.”

“Let’s go,” Elisha said. Both women stood between the two guys as they headed for the elevator, and then to Elisha’s room.


“Jen, I thought we agreed on no toys,” Laura moaned, breaking the passionate kiss.

“We did,” Jen answered, raising her head to kiss Laura’s lips. They were on Laura’s bed, both topless with Laura on top.

“Then what’s that vibrating?” Laura asked, giggling as she started kissing Jen’s massive breasts. Jen reached into her jeans pocket and pulled out…

“My PHONE, maybe?” She sighed, then answered it. “Hello? Shit, no! Really? Fuck! Yeah, we’ll be there. See ya.” She hung up and got off the bed, grabbing Laura’s wrist.

“Whoa, where are we going?”

“Elisha’s room. Come on!”

With that, the two topless redheads bolted from Laura’s bedroom and started the trek to Elisha’s.


As Hurricane Michelle bore down on Victoria’s Island, two guests were more than happy to hide out in their room, waiting for it to blow over. With their lights out, and no sound in the room save for heavy breathing and moaning, Kate Beckinsale and Ashley Judd finally got around to doing what they came to the island to do in the first place.

Make love.

Ashley lay atop Kate’s sweat-soaked body, the two of them slowly calming down from the Earth-shattering orgasms they’d just shared. Naked in what little light made it into the room from outside, Kate thought Ashley looked like an angel. A soaking wet, erotic angel who’s chin was covered in girl cum, but an angel nonetheless.

“I’ve wanted this since we first met,” Ashley said, gently playing with Kate’s nipple. “You’ve turned me on so much, I can’t remember when I’ve been this horny.”

“I feel the same way,” Kate replied, slipping her fingers into Ashley’s sopping wet pussy. “You’re so beautiful, Ashley, I don’t know how I made it through the day without fucking you senseless.”

“I do,” Ashley giggled as she pinched Kate’s nipple harder. “Tara Reid.”

“And you fucked Kim Smith,” Kate pointed out. “Turnabout is fair play.”

“Kate, we’re married movie stars engaging in lesbian sex that our husbands know all about. I think just about everything on this island is fair play.”

“Good,” Kate said, suddenly pushing Ashley off her and rolling over on top of the other woman. “Then you won’t mind if I ram my fingers in and out of your cunt while you eat my pussy again.” Without waiting for an answer, Kate swung her legs up over Ashley’s face, pressing her lower lips to Ashley’s mouth.

For the record, Ashley didn’t mind it at all.

And neither did the person secretly spying on the two lovers.


“What’re you looking at out there Mr. F?” Elisha asked.

“Checking for any abnormal movements,” he replied. “Might be the sicko…..”

“Calm down,” Elisha said softly, turning Mr. F around to face her. “The door is locked with the deadbolt and chain. FD and Amber are in the main room on the couch. I’m willing to bet if he gets in, they’ll at least make a noise. And if somehow he gets in here, I am certainly not worried. How was it you put it, you’ll play “Paul Stanley”, and his head’ll be the stage?”

“Yeah, but still, someone’s out there hurting people…”

“And you can’t do a thing about it but be here and make me feel safe. He’s gonna get caught, so don’t worry about it. He won’t get through the front door. If he does, FD is out there. And like you said, more room to maneuver in the bigger room. We’re good.”

“But…” that was all he managed to get out before Elisha kissed him.

“But nothing, okay? Damn, you’re tense as Hell.”

“Well, situations like this tend to make one nervous.”

“Well, it’s just you and me in here, and I don’t think any noise made will disturb Ms. Tamblyn and FD, if they’re not already lost in their own little world……”

“Are you implying what I think you are?”

“Well, we did have sex on the floor of your room, why not repeat that, but on something a bit more comfortable?” Elisha led Mr. F to a comfy lounge chair in her room and sat him down. “Now, let Elisha take away all that tension.” She slowly, teasingly removed her pants and underwear, leaving her only in the loose-fitting t-shirt Mr. F had loaned her. Elisha walked over to him and undid his pants, pulling them to his ankles. She took his hands and placed them to her, palm to palm as she straddled him and slowly lowered herself onto his cock. “Mmmm, can’t you just feel that tension fade?”

“Fuckkkk…yes…” Mr. F managed to get out before moving his face to kiss Elisha’s neck. Elisha took her hands and began to rifle through his hair.

“Good, just let it all go…Elisha will make you forget all about it…” she said in a moan. She began to grind into Mr. F, biting her lip to keep her volume under control, as to not disturb FD and Amber.

As their pace slowly increased, Mr. F began to thrust up into Elisha, meeting her for everything she had. “Getting into it big time now are we Mr. F?” she said with a smile.

“You know, better late than never,” he replied with grunt as he playfully slapped her ass. He then moved his hand between them, pushing his shirt aside, and began to stroke her clit, clockwise, then counter, and back again. Elisha increased her pace and her breathing. She was approaching her crescendo, and it would hit soon. She arched her back and leaned backwards when it hit her.

Forgetting any need to hold back her voice, she let out a loud, “FUCK! GOD YES!!!” as the wave hit her. And with a few more thrusts, Mr. F let out a loud man and shot his load into Elisha for the second time that night.

“Feel better now?’ Elisha asked with a smile as she pulled herself up to Mr. F’s face.

“Oh yeah, no more tension,” he replied, flashing her a smile back.

“Great. Hate to have you be a gloomy ass the rest of the break.” She got off of Mr. F and went to the bathroom to clean up. “Mind if I keep this shirt?” she asked through the door.

“Go ahead, knock yourself out.”

“Thank you,” she said, walking out of the bathroom, stopping to slide her panties back on. “I do look hot in it after all, right?”

“Hottest on the island.”

“Aww, that’s sweet. You’re cute when you’re unapologetically sucking up. Wanna go see what Amber and FD are doing to calm their nerves?”

“Nothing like crashing a party.”


“Who’s staying in this room again?” Mandy asked as she, Voodoo, and Liz walked down the hall.

“Well, it’s Keira Knightley’s room,” Joe said, checking the room numbers to make sure he got to the right one. “But Eliza Dushku’s in there with her, and Mr. F asked FD to ask me to check on them, see if they’re all right. Let’s see…this is the one.” The group stopped and Joe knocked on the door. It slowly creaked open.

“Who’s there?” a cute British voice asked.

“Oh, just Voodoo Joe. Just checking up on you, seeing if everything’s all right.”

“Voodoo Joe?” Keira asked with delight. “Why didn’t you say so? Come in, bring your friends too. I think we’ll all have a smashing time. There’s a hot tub in here you know…”


Jubilee and Victor helped each other undress, Victor being slightly more enthusiastic about what was being revealed than Jubilee. Accompanied by Louise’s cries as Rachel kissed her pregnancy-swollen breasts, the two writers kissed, Jubilee nervously pressing her body close to Victor’s and feeling his prick stiffen at the contact – the young woman wasn’t disgraced compared to the more famous ladies in the large room (Jubilee’s links to Rachel and Keira had snagged her a larger suite than most writers).

Victor felt Jubilee’s decent-sized jugs as she mounted him – “I don’t like being underneath,” she smiled. “Not even for Rachel.”

“Control freak,” Rachel laughed as she thrust her tongue into Louise’s cunt, stroking the blonde’s gently swelling stomach. Rachel liked tasting Jubilee, but there was an extra thrill in going down on a 100%-straight woman… especially when it was someone like Louise. The brunette delicately licked around inside Louise, listening to the innocent-faced FHM model and part-time pop singer groan some very un-cute language as she felt Rachel’s tongue play with her clit.

Jubilee’s hands slid over Victor’s dark body as she enjoyed his hands playing with her breasts; she clasped her fingers around his cock and felt the meat under the skin, before lightly biting his chest as she started down. “You can pretend I’m Jen or Sara if you want…” he managed to say as he listened to Louise’s cries on the left and saw Jennifer Garner’s legs shooting straight up in the air with Mr. Louise pumping between them on the right. Damn, he wanted another shot at her…

“No, I think I can make it this time,” she replied, and took a taste of Victor’s balls; she rolled them on her tongue and lightly sucked them, before kissing the uncut top of his cock and moving in for the kill. For someone who had only sucked it once before in her life, Jubilee wasn’t half bad; she moved her head along the length gingerly at first, but then moved further and further along each time, tasting and swallowing Victor’s first come-drops. Jubilee tried to tell herself she didn’t like it, but Rachel hadn’t thought she’d like eating pussy either. And if someone like her could try both kinds and like it… Jubilee took Victor’s prick all the way inside, thinking it could be worse. At least he didn’t inform all and sundry about his sexual inclinations at every chance the way some writers did.

“Aaaaaa… mmmm… not bad…” Victor groaned as he held Jubilee’s head, feeling himself dripping into her throat. “Come on… ” But Jubilee’s sucking just wouldn’t stop. He couldn’t believe she’d gotten a taste for the juice – “You really want to swallow it?”

Jubilee slurped her head back and shook it, both looking at his shining cock. Still on top, she moved back up and put her open snatch above the rod. “This isn’t happening again, so make the most of it…” Louise had her eyes closed as she enjoyed Rachel’s hungry mouth, or she could have seen Jubilee’s butt (with Victor’s hands gripping it) in front of her face. Both writers loudly moaned as Victor’s cock sank into Jubilee, the lady feeling a real prick inside her for the first time in her life. Jubilee thrust herself up and down on top of him, enjoying the ride as she felt his fingers sliding into her soft, cute bum.

Poking up deep inside her, Jubilee let herself fall forward, her breasts squashing against Victor, and they held each other as he shot his cream into her snatch, their yells drowning out the second message on Jennifer’s phone…


“Jennifer? It’s Cindy. I don’t know if you got Hilary’s first message, but Susan Duff and that British bitch beat up Lindsay, and there’s some freak going around raping the celebs who got into the hotel. If you get this message, call back as soon as you get it, and for God’s sake if you’re in the hotel STAY THERE!”

Cindy hung up, and returned to Lindsay’s side – the teenager was still asleep, but she and Hilary had sworn to stay with her no matter what. Both ladies had their fallen friend’s hands, clutching them as if she was going to fly away. They sat there, not saying anything – a silence shattered by a phone ringing.

“It’s mine – Hello? Jennifer?” Hilary asked hopefully.

“I heard about Lindsay… too bad,” Susan said on the other end.

“She’s going to be okay.”

“That’s what I meant. I heard about the rapist as well; things just get better and better around here. Think you could put Moleface on?”

“Why should I?”

“Just do it.”

Hilary handed the phone to Cindy, who listened intently with the odd “But…” Her face sank as she listened, finally said “Okay, I’ll tell them,” and hung up, before calling TRL. “Hi… I just got a call from Hilary’s mom.” The brunette then held the phone away from her ear as TRL’s extensive swearing poured forth from it. “Yeah, I know… it’s just that Susan wants to make a deal.”

“Like that fat cow’s in any position to – ”

“Remember the scavenger hunt? Susan and Kate added one more item – the pictures she told ET about. We find them before sunrise, she’ll get off the island and we go back to sun, sea and sex.”

“So they’re somewhere in the hotel?”

“They could be,” Cindy told him as the hurricane’s winds swept over the building. “Or they could be somewhere outside.”

“Or inside… doesn’t she know about the rapist?”



Carmella DeCasare and Jodi Ann Paterson had been avoiding TRL for a while now, knowing the author/jack-of-all-trades was not in the best of moods. Rachael, Melissa, and Shannon had been informed, but for the most part, they were missing in action, helping various guests with various problems in the hotel, be they hotel-related or simply offering their bodies for sexual release. A LOT of requests for sexual release were coming in.

The two PMOYs were placed in charge of the three rape victims to date – Kim, Tara, and Natalie. The three girls had already agreed not to press charges against Victoria or anyone on the island, and Tara had even mentioned enjoying her little butt-fuck some. Still, the PMOYs tried to keep them calm, and watched their room through the hotel’s video surveillance system, just in case the sicko came back to try any of the three again.

“This is great,” Carmella muttered. “Stuck in here with a hurricane out there and a rapist or two on the loose. This isn’t exactly the vacation TRL described to me.”

“I know,” Jodi said, leaning back in her chair. “I mean, I knew we’d be working this, but I figured the hardest part would be fucking the authors – so far, the only author I’ve fucked is TRL.”

“Same here,” Carmella said. “I wonder if any of those three in there are feeling frisky… I could go for a quickie.”

“Really?” Jodi said. “So could I!”

Carmella looked over at her. “Uh, you, y’know, wanna do it?”

“Sure,” Jodi said, standing up and taking off her top. “Why not. We’ll just get off fast. No harm in that.”

“Not like everyone else in the building isn’t doing the same thing,” Carmella said, sliding her short-shorts down her legs. “Can I go first?”


While the playmates were enjoying themselves, Avril Lavinge was not. She’d come down to this thing fully intent on fucking a few babes, sunning herself on the beach, getting wasted off her ass, and generally having a good time. Now, though, she was stuck in her room, looking out at the balcony, watching rain pouring down as Hurricane Michelle swarmed across the island. The worst stuff was still an hour away, according to the weather reports, and who knew how long that would last.

She felt safe inside the hotel – which had been designed to withstand these storms with ease – and hardly gave a notice to the reports of a rapist running about. Avril hadn’t had a cock in a while, so even a forced one wouldn’t hurt her feelings too much.

“As long as I don’t have to suck it,” Avril muttered as she lay down on her bed, naked save for a white tank-top that left her naked pussy open to view. She’d just gotten done fooling around with Melissa Joan Hart, who’d had to leave when the reports of Beyonce’s phantom encounter with the rapist out on the beach came in. Knowing Melissa, she was probably buried up to her tonsils in Beyonce’s snatch as she spoke, leaving Avril high and dry.

Avril was half a second away from starting to masturbate when she thought she saw something moving outside. Getting up, she moved back to the sliding window/door and peered out. Darkness broken only by one of the emergency lights three rooms over, was all that greeted her. Sighing, she moved to get back on the bed when she thought she heard a voice call out.

Opening the door, Avril was greeted by a wall of water that soaked her body almost at once. She gasped, and fought to close the door…

…when the rough hands grabbed her and shoved her inside. Before she could think, a bag was thrown over her face, and she was down on the bed, water soaking the sheets.

“Get off me, you fucker!” Avril screamed. Her attacked simply slapped her in the face, making her cry out again. Suddenly, she felt a very wet penis pressing at the entrance to her uncovered pussy.

“Fine,” she said. “Fuck me, you asshole. But as soon as you’re caught, I’m going to take a dildo to your ass!”

The penis pulled away, and for a moment Avril thought her threat had worked…until that same penis pressed itself against her mouth.

“Time to shut you up,” A voice said, forcing open Avril’s mouth and shoving the large dick inside. Avril tried to squirm away, but it was no use; her attacker had her by the hair and the chin, making sure she couldn’t bite him as he fucked her face.

By the time he had blown his entire load down Avril’s throat, the young Canadian felt like she’d been totally abused. Her attacker hit her once more in the head, knocking her out for a moment, before disappearing back into the night.


Cosmo was troubled. Normally, the thought of being trapped with Jules Asner in her hotel room would have him stoked beyond belief, but he couldn’t shake the feeling that something was very, very wrong. Officially, all guests were being asked to stay inside due to the approaching hurricane. ‘But what’s the unofficial reason?’ Cosmo wondered. The hotel staff seemed worried about something other than the storm. Why else would they ask guests to report “any suspicious activity?” So anxious was Cosmo that he was actually doing sit-ups to try and calm down.

“Ooh, my hero,” came the seductive voice from behind him.

Instinctively, Cosmo flipped up and turned, ready to lay a beat down on some fool trying to sneak up on him. However, he quickly relaxed as his mind registered the source of that voice. “Christ Jules, you almost gave me a heart attack!”

“I’m sorry,” she replied sheepishly. “That was really neat, that thing you just did.”

“Huh? Oh, yeah, that was my impression of The Rock,” came Cosmo’s own sheepish reply. “I’m sorry for snapping at you, I’m just a little wound up right now. Say, that looks really good on you,” Cosmo said, trying to lighten the mood.

“Glad you don’t mind,” she said, referring to his white Elway Colorado Crush jersey adorning her otherwise nude form. Jules walked behind him and began rubbing his shoulders. “What’s wrong? You’re so tense.”

“I don’t know. I just can’t shake the feeling that something else is going on here. Something they’re not telling us.”


Cosmo was not the only one feeling apprehensive. But, unlike Cosmo and many of the other guests, Voodoo Joe did know what was going on. Which was why, despite sitting nude in Keira Knightley’s hot tub with the equally nude and frolicking forms of the aforementioned Ms. Knightley, Eliza Dushku, Mandy Moore, and Liz Phair, he just couldn’t seem to enjoy himself.

“Earth to Voodoo, anyone home?” Mandy asked as she snapped her fingers, trying to get his attention.

“Huh? Sorry, I must have spaced out for a sec,” came Voodoo’s rather flat reply.

“What’s wrong Joe,” came Eliza’s teasing voice, “not good enough for you?”

“Yeah, you’re really killing the mood here,” Keira intoned with her lovely British accent.

“Sorry ladies. It’s just, I mean, with everything that’s going on, it feels wrong for us to be partying in the hot tub. We should be-”

“Don’t worry, I’ll protect you,” Liz interrupted playfully. “Wouldn’t want anything to happen to this now would we?” she asked, reaching for his cock. “Besides, with all of us together, what could possibly happen?”

Suddenly, the power went out.


The power had been cut throughout the hotel for only about half a second before the generators kicked in; most of them didn’t even notice the difference. But Hurricane Michelle kept on a-coming, and it was only a matter of time before they went out as well…

Jennifer Garner had rolled herself on top of Jamie now, thrusting herself down on him; he thought he was fucking her, but she was actually doing him. She clenched her cunt-muscles around his prick as she powered herself up and down, her lean body being stroked by Rachel and Jubilee as she rubbed Jamie’s sweaty chest, the two women kissing her lovely little tits as she ground on and on, seeing her lover’s delighted face. Jennifer bucked harder on him, waiting for the spoilsport’s condom to swell up in her…

Louise had her mouth wrapped around Victor’s swollen pole on the floor, squeezing his buns and slurping away happily while the writer thanked his lucky stars, stroking her blonde head as she sucked. There wasn’t anything or anyone that could take him out of this.

“Hey, Jennifer? Look, if you’re there PLEASE ANSWER!”

Except for Cindy. Victor heard her this time, and slapped Louise’s head as he reached for the phone to get her to stop.

“What’s wrong?” Louise asked, looking up at him pleadingly, still holding his hard cock by her mouth.

“Nothing, I hope… Hey, Cindy? Jennifer’s kind of busy right now.”

“I can hear her,” Cindy replied, and explained the situation as Jennifer’s cries got louder, and Victor’s eyes got wider.

He looked towards the rain-battered windows and dreaded what he’d be telling Jennifer and the others soon; he didn’t want to go out there, but someone had to. Otherwise most of them would be going to jail.


“This is all your fault! Fuckin’ A, you’re supposed to stop this kinda shit from happening!”

TRL rolled his eyes and continued to look about Avril’s room. The floor was sopping wet, as was Avril for that matter, having never bothered to get dressed after her attack. In fact, TRL had to work hard to avoid looking at her wet pussy.

“I had to suck that fucker off, and never even got to get off myself! Fer’ cryin out loud, I could hump a garbage can right now.”

“You’re complaining about not getting raped?” Melissa Joan Hart asked, surprised.

“No, I got raped. He just didn’t get me off,” Avril muttered. “I’m HORNY.”

“Look at this,” TRL said, pointing down towards the sliding glass window. Outside, the storm still raged down on the island, rain nearly flooding the outsides of the hotel.

“What?” Melissa asked.

“It’s half a footprint,” TRL said, pointing down towards a smudge in the carpet. Sure enough, there was just enough mud to make out the back half of a shoe.

“Is it a clue?”

“Hardly,” TRL said. “The guy came and went from outside. There’s no way we’d find other footprints outside. But, if we check doors and windows around the hotel, there’s a chance he left behind another one letting us know he’s inside.”

“What do we do?” Melissa asked.

“Go up to the video control room and get the Playmates searching the videos for any footprints. I’ll get Rachael and Shannon, and start searching the place systematically.”

“Right,” Melissa said, bouncing out of the room.

“Hello!” Avril said. “Still horny here!”

TRL turned towards her and frowned. Reaching down, he unzipped his pants, letting his cock out into the air. “If I fuck you right now, will you please shut up?”

Avril smiled and leaned back on the bed, spreading her legs wide. “Make me cum, and I’ll never complain to you again.”

As TRL rapidly fucked Avril’s brains out, a certain voyeur watched the whole show eagerly.


“I’m so sorry baby,” sobbed a visibly shaken ‘Hater, “I’m such an idiot, will you ever forgive me?”

”Don’t be hard on yourself,” replied Beyonce, suppressing a smile, “as long as you promise me to stay away from her throughout this trip.”

”It’s a promise,” replied ‘Hater, not taking his face away from her lap where he had been shedding tears moments earlier.

‘Hater had been canoodling with Angelina in her room when the phone had rung, bringing news of Beyonce’s attack on the beach. ‘Hater, who was seizing the few hours of rest that Angelina had so graciously provided before she made him service her all night, had jumped off the bed immediately.

”What was that?” he yelled, after Angelina had out down the phone, “What happened to Beyonce?”

”Calm down,” Angelina said lightly, “it’s really nothing.”

”What do you mean NOTHING?” ‘Hater yelled even louder, “How can it be NOTHING?”

”Don’t you raise your voice at me,” Angelina chided half-playfully, “Someone’s gonna get spanked tonight.?”

”I gotta go and make sure she’s OK,” ‘Hater said decisively, as he made for the door

”Where the fuck are you going?” Angelina cried when she found he was serious, “You are not going to fucking walk out on me, I forbid you to walk out on me!”

”Watch me,” ‘Hater said as he flew out of the room.

Now he was with Beyonce in her room, sobbing into her lap when he found out what had happened to her. How could he have been so stupid as to leave the love of his life for some fleeting passion with another woman? If only he had been with her and not so foolishly ignored her, she wouldn’t have been on her own at such an hour, and no harm would have come to her.

”I’m so sorry baby,” he continued to sob, “I don’t know what I’d have done if anything serious had happened to you, promise me you’ll forgive me.”

”It’s OK boo,” Beyonce said, “I forgive you.”


Beyonce couldn’t be more thrilled. It had worked. It had been all too easy. The tricky part was finding someone to carry out the plan with her, but to her luck, she had spotted some bum somewhere on the beach, who had come to beg her for a few dollars, presumably to get some crack. It was such a foolproof plan; all she had to do was offer him about a hundred bucks to pretend to attack her when she was walking alone on the beach. Of course she’d pretend to fight him off, but raise enough attention for someone to come to her aid before the bum ran off.

Once ‘Hater heard the news that she had been in danger, she had no doubt that he’d leave that bitch in an instant and come back to her, full of guilt. And it had worked perfectly.

The only hitch was that Lindsay Lohan had been attacked around the same time as she had, and since the mode of her own attack was a bit more consistent with the others, and of course, because she was the reigning teen princess, Lindsay’s attack had gained more attention. But that was beside the point; she had her baby back.

”I’m such a fool, I never should have agreed that we see other people,” Hater sniffed, “I don’t want nobody else.”

”That’s OK,” Beyonce replied, “It’s not your fault…”

”That Angelina bitch is crazy, I swear,” ‘Hater said, “It’s like she had me under this spell, I didn’t know what the heck I was doing.”

”Just pay no mind to her boo, you’re mine now,” Beyonce said with a note of finality, “You’re MINE.”


As TRL fucked Avril, Carmella DeCasare was busy getting fingered from behind, her nearly-naked body pressed against the cold floor by her fellow Playmate, Jodi Ann Paterson. What had started out as a quickie rapidly escalated into a full blown lesbian fuck session, and a successful one at that. Carmella was working on her third orgasm, and Jodi had creamed herself at least four times.

So it was a bit of a shock when the door to the control room swung open and Melissa Joan Hart came walking in.

“I see you two have kept busy,” Melissa said, ignoring the two playmates for a moment to look over the video screens. “I don’t suppose you saw anything around Avril Lavigne’s room earlier.”

“Uh, no,” Jodi admitted, letting up on Carmella’s pussy. Carmella cooed in disappointment, but said nothing.

“She’s just been raped. If you’re keeping track, that’s four of us.”

“Did she see the guy?” Carmella asked.

“Nope,” Melissa replied. “But if you can get some clothes on, we’re going to go looking for him.”

“If you insist,” Jodi said with a sigh, swatting Carmella’s ass. With a whoop, Carmella fell completely on the cold floor, her head half under the desk containing the computer panels.

“Hey,” she said suddenly. “Is this wire supposed to be here?”


With the storm blocking most incoming and outgoing signals from the island, there was very little for any of the reporters present to do other than sit around, trading war stories. At the moment, Maria Menounos was sitting at a small table in the hotel’s guest bar with Brooke Burke, Jules Asner, and Cindy Taylor. Maria felt a bit out of place, being the only girl never to have hosted “Wild On,” which was proving to be the biggest source of stories for the other three.

“So, there I was, naked from the waist down, with this giant cock in my mouth, when the camera guy busts in screaming ‘Thirty seconds until we go live!’” Jules was saying. Jules’ hair was up, and she looked a little hurried; Maria heard her say something to Brooke about having rushed out from a get together with Cosmo upstairs, but Maria didn’t know all the details. Jules looked happy, though, and she guessed that was the important thing.

“How’d you get out of that one?” Cindy asked, sipping her drink.

“I stood up and did the report with no pants on,” Jules said. “The shot only showed me from the waist up – no one knew my bikini top didn’t have matching bottoms.”

All four girls laughed at that.

“Hey, Maria,” Brooke said. “Did you tell me you gave two guys blowjobs earlier today?”

“Huh? Oh, yeah, out on the beach. I think the sex mood of the place really got to me.”

“I hear that,” Cindy replied with a smile as she felt up Jules’ breast through the sheer material of her top.

“But aren’t those two guys the ones wanted for the rapes?” Brooke asked.

“I don’t know,” Maria admitted. “I mean, TRL wanted to talk to them, but…”

Suddenly, all light in the bar flashed out, leaving the entire place in darkness…


“I still can’t believe you actually brought all these candles with you,” Mr. Fantastic said as Elisha lit the last candle, illuminating the darkened main room of her suite.

“What?” she asked. “I mean come on, chicks dig candles…”

“And Germans love David Hasslehoff, what else is new?” Mr. F asked sarcastically.

“Well, I initially brought them to set the mood. Didn’t think I would need them in case of a black out.”

“Well, it doesn’t matter why you brought them, I’m just glad that they’re here,” Amber said, scooting closer to FD.

“We should stick to this room,” Mr. F said. “And if we trail into any other room, it’s always in groups of two, especially where the women are concerned. We should also plan out multiple escape routes…”

“Dude,” FD said. “Calm down. Stop goin’ Batman on us. The ladies are safe. The guy isn’t getting in here without SOMEONE knowing. Fuck man, you even set up a trip wire on the balcony entrance. The women are safe.”

“And I think the bed room would be even more secure if you know, two of us were in there,” Amber said, squeezing FD’s arm. “You know, to stand guard……”

“Yeah, good idea Amber,” FD said with a grin as he and Amber walked toward the bedroom.

“At least take some candles with you,” Mr. F said. “Give you some light beyond the lightning.” Mr. F threw a bag of candles towards FD, FD catching them as they went into the room.

“FD’s right you know,” Elisha said, scooting closer to Mr. F on the couch. “You need to calm down a bit. I thought that did it back there, but if you need more calming…”

“I wouldn’t mind it, but you seem tense yourself,” Mr. F said, laying Elisha down on the couch, hiking up the shirt she wore. “Why don’t I calm you down a bit?”

“Be my guest…”


“DAMMIT!” Jennifer shouted as the lights went out again just as she and Victor got to the elevator. It was all right for Jubilee and Rachel; they were safe inside the suite curled up in the arms of Louise and Jamie respectively, but JG and Victor were the ones outside, about to leave the hotel and brave the wrath of Michelle. And they had to go through the now blacked-out floors first; the only good thing about it was that if that rapist was around, he was just as badly off as they were. Unless the bastard could see in the dark, which was unlikely.

Jennifer and Victor couldn’t wait for their eyes to get used to the darkness; holding hands, the two fumbled along and felt for the door to the stairwell. “Just wondering, Vic,” Jennifer asked. “If it hadn’t been Cindy who asked, would you be doing this?”

“Probably not,” Victor admitted. “I owe her plenty.”

“But you’ve never met before now,” Jennifer pointed out. “What’s she done for you… oh yeah, I get it…” If Victor could have seen her face, he would have seen her crack out those dimples. “Okay, I got it,” she added, opening the door to the staircase, and the two started the journey down.

And several floors below, someone was coming up the same staircase.


TRL couldn’t see in the dark either, but he knew where nearly everything was. Including the torches and candles, some of which lit the room where Lindsay was still resting. “This is the master key,” he told Cindy, handing it and a torch to her. “For all I know, Duff and Garraway stashed the stuff under one of the mattresses.”

“Good thing there’s only about six floors,” Cindy said.

“And good thing you’re not going alone,” Victoria added. “I want to get the stuff myself so I can make those two eat it. TRL, you and Carnage let me know the second anything else happens…”

Hilary was still sitting by Lindsay, holding her friend’s hand and not moving an inch as the others left to go searching. She had made it clear that she couldn’t leave, and Dr. B had agreed that it would be best if Lindsay had someone by her at all times. Alone with her friend in the candle-lit room, the carnage (non-Jackson related) that Hurricane Michelle was bringing down outside continuing, the teen blonde petted her friend’s head.


Hilary’s eyes widened in hope. Lindsay was coming out of it; the redhead woozily lifted her hand to the blockage in her mouth. “No,” Hilary said gently, putting it back down. “It has to stay there – doctor knows best.”

Lindsay managed to get Hilary’s hand, and placed it on her own body. Between her legs. The blonde’s eyes got even wider as she stared at the girl, who nodded. She still needed Hilary, even now.

Hilary started to unzip Lindsay’s jeans.


“So Avril wasn’t pleased when the lights went out?” Rachael Leigh Cook asked as she, Shannon Elizabeth, and TRL walked down a dark and deserted hallway, their flashlights the only source of illumination.”

“Well, let’s just say this,” TRL muttered, “I sorta came and went, and she was less than pleased.”

“Oh,” Shannon said. “Yeah, I can see where she’d be pissed.”

“Any word from the control room yet?” TRL asked. Shannon checked her walkie-talkie, and sighed.


“Wonder what’s going on up there,” Rachael asked.

“I sent Melissa up to find Jodi and Carmella. Hopefully, all is well,” TRL muttered.

“Are you sure we shouldn’t have more authors helping with this?” Shannon asked.

“And break them away from all the sex they’re having? Good luck. The lights went out, and what little clothing was left on in this joint hit the floor. I don’t know if it was KMB and Rose in that last room, or Rich Wilson and Virginie Ledoyen, but they were less than happy to have me walk in on them in a 69.”

“So, what are we looking for again?” Rachael asked.

“What aren’t we looking for might be a better question. Number one, we’re looking for the rapist. Number two, we’re looking for any non-writer males who might BE the rapists. Number three, we’re looking for the evidence Susan Duff planted somewhere on the island, because lord knows I don’t need both Victoria and Cindy Crawford yelling at me about that, too.”

“Hey, we’re coming up on the hot tub area,” Shannon said. “You guys want to check it out?’

“Absolutely,” TRL said. “We can’t leave anyone in a non-working hot tub in the middle of a blackout. Safety issues and all that.”


“I swear, there’s a wire leading out of that computer that shouldn’t be there,” Carmella said.

Melissa Joan Hart wasn’t sure. Here she was, on her hands and knees, ripe ass hanging in the air as she looked underneath the computers with a flashlight. “Maybe it’s supposed to be coming out of there,” she said.

“All the power sockets leave on the other side of the room,” Jodi pointed out, holding up her flashlight so she and Carmella could get dressed enough to help Melissa search for clues.

“Well, there’s no power in the building anywhere right now,” Melissa said. “I suggest we join the search and worry about this later.”

“All right,” Carmella sighed as she pulled up her G-string bikini bottom. “But we can’t forget that. I have a feeling it’s important somehow…”


Kate Beckinsale and Ashley Judd had actually fallen asleep before the power went out, their sexual activities having worn them out. They lay on their own beds, more out of a need to cool down than anything else; but then again, neither of them had really planned on going back to sleep, it had just happened by accident.

And so they slept through the storm and the power outage, naked, sweat soaked, and sleeping blissfully.

A sleep that was rudely interrupted when two very uninvited guests crashed their private party.

Ashley woke up as the bag went over her face. Kate didn’t wake up until her hands were tied together behind her back. Neither had time to so much as scream before socks were stuffed into their throats, and they were hauled out into the stormy night…


FD lit the last of the candles, set up along the dressers around the bed, and turned around. Amber was laying on the bed, the candlelight dancing over her body as she slowly removed her shirt. “You know…” she said softly, her hands slowly sliding her top over her braless breasts, “I really do appreciate how nice you were today when I hurt my ankle.”

“It’s nothing, I told you,” FD said, sitting on the bed next to her and running a hand through her hair as she pulled the shirt all the way off. “Not that it mattered, the scavenger hunt got rained out, but… you’re more important than any silly game.”

Amber was taken aback at this. “But you could have finished and I would have been okay, I just would have had to play through the pain…”

“You shouldn’t have had to…” FD said, rubbing his hand gently over the sore ankle, the feel of his fingers on it making Amber sigh, not in pain but in awe of his kindness. “And if you don’t want to do this, we don’t have to…you more than thanked me already…”

“No, FD… this isn’t to thank you, this is because I want it…” She reached up and pulled his shirt off. “I want you…”


Cosmo had decided to go with Jules Asner down to the bar; while she was going to have some “girl fun” with Brooke, Cindy, and Maria, he was going to see if he could find some fun of his own. It wasn’t long until the fun found him, in the form of the very hot, and very horny, Kelly Hu. The Asian goddess wasted no time in getting to the point.

“Wanna fuck?”

Of course Cosmo wasn’t going to say no, so they quickly set off for the nearest stairway, knowing the elevators weren’t a good idea with all the power surges. They had meant to go up to Kelly’s room, but as soon as they reached the stairs they realized they were in no mood to wait. Quickly they began groping and kissing each other. They didn’t even bother to undress, Kelly simply undid his pants and fished out Cosmo’s swollen shaft, then he lifted her skirt, and, pleased not to find any cumbersome panties, buried himself in her dripping slit. “Oooooh yeah,” she gasped as she wrapped her legs around his waist.

Cosmo loved the feeling of her silky, wet pussy spasming wildly around his cock. ‘Thank god for that quickie with Jules, I’d hate to have blown my load already!’ He continued to thrust up into her, quickly driving her into several gushing orgasms.

Kelly could do little more than moan incoherently, loving the way that thick cock filled her so completely. As she started to cum yet again, the power went out, leaving the stairway illuminated only by the faint moonlight and occasional streak of lighting coming through the window. Not about to let some silly power outage interrupt his fun, Cosmo withdrew himself from the Kelly’s heavenly folds, but only so that he could turn her around and give her backdoor a try.

“Is this OK?” he asked as he pressed his rigid shaft against her anus, not wanting to force her to do anything against her will. He received no verbal reply; Kelly merely grunted and pushed her ass back against him. Cosmo took his cock, slick with the Asian beauty’s own juices, and pressed it into the puckered hole. He had intended to be slow and gentle, but Ms. Hu, clearly no anal rookie, was having none of that. She forced herself back against him, her rectum quickly engulfing the invading shaft.

“God, please fuck my ass! Buttfuck me like a cheap whore! FUCK ME!”

Cosmo wasted no time in doing just that, pounding mercilessly into the hot, tight ass before him. Though he had been having plenty of sex with Jules since getting to the island, there was something incredibly raw about this spirited ass fucking at the bottom of the stairs. Never had he experienced something so primal, and he knew he would not last much longer. Kelly was also getting off on the raunchiness of this act. The mere thought of having her ass fucked like a $2 whore in a public place was almost enough to set her off. But that, coupled with the feel of Cosmo’s fat cock plundering her bowels, not to mention his kisses on the back of her neck and his fingers diddling her stiff clit, quickly sent her to a final, earth-shattering climax.


The foul language, along with the tightly clasping walls of her rectum, put Cosmo on the brink of his own powerful orgasm. But first he wanted to see how much of a slut Kelly really wanted to be. “So you’re gonna be a cheap slut are you? Then here,” he said as he pulled out of her ass and pushed her to her knees, “Suck!” And suck she did, she sucked as if her life depended on it, actually so aroused by the thought of doing something so nasty that she had another small orgasm. Cosmo finally lost it, spewing what felt like gallons of hot cum into her throat, and Kelly was determined not to miss a single drop, desperately swallowing every last bit of sperm. Finally spent, he pulled out of her greedy mouth and fell back against the wall.

After several minutes spent trying to catch their breaths, Kelly spoke first. “Oh my god, that was wild. I have to admit, when you pinned me against the wall, I had this crazy thought for a second that you might be the rapist.”

Even in his post-orgasmic haze, Cosmo picked up on the rather distinctive word that ended the older woman’s statement.


“You know, the rapist.” After seeing the blank look on his face, Kelly realized that he, in fact, did not know about the rapist. So she explained, “I overheard Pink talking to Kristanna Loken earlier. Pink got it out of Mya, who was out with Christina Aguilera when they found Tara Reid lying in a lifeguard tower. I guess Kim Smith and Natalie Portman got attacked too. For all I know, the guy could still be on the loose, raping more women. Rumor is that it might even be multiple rapists.”

“Well, that is just fucking excellent.”


TRL, Shannon Elizabeth, and Rachael Leigh Cook entered the hot tub area of the pool to find total darkness and a lot of moaning.

“Hey, guys,” a voice called out through the darkness. “You wanna bring those flashlights over here?”

“Voodoo?” Rachael asked. “Is that you?”

“Yeah. When’d the lights go out?”

“Maybe half an hour ago,” TRL said. “You in here with someone else?”

“Several someone elses,” Mandy Moore spoke up. “I’m here, Keira’s here, and Liz is down in the water.”

“Down in the water?” Shannon asked. “Doing what?”

Voodoo moaned. “Proving why she’s my blowjob queen,” he said. His teeth seemed to glow in the light cast off by the flashlights.

“I should’ve seen that one coming,” TRL muttered.

“Are you guys alright?” Rachael asked.

“We’re good,” Mandy said.

“Actually, I’m a little cold,” Keira said. “It’s hard to keep warm now that the power’s gone out.”

“Here,” TRL said, shining his flashlight over to one side to show a rack of towels. “Let’s get you out of the water. You wouldn’t want to catch a cold.”


Ice cold water seemed to coat Kate Beckinsale’s body as she was dragged deeper and deeper into the storm. Her face was covered with a bag of some sort, but the water had long since seeped into it, plastering her hair to her head. She kept trying to scream, but the large roll of socks in her mouth limited her to barely audible cries. She hoped Ashley was all right. She also hoped she’d get out of the rain soon. The wind kept throwing sticks and leaves against her naked body, and the cold water seemed to cover her constantly.

It was not how she wanted to wake up – especially considering the fact that the last real thing she remembered before going to bed was sex with Ashley Judd.

She had no idea how far they traveled into the stormy night, nor any clue where they were when the rain finally vanished from around her. All she knew was that suddenly, she hit a stone floor and felt the barely trickling warmth of a nearby fire. A wet body fell next to her, and she instinctively knew it was Ashley.

“What do we do now?” a male voice asked.

“We keep them here until the boss comes looking for them. Then we get paid,” a second voice, also a man, answered.

“These two are pretty hot. Think the boss’ll find a buyer?” the first voice asked.

“Knowing the boss, he’s already got someone lined up. He’ll get a pretty penny for these two, that’s for sure.”


Hilary had heard stories about how the classic Mouseketeers had engaged in some non-Disney activities off-camera, gangbanging Annette and so forth; all that forced innocence meant it all had to come out sometime. Now the torch was passed to the Disney Channel stable, what with Christina deflowering Keri and so on; carrying on the tradition, she gently lowered Lindsay’s jeans to just underneath her panties. Listening to Lindsay’s blessedly less tortured breathing as she slept, Hilary lightly ran her fingers over the covered crotch.

“I’m sorry I got you into this, Lindsay,” she said softly as she moved her fingers underneath, feeling her own cunt dampen a touch when she felt Lindsay’s reddish snatch. Hilary’s fingers slid through her friend’s forest, inching towards that gorgeous little button of hers… there. The blonde started to rub it slowly as she explored all around, while she looked at her friend’s face. Now she wasn’t seeing the mess on it; she was looking at the friend and lover beneath it. Hilary’s middle finger started to go inside Lindsay, wanting more of her as she rubbed and fondled the redhead; Hilary only wished that her friend could give it to her in return. She kissed the girl on her forehead as her fingers made Lindsay’s pussy ever moister; there was only one thing nicer than watching Lindsay Lohan play with herself, and that was kissing what she was playing with.


With the ground floor torn apart and nothing there, they could only go up. As Cindy Crawford had noted, the hotel was only about six floors high, but each of those floors had a lot of rooms, and they were all occupied. Taking different sides of the first floor’s corridor, Cindy and Victoria started to interrupt a lot of people’s privacy.

Even Victoria was embarrassed when she master-keyed her first room open and was faced with Sir Peter spread-eagled on the bed yelling in happiness while two women – ITV’s Katie Derham and the BBC’s Natasha Kaplinsky – straddled him above and below. Fortunately Peter was too busy munching on Katie to notice the boss quickly but thoroughly go through the room (thank goodness it was a small one).

Victoria’s search was fruitless, but someone in that room was happy. “Mmmm… ohhhh Natasha… talk about Great Drama From The BBC…” Peter groaned as Natasha kept sucking him, to a bemused shaking of the head from Victoria as she let herself out. One down, too many to go.

Cindy had tried to ignore the sight of Robbins enthusiastically fucking Sofia Coppola as she went through the room – sex and a hurricane were two great attention-holders – also without finding a thing. Exiting the room, she was about to go to the next one when her mobile went off. She knew that ring…

“What do you want, Susan?”

“I think you’re entitled to one clue to help you along,” said Mrs. Duff. “Think Captain Birdseye and Jabberjaw.”

“Captain Birdseye?”

“Kate did that one… okay, think Gorton’s. Will that do? Better get a move on – sun’s up in three hours…”

The rude woman clicked off, and Cindy called Jennifer Garner and Victoria to give her the info. Though what an advertising-created fisherman and an annoying Hanna-Barbera shark had to do with a bunch of celebrity prostitutes was anybody’s guess.


“Jabberjaw?” Victor repeated. “What’s that about?”

“Hey, it’s a lead. Just think it over; it’s got to mean something.”

He and Jennifer Garner were almost there – a couple more stair turns and…

They saw a ray of light coming from around the corner, and tensed up immediately. If this was the rapist, at least they had safety in numbers. No weapons, but…


“A big strong guy like you frightened by a girl?” Jennifer asked, her face revealed to the man holding the torch.

“Sorry – it’s just that I didn’t expect to find anyone else around here… listen, you know where ‘Hater is?”

“I think he’s on the fourth floor – room 45,” Victor said. “Tell him I said hi.”

“Thanks, bro,” Jay-Z replied. “You and the lovely lady take care.”


“This would be a lot more fun if we had time to stop in every room,” Carmella DeCasare complained as she, Melissa Joan Hart, and Jodi Ann Paterson continued to go through the rooms on the top floor of the hotel. They’d spent the last twenty minutes or so going in and out of rooms, looking for either for Susan Duff’s evidence, or for the rapist. So far, no luck in either regard, but the night hadn’t been without its discoveries so far.

Every other room or so had featured various celebs getting on with each other, getting it on with CSSA/TSSA authors, or, frequently, both. Jodi had actually walked in on Sara Violet taking a strap-on dildo to Denise Richards’ ass. Both girls had offered to let the three searchers join them – an offer very hard to pass up – but the trio stuck to their task. They passed up chances to lick Christina Aguilera’s pussy, suck on Thora Birch’s nipples while Ithaqua fucked her pussy, and even a massive orgy in Erostrek’s room between him, Shannen Doherty, Jeri Ryan, and Kristin Kreuk that involved a lot of hot oil and some candles.

“If we stopped in every room, we’d never get off this floor,” Jodi pointed out.

“I’d just like the power to come back.” Melissa quipped as they hit another door. This one was locked.

“Is this even a room?” Carmella asked. “I thought it was a closet.”

“Is it me, or is there some light coming out from under this door?” Jodi said, pointing towards the bottom of the door. Sure enough, a small line of light seemed to be leaking out.


“Thank you for the help, TRL,” Keira said as she lead the author into a dressing room near the hot tub. She was clad still in just a towel that barely went from her chest to the bottom of her ass; bending over wasn’t really an option.

“You have to be careful – it’s not safe around here right now. The storm is causing problems, and there’s a rapist on the loose.”

“But you’re here to protect me,” Keira smiled. “I just need to get into some dry clothes. Voodoo’s only got eyes for Liz right now.”

“I find that hard to believe,” TRL said as Keira let her towel drop. She smiled as she stood before him naked, and reached into a small bag she’d brought with her. Pulling out a very tiny bikini top out of the bag, she handed it towards him. “Care to lend me a hand?”

“Only if I can lend you something else as well,” TRL grinned as he let the bikini top hit the floor.

“Let’s see, I’ve been in a hot tub with two gorgeous babes watching one of them give head to a guy for something like three or four hours now,” Keira said, pulling TRL towards her. “You’d bloody well better lend me something else before I take it from you!”


“Is anyone going to get Liz and Voodoo out of the hot tub?” Shannon Elizabeth asked.

“Let ‘em stay,” Mandy Moore replied, brushing off her naked body with a towel. “I mean, she’s happy, he’s happy, why bother them?”

“She’s got a point,” Rachael Leigh Cook muttered. “Is your room close, Mandy?”

“Yeah, it’s right down the hall, actually,” Mandy said, pointing back into the darkness. “I’ve got some clothes there.”

“I think TRL will be all right for a moment while we bring Mandy back,” Rachael said.”

“Right,” Shannon said, hefting her flashlight. “Lead the way, Mandy.”

“Thanks, guys,” Mandy said, wrapping the towel around herself to provide some coverage. Not that she minded either Shannon or Rachael looking at her naked body, but it was getting cold, and all she really wanted to do now was sleep.

“Here we go,” Mandy said, opening the door to the room. “Would you two like to come in?” she asked.

“Nah, TRL would have a fit if we didn’t get back in time,” Shannon said. “That is, if he’s gotten his hands off Keira yet.”

“Lucky bastard,” Rachael muttered.

“Yes he is,” Mandy giggled, remembering her own little encounters with the British starlet.

She watched as Rachael and Shannon moved back off into the dark hotel room, then let her towel drop to the floor before closing the door. God, she’d need to masturbate before going to bed, she’d never be able to sleep now.

She was half way to the bed, one finger already playing with her nipples, when the hands reached out from the dark room to cover her mouth and prevent her from screaming.


Jen moaned as she felt a hand roughly squeeze her breast. The hand tightened its grip as its owner felt the vibrations from Jen’s moan on his hard cock, buried in the lovely author’s throat. Jen sucked harder, her mouth pistoning up and down on the hard shaft, her hands instinctively reaching forward to rub the man’s balls.

Laura gasped as she felt her arms pulled away from her sides. Instantly, a pair of hands grabbed her head and forced it back into the pussy she had been licking. “Keep licking, slut!” A strong female voice shouted over the sound of the pouring rain and howling wind. Laura obeyed, resuming her oral attentions. Once Jen realized that she couldn’t rub the man’s balls without breaking her friend/lover’s arms, she let them rest at her sides again. The two redheads’ wrists had been handcuffed together, and their backs were pressed against each other. They were kneeling, while their sexual partners were standing.

“You two sluts think you can just run through a hotel topless and not get caught?” The male asked, grabbing and tugging Jen’s hair. “Look at me, whore!” Jen looked obediently into the man’s eyes, and he patted her head. “Good girl.” Laura mimicked her partner’s actions, her eyes traveling up the fair-skinned, nude body of the near-perfect woman she was servicing. Laura took her captor’s clit into her mouth and sucked on it, loving the loud moan that came from the woman’s mouth. The standing woman kissed her male companion, rubbing his head and moaning into his mouth as he groped her tits. A well-timed pinch of her nipple and a nibble on her cunt from Laura sent the dark-haired woman over the edge, her cream flowing into Laura’s hungry mouth. Seeing his partner-the object of countless fantasies he had had and stories he had written-cum was enough to send the man past the brink of orgasm as well. He shot his load into Jen’s mouth, and the kneeling author made sure to swallow every drop. Leaving the two kneeling girls where they were for now, he crawled to his raven-haired companion.

“Just wait ’till the Professor and Alyssa hear about this.”


Ashley Judd was just barely feeling warm again when she heard someone enter the cave. They had to be in a cave, that much she knew. The rock-hard ground, the echoes, the cold. Had to be a cave of some sort. She knew Kate was next to her – her lover’s arm hadn’t left her side since they’d both been brought here a while ago.

“You get her?” The first male voice asked.

“Right where the boss said she’d be,” the second one said. Suddenly, Ashley felt another body slam into her. There was a muffled scream, and Kate cried out as well.

“Damn, Mandy Moore,” the first male said. “That’s one hot piece of ass.”

“Yeah, just remember, we can’t touch ‘em until the boss says it’s all right,” the second reminded the first.

“Doesn’t mean we can’t have some fun,” the first said. Mandy cried out again, and Ashley felt the new body lifted off her own. Suddenly, her legs were thrust wide open. She screamed through her gag, the muffled sound doing no good. This was it, she figured. This was where she got raped.

But it wasn’t a penis that was pressed against her crotch next… it was a face. And, judging from the feel of the face, it had to be a woman’s face.

“Please let me go,” Mandy’s voice whispered into the darkness. Apparently, her gag had been removed.

“Oh no, you’re here for good. But, if you keep us entertained, we promise not to hurt you,” the first voice said.

“What d-do you want?” Mandy asked.

“That’s Ashley Judd’s naked pussy in front of you,” the man said. “I want you to lick it. If you make her cum in five minutes, you get to have her do it to you next. If you don’t, you get to move on to her lesbo partner, Kate Beckinsale here. And we’ll keep going like that until you either make everyone around here cum, or we decide to hurt you after all.”

“Please, no,” Mandy whispered.

“Lick!” The man demanded. Ashley tensed as she felt Mandy’s face pressed into her crotch. She could feel tears streaming down Mandy’s face, and she felt like crying herself. Any other time and place, and she would’ve given her first born child to have Mandy Moore lick her to orgasm. Now, it just felt wrong.

Mandy’s expert tongue entered Ashley’s cunt, and instantly started licking away. At first, Ashley felt nothing, her outrage at what these men were doing too great. But as Mandy worked her delicate little tongue in and out of Ashley’s folds, the pleasure began to grow. Ashley didn’t want it to, but she let it. She knew Mandy would be hurt if she didn’t get off on the young singer’s tongue.

And so, Ashley gave in. She imagined she wasn’t being held captive – that this was a bondage game she was playing with Mandy, or Kate, or even some of the CSSA writers – Jen, perhaps, or KMB. Ashley let her body go, enjoying the clearly experienced Mandy licking up and down her slit, over her clit, and deep into her snatch. She imagined what Mandy’s cute little face would look like covered in her cum. She imagined that Kate was behind Mandy, holding the girl down a little, while stroking the young singer’s cunt.

The image was powerful. The sensations Mandy was giving her were even more so.

Ashley Judd came hard, her juices flowing out onto the stone floor below.

And she was exactly ten seconds too late.

“Too bad, Candy girl,” the first man said, lifting Mandy up off of Ashley’s bound and blindfolded body. “That took just a bit too long. Time to do Kate here instead.”

“You have fun, man,” the second voice said. “I’ve got to go get the boss’ next pickup before the storm gets too bad.

“Whatever. But, hey, if you find some pussy we CAN fuck, bring that back, too.”

“Whatever,” the second man said, disappearing into the night.

Beside her, Ashley could feel Kate grow stiff as the first man pressed Mandy’s cum-coated face into her snatch.


“Got it!” Melissa Joan Hart exclaimed as she found the key that opened the supply closet on the top floor. Sticking it in the door, she quickly opened the previously-locked room and blinked at the sudden intrusion of light – artificial light – that shouldn’t have been in the blacked-out hotel.

“Augh!” A voice inside screamed. A very male voice.

“Don’t move!” Jodi Ann Paterson shouted into the room.

“Where’s all this light coming from?” Carmella DeCasare asked as the three girls entered the surprisingly-large supply closet…

…that didn’t have a single supply in it.

Instead, the room was filled with TV screens, all of them lit up and showing a different scene. There was Cosmo and Kelly Hu getting dressed from a clearly exciting evening of nakedness. On another screen, FD could be seen giving it good to Amber Tamblyn, while three screens over, Lindsay Lohan was receiving a nasty-looking hand job from Hilary Duff. Voodoo Joe was still in the hot tub, but now his cock was sliding in and out of Liz Phair like a piston, and The Professor and Alyssa Milano were engaged in a rather passionate 69 on the floor of their room.

“What is all this?” Carmella asked.

“Please, don’t tell my parents,” a scared voice came from underneath one of the TV monitors…


The fury of the hurricane hit Victor and Jennifer the second they stepped outside; the rain lashed their faces, soaking their clothes in seconds. The two staggered through the rushing winds, stepping through debris as they fought against Michelle through the courtyard, Susan’s clue on their minds… Jabberjaw and Gorton’s…

“NICE OF HER TO GIVE US SOMETHING SO EASY TO WORK WITH!!!” Victor tried to shout above the winds.






One of the hotel’s awnings had been ripped off and flew towards them; Victor flung himself to the ground as it shot over his head to crash at a safe distance. “THANKS!”




“GOOD A PLACE TO START AS ANY!” And the two set off towards the pool as fast as they dared.


Cindy Crawford and Victoria had gotten up to the second floor before reaching the obvious conclusion that they were wasting their damn time violating the privacy of everyone in the hotel – the sight of Jessica Biel having a bukkake-fest proved to be the breaking point.

“Think about it,” Victoria said to the brunette, trying to repress the image of Jessica’s face dripping with semen. “Duff and that breakfast bimbo said fish, right? Specifically Gorton’s.”

“So we should look for a guy in a windbreaker?” asked Cindy.

“Oh, my aching sides. Gorton’s do frozen fish…”

“So it’s in the kitchen?”

“Got it in one, Girl Wonder,” said Victoria. “Lardass didn’t make it as hard as she thought.”

As they headed back downstairs, Cindy wasn’t so sure.


Hilary didn’t know that somebody was watching her shoving her fingers further inside the stirring Lindsay. She was feeling her friend dripping on her finger tips, and listening to her groans as her rising orgasm started to break through her rest… grunting through the tube, Hilary gently took it out of her mouth and bent to kiss her, and told herself she had just imagined Lindsay’s tongue flicking back. “…uckme…” she mumbled.


“… fuck… me…” Lindsay whispered, shivering as her first warmth moved through her from her friend’s fingers. Joyfully, Hilary wriggled Lindsay’s trousers down and thrust her tongue inside. She’d been eating her, Raven and Amanda Bynes that first time, but Lindsay was the only one she’d gone back for seconds for – Hilary started licking rapidly and pushing her cunt-soaked fingers underneath to get a hold of Lindsay’s fine behind, as the action unfurled on the monitors.

And in front of the only other person in the room, watching silently.


With leaves, branches, and the odd heavier thing strewn across the grounds, it was a while before Victor and Jennifer Garner got to the enormous swimming pool. The surface was being churned up by Michelle’s winds; the two gaped at each other. If it was up to either of them, they’d wait for the eye of the hurricane.

They jumped in from either end, searching throughout the pool for… whatever it was they were looking for. Nothing fell into the chlorine-holder while they were in there – the bad news was that nothing was in there at all. “SO NOW WHAT?” Victor shouted as he and Jennifer got out of the pool. “THE HOT TUB’S INSIDE AND THE ONLY OTHER WATER AROUND HERE IS BACK THERE!”


They knew what that meant – the eye of the hurricane was coming. They started to run for the path taking them into the woods; the lake was on that path, and they didn’t have much time before the eye passed them over…


Shannon Elizabeth and Rachael Leigh Cook had been waiting beside the hot tub for twenty minutes before TRL came through the door from outside the room. They’d watched Voodoo and Liz switch places, Liz now on the receiving end of Voodoo’s tongue.

“I thought you were inside with Keira?” Rachael asked.

“I was. I just returned her to her room,” TRL said. “Where’s Mandy?”

“We brought her back to her place about twenty minutes ago,” Shannon said, looking down at TRL’s crotch. “Uh, you fly is down.”

TRL looked down and pulled up the zipper. “Oops.”

“I bet,” Rachael muttered.

Suddenly, the radio beeped. “TRL?” Melissa’s voice came over the walkie talkie.

“Yeah?” TRL said into it.

“We’ve got a problem up here. Get up to the top floor now!”


“Please, I just recorded some tapes. I didn’t think anyone would mind!”

Melissa Joan Hart put away her radio and looked down at what had to be a fourteen-year-old boy quaking in his tighty-whites. His small cock was sticking out the front at first, though by now it had shriveled back inside the generally small package from whence it came.

“Who are you?” Jodi Ann Paterson asked, looking down forcefully at the young boy.

“My name’s Tim. Tim Brown. My grandparents owned this hotel before you guys bought it.”

“So you set up all these video cameras?” Carmella DeCasare asked.

“Actually, you guys set up all the cameras, I just tapped into your feed,” little Tim said.

“What?” Melissa asked.

“That wire!” Carmella said, snapping her fingers. “You put that wire into the control room.”

“That was just to keep you guys from noticing I was on your cameras,” Tim said, launching into a technical description that was above anyone else in the room.

“Okay, TechBoy,” Jodi said. “Why are you here?”

“Listen, I wasn’t doing anything wrong. I just wanted to see all you hot babes getting it on with each other.”

“Pervert!” Melissa said.

“We’re in a hotel filled with writers having sex with celebs and she’s calling him a pervert?” Jodi asked.

“Listen, if you don’t hurt me, I’ll show you who took them,” Tim said.

“Who took who?” All three girls said at once.


“What’s this about a rapist?” Cosmo demanded as he and Kelly Hu entered the main dining room, still filled for the most parts with Celebs.

“Where the hell have you been?” Butch asked. “It’s been all over the place. And now some celebs are going missing.”

“Missing?!” Cosmo asked. “What the hell?”

“Tara Reid just went looking for Ashley Judd and Kate Beckinsale and couldn’t find them. They came together, spent most of the day together, and the last anyone saw of them, they went to bed together,” Butch said. “When Tara got to their room, it was empty, and there were wet footprints all over their room.”

“This sucks,” Cosmo said.

“Damn right it does,” Carnage Jackson said, coming up behind them. “Victoria’s still rushing about trying to prevent Susan Duff from getting away with her blackmail, and the Hurricane is only halfway done with us. TRL better get to the bottom of this quick, or the news people on this island will have the story of the year, and we’ll be caught smack dab in the middle of it all.”

“Where is TRL, anyway?” Butch asked.

“I just saw him heading upstairs,” Carnage said. “He muttered something about a lead.”

“What else could go wrong?” Kelly Hu asked.

“Don’t jinx us,” Carnage muttered.


Hilary’s tongue continued its journey through Lindsay’s crimson garden; waking someone up by giving them head was an oldie but a goodie. And she could taste Lindsay’s sweetness in her mouth, and hear her groans; Hilary knew everything was going to be all right… and then her head was wrenched back from Lindsay’s cunt, dragging her away and up. Through the dim albeit increasing light, Hilary saw Lindsay’s eyes gaping in alarm as she recognized who the person forcing the blonde around was.

“Did you like it, Hilary?” Kate Garraway asked, all traces of her friendly TV persona gone. “Keeping in practice for when you get back home, right? Good girl.”

“Let me go, Kate!” Hilary yelled as she tried to get out of Kate’s grip. “Why’d you go and beat her up?”

“To teach her a lesson. And because she wouldn’t take it quietly.”

“Take what quietly?… Oh my God. You mean you and Mom…”

“Raped her? We could have – one of her, two of us, and laws that say women technically can’t be raped by women,” Kate laughed. “But we thought we’d save that for later… save it for you.” Hilary turned white as snow as the older woman gripped her ever tighter.

“Thanks for waking her up… I want her to watch it happen. Just to remind her what happens when you try to be bad.”

“But… but Mom…” Hilary babbled, still trying to claw free. “She’ll know it was you…”

“Of course she will; it was her idea. She may be making what you Yanks call ‘beaucoup bucks’ off you and the others, but even she doesn’t want to rape her own children. Now don’t make this hard on yourself,” she added, patting Hilary’s left side. “I can tell I’m going to enjoy this – you’re a good one; nice and filled-out, not bony like Eva Herzigova these days or those sisters… what are they called…”

“The Hiltons?” Hilary suggested, an idea coming to her mind. “Or… them?”

Kate rolled her eyes. “‘Them’? ‘THEM’? Bloody Americans so scared of lawsuits – that might be fine for the site, but this is the real world, all right? It’s not that horrible movie about Candyman or whoever it was; listen… ”

She didn’t say “Candyman” three times – she said THEIR names three times instead. At which point Kate’s identity badge began blinking rapidly and beeping, breaking off her sentence, and the nasty smile swapped faces from the British blonde to the American one.

“You should’ve read the rules, Katie,” cooed Miss Duff. “Those badges we all got aren’t just so we know who’s who, they’re kind of like little bugging devices. The second anyone mentions THEM, you’re gone. You’re being tracked now, and it’s only a matter of time till you and my mom are gone. AND you’re banned from talking to any of us again. Ever.”

Kate grabbed at the badge and flailed as it sent an electric shock through her body. “Can’t take it off, either,” Hilary added. “Only TRL and Victoria can.”

“Well, let’s see how fast I can finish with you before we get more of an audience,” Kate snarled, and grabbed Hilary, unaware that she already HAD more of an audience…


Jay-Z tried to listen through the door of room 45; if Beyonce and that jerkoff of a writer were at it, he owed it to her to wait until they were finished. But not a sound.

He nodded once, and got his equipment out – they were never going to let him in, and kicking the door down would ruin the element of surprise. But as one of the most jealous men in the world, he’d found that lock-picking equipment had been very handy in keeping track of Bey; he was inside the suite in seconds, moving as quietly as possible. Now he could hear the sounds, hear Beyonce’s throaty “Uhhhh…. uhhhhh… uhhhhh….” that she made when she was on the end of his cock. And it SHOULD have been his cock, not some crappy writer’s half-inch wonder! If he had gone and called himself Jayhater, there’d really be hell to pay…

Jay-Z quietly pushed open the door, and shined the torch towards the bed. The beam highlighted two very familiar sights; two juicy, perfectly round, milk chocolate-colored buttocks. Beyonce’s buns were bouncing up and down on ‘Hater’s crotch, and neither knew Jay-Z was standing, watching, waiting for them to finish so he could reduce his 99 problems to 98.


Down in the kitchen, Cindy Crawford’s legs were waving in the air as Victoria rummaged around.

That is, Cindy Crawford’s legs were waving in the air while she bent down into one of the two enormous deep freezes, chucking aside one frozen fish item after another; and as Victoria rummaged around in the other one. They were getting nowhere except cold, and if it wasn’t there then they would have to look in the guests’ personal fridges. And neither of them wanted to be invited to lick Christina Aguilera. Again.

Cindy threw aside another box of fish fingers. And another. And another… “Wait a second…” she said to herself as she picked up the one she had just thrown aside. It was a big one for sure… but why was it so light?


Not only were they still in the eye of the hurricane, but the sky was getting lighter, a small mercy Jennifer Garner and Victor were thankful for as they got to the lake. “Are we both going in again?” Victor asked.

“You just want to look at me dripping wet in clingy clothes and nothing underneath when I come out, right?” Jennifer chuckled. “Again?”

“Well… yes.”

“That figures. Don’t think I didn’t check you out either.”

Insofar as it is possible for a black guy to blush, he blushed and joined the tall woman in the lake for another morning swim. The lake was clean, and fairly warm, but also fairly deep. They swam down to the bottom and looked around as fast as they could before they had to surface for a breath. “Nothing on my end!” Victor panted.

“Something on MY end!” Jennifer said excitedly from some feet away. “I think I found it…”

And then he took his eyes off her for a moment. “Err… Jen…” Victor said nervously as she dived back down, but she was on the way back to the bottom before he could finish. He treaded water in alarm, telling himself he hadn’t seen what he just saw there, and then dived down after Jennifer.

She had found a waterproofed bag held down at the bottom with weights. Inside the bag was a box with a keypad and a slot of the type cards were swiped inside; Jennifer gave Victor the thumbs-up sign when he joined her.

He, meanwhile, tried to ignore the two sharks that were circling near the surface.


Victoria hurriedly ripped open the suspiciously light giant size box of Birds Eye fish fingers as Cindy looked on, and shook it. “Come to mama, baby,” she said eagerly as a large envelope fell out.

“YES!” she yelled as Cindy tore it open and out fell… a piece of paper and a magnetic card, the kind you used to gain entrance to vaults and the like by swiping.

And at that moment, the winds started to increase.


Everything seemed to be falling apart at once, and TRL was not happy. He, Rachael, and Shannon were racing up the stairs – because the elevators were still out, naturally – when the “THEM” alarm sounded. TRL had thought it a rather ridiculous idea at first, figuring that anyone smart enough to make it on the island as an invited guest would know better than to say their names more than once. Three times in a row seemed not only too much, but close to impossible. Who would need to say their name more than once, anyway?

“Christ, not now,” TRL muttered.

“We’ll go,” Shannon said, grabbing Rachael by the arm. “You go see what Melissa needed you for.”

“Thanks,” TRL muttered, continuing up the stairs. Hopefully, Victoria would be close enough to take the damnable beeper and turn it off soon. He had enough headaches already.


Jay-Z watched as Beyonce writhed in orgasmic pleasure atop ‘Hater, her luscious body moving in a way that could hypnotize any man. Jay didn’t blame ‘Hater for wanting Bey; who wouldn’t, the way she could work that ass of hers? But playa needed to know who belonged to whom, and this was the last time Jay was going to put up with it.

As Beyonce fell to the bed, her chocolate colored body coated with sweat, Jay reached for his Glock. Time to put an end to this ‘Hater fellow once and for all.

“Hater?!” A voice called out suddenly. “Damn you, if you’re with that Knowles bitch again, I’m going to kick your ass!”

The voice startled Jay-Z enough to make him squeeze off a shot into the room, the round slamming into the headboard of the bed not three inches from where ‘Hater’s head was.

And as Beyonce Screamed, a very angry Angelina Jolie entered the room behind Jay-Z, ready for a fight.


TRL had barely gotten into the room with all the TVs when things began to come even more apart.

“TRL, we’ve got a serious problem,” Jodi Ann Paterson said at once. “Some of our guests have been kidnapped!”

“What?” TRL said, looking over at the largest of the screens. He didn’t even ask how they got here, or even how they were being powered. All he cared about was the image he was seeing. Right there, in green night-vision color, were two large men hauling bound and gagged Kate Beckinsale and Ashley Judd out of their room and into the stormy night.

“What the hell?” he asked. “That’s them! The two guys we’re looking for. It has to be,” he said, moving closer to the screen. “Carmella, Melissa, go find Maria Menounos and get her up here. If these are the two guys she blew, then we’ve got our rapists!”

“What about Timmy here?” Carmella asked.

“Who?” TRL said.

That was when the gunshot sounded through the hotel.


Mandy Moore’s jaw hurt. Normally, licking two girls until they came was fun for the young songstress, but this had gone on too long. Plus, while Kate and Ashley were reaching climax, poor Mandy knew that the only person getting any real pleasure out of this was the man standing behind them, watching the three naked girls engage each other in force cunnilingus.

As Mandy’s blindfolded face was pressed down into Kate’s crotch, a new series of noises filled the area.

“I’m back,” the guard who’d left said, clearly just entering the sheltered area.

“Whoa, where’d you get two of them?” The guard who’d stayed behind asked.

“Well, this one the boss wanted picked up, and this one was being nosy and looking around, so I grabbed her, too. Best part about her is, we can use her all we want – she ain’t on the boss’ list.”

“Fuck, yeah! I’m so horny, I could bust a nut!” The second guard said. Suddenly, Mandy felt someone fall on top of her. There was a muffled shriek, and the wet, naked body half rolled off Mandy. There was a gasp of air, and a cry of pain.

A cry of pain in a voice Mandy recognized.

“Keira?” Mandy asked quietly.

“Mandy? Not you, too!”

“Shut up!” The first guard yelled. “Or we’ll fuck you like we’re about to fuck this little blonde!”

“Please, don’t hurt her! She was just in the wrong place at the wrong time!” Keira cried.

“Shut Up!” Both guards yelled at once.

“Who is it?” Mandy whispered.

“Kirsten Dunst,” Keira whispered back.

Suddenly, the place felt that much colder.


When Sabrina the Big-boobed Witch and the star of Johnson Family Vacation had been called back to base, the Butchster and Jessica Alba had been told to go back to their room(s) and stay there – “This is a need to know thing,” MJH told Butch. “All you need to know is that you have to stay inside until it’s over.”

Screw that. All Butch needed to know was that:

1. He was inside a suite with Jessica Alba.

2. He was inside Jessica Alba.

They had been making like Buffy and Riley/Spike for hours now; their lips and bodies practically fused together as they fucked wildly all over the suite – in the main room, on the bed, under the bed, in the shower, in the kitchenette – and Butch was so taken with the solar-hot Jessica that he was just about the only person around who didn’t hear the THEM siren go off; he was more interested in those lips sealing his mouth while he felt those satin cushions she called a butt.

He didn’t even hear the gunshot. He was too busy firing his own weapon into Jessica’s cunt over and over and over…

“About time someone made me feel like a woman again…” Jessica panted as she held a grinning Butch tight – so he had been right about Jeter and that loser Wahlberg.


They couldn’t hold their breath any longer – Victor and Jennifer had to surface, lifting the bag as they rose. All they could do was try and rise away from the sharks; knowing that they didn’t usually eat people wasn’t helping. The two kicked away from the circling finned things as they tried not to lose the bag, heavier because the weights had been put on with chains.

They broke the surface, gulping in air as they held the bag, and without saying anything started to swim for shore; but they had to do it with one arm each – that damn bag. And the fins were… where were they? And the breeze they were feeling was speeding up…

“Just a little… bit… further…” Victor grunted.

“No talking… just swim…” Jennifer replied, before her face changed to alarm as she felt one of the sharks brushing by her leg; she nearly let go in shock. And there it was again – they swam faster, not wondering what they were doing there in the first place, just praying they could get to the shore.

Victor felt it too – and then he saw the other one coming closer to them. He had a sinking feeling that they weren’t going to make it…


He and Jennifer Garner switched looks from the sharks to the women standing on the shoreline. “THROW US THE BAG, DAMMIT!” Victoria shouted. “IT’S YOUR ONLY CHANCE!”

The swimmers hefted the bag and hurled it towards Victoria and Cindy C as hard as they could. The bag still landed in water, but it was in the shallows, and by then Cindy had entered the lake and grabbed it; she carried it out as Victor and Jennifer practically heard the fins shearing the water – they were gaining on them. Jennifer couldn’t help waiting to feel the teeth tearing through her and dragging her back out to the deep water…

And then her body hit the bottom. The shallow bottom. She and Victor had swam onto the banks, looking up at a relieved Cindy and Victoria. No time for grateful reunions – they could open it up inside. The rest of the hurricane was coming…


“Holy shit,” a startled Hater cried, pushing Beyonce off him as he rose to face the visitors to the room. What the hell was Jay-Z doing in their room, and why did he have a gun?

”What the fuck are you doing with my girl?” Jigga bellowed, his eyes brimming with anger.

Hater found it ironic that despite Jay-Z being the one with the gun, he was more scared of the woman who stood at the doorway, a ferocious scowl written on her face.

”And what the fuck are you doing with my man?” Angelina Jolie yelled.

Beyonce and Hater began to speak at the same time.

”He’s my man…”

”She’s my girl…”

”We’ll see about that,” said Angelina as she rushed towards the naked Beyonce and pushed her towards the bed.

”Hey, don’t touch me with those skanky hands,” Beyonce said, rising and shoving Angelina.

”You bitch,” Angelina cried as she again pushed her rival towards the bed, jumped on her, and began to throttle her.

Beyonce, gasping for dear life began to struggle, trying to push Angelina off her. The two men in the room did not even think to lift a finger to intervene, completely enthralled by the battle that was taking place before their very eyes.

Beyonce tried everything on her power to wring free, but was no match for the evidently stronger Angelina, who pinned Beyonce down to the bed with relative ease.

”Oh, what’s little singer girl going to do now?” she teased, “I don’t see you being so sassy now.”

”You’d better fucking let me go,” Beyonce cried, “or you’ll pay!”

”You’re my little slave now,” Angelina whispered, “and I can do to you whatever I want.”

”Like what?” Beyonce challenged, refusing to be intimidated.

”Like this,” replied Angelina as she bent forward to kiss the young black beauty.

Beyonce was taken aback for a second, and then she began to respond to kiss with equal fervor. In no time, both women were rolling around the bed feverishly making out, Beyonce ripping Angelina’s clothes off, while Angelina’s hands were passionately caressing the singer’s body.

Jay-Z and Hater, engrossed in the scenario before them, suddenly came back to life at the same instance, becoming aware of the situation before them. Jay-Z by now had the gun pointed at Hater, although he had no wish to commit any act of violence now, and would rather be left free to concentrate on the scene before him.

Hater realized he needed to break the ice and diffuse the situation, and racked his brain for something to say.

”Hey Jigga,” he called, “Can I get an autograph?”


If the TV critic for The Sun had been there, he would have cheered at the sight of Hilary Duff hitting and scratching Kate Garraway as she struggled to get out from under the presenter. Hilary managed to punch Kate in an eye, but Kate was stronger – she grabbed the girl’s head and hit the floor with it, leaving Hilary dazed, and dragged her over to Lindsay’s bed; Kate tore a long piece off her dress and tied Hilary’s hands to the bed frame as the girl tried to shake off her wooziness.

Hilary spat at Kate as the woman ripped the girl’s clothes off and took off her shoes. “Stop fighting,” Kate tut-tutted. “You’re about to be the first girl to be raped with Manolos.” Kate forced her hand between Hilary’s clamped thighs, and pulled back the shoe… and was pulled back herself.

“Playtime’s over, Garraway!” Shannon Elizabeth shouted as she grabbed the furious presenter, dragging her back kicking and demanding to be left alone, while Rachael Leigh Cook rushed over to the shaking but relieved Hilary. “We’ve already got two rapists around here… are they okay, Rach?”

Rachael nodded as she held the naked and grateful teen in her arms; they both looked at the bed-ridden Lindsay. She was looking better now that one of the threats was under control, being tied into a chair hollering about how Susan was going to get them all for this, until Hilary screamed at her to “SHUT UP!!!”

Kate shut up.

“And where’s my mom?” she continued. “I’ve got something to say to her I should have said long ago.”

Kate shook her head.

“The lady asked you a question,” said Rachael. “Where’s Susan?”

“Right here,” the mother said icily, entering too late for the main show, but just in time for the wrap-up. Hilary and the others stared at her; the woman had a set of brass ones for sure.


“What were those things doing in that lake?” Victor asked as he and the others ran as fast as they could along the path to the hotel. “I mean, how did Duff’s mum put them in there?”

“The way she treats Hilary, I wouldn’t put anything past her,” Cindy replied. “Someone should burn her eyes out and put her on a raft and push her out to sea.”

“That can be arranged,” Victoria added grimly.

“How’d you know we were out there?” Jennifer asked.

“Jabberjaw’s a shark, you can’t put sharks in the pools on the grounds, and the only body of water on this island big enough is the lake,” Cindy explained. “We thought you’d need help…”

The sky was darkening as the four rushed onto the grounds, but it was nothing next to the storm brewing inside…


“It never rains, it pours,” TRL muttered for what felt like the thousandth time as he raced down the hallway. He’d left Jodi to watch over the little kid who’d set up the video cameras taping all the sex going on, and ran towards where he’d heard the gunshot further down the hall. He could see an open door ahead already.

Oddly enough, as he pulled up, he saw ‘Hater and Jay-Z watching as Angelina Jolie and Beyonce Knowles stripped each other on the bed.

“Uh, everything all right here?” He asked.

Jay-Z, who had been signing a towel for ‘Hater, looked up.

“Who’re you?”

“TRL,” TRL replied.

“Oh, you’re like the help guy around here.”

“Yeah. Did you shoot a gun in here?”

“Oh, yeah, sorry ‘bout that, playa. Finger slipped.”

“But everything’s all right here now?” TRL asked.

In response, Beyonce moaned aloud as Angelina sunk two fingers into the singer’s snatch.

“I’ll take that as a yes…” TRL muttered as he back out of the room.


“Melissa, we’ve got more missing celebs,” Carnage Jackson said as Melissa Joan Hart and Carmella DeCasare entered the hotel bar, which was now crowded with celebs and authors.

“Missing?” Melissa said.

“I see Maria,” Carmella said. “I’ll go grab her.”

“I’ve got at least six celebs unaccounted for,” Carnage said. “Kate Beckinsale and Ashley Judd have vanished from their room-“

“We know that. We think we know who took them,” Melissa said.

“Yeah, but Mandy Moore, Keira Knightley, Kirsten Dunst, and Kate Garraway are all missing.”

“Kate’s with Susan Duff,” Melissa said with a snort. “She can stay missing for all I care. But Mandy, Keira and Kirsten are news.”

“I’ve got Maria,” Carmella said, towing the lovely reporter behind her. “Let’s get back upstairs.”

“I don’t see how my identifying these two will help,” Maria said.

“Neither do I,” Melissa muttered. “But TRL seems to think it will.”


For Kate, the worst part wasn’t the forced orgasms. It was hearing what the men were saying to Kirsten as they forced themselves on her. Their blindfolds were still on, and none of the celebs could see what was happening.

“That’s it, baby, suck my cock!”

Kate had lost track of what they were doing to poor Kirsten, but the term doubleteam could be applied.

“God, this bitch’s twat is tight!

“You gotta try her mouth, she sucks almost as well as that reporter bitch we scored with earlier!”

“Kate?” Ashley whispered suddenly.

“Ashley?” Kate asked.

“Keira’s going to try and undo my ropes. Can you scoot forward to cover what she’s doing?”

“I can try,” Kate said.

“That’s it, baby, take my cock!” One of the guards screamed. Kate couldn’t see what was going on, but she guessed the two men were occupied as they used and abused Kirsten. At that moment, all Kate wanted to do was pound her fists into the faces of the two men, but good.


Victor hurriedly locked the doors behind them as they raced inside the hotel lobby; wincing as the THEM alarm kept bleeping like the ringtone from hell, Victoria whipped out her cell phone and got in touch with TRL.

“We got the stuff! Any more good news for me? And you’d better say yes…”

“Yes, I can,” TRL said, heading back to Tim’s room. “Long story short, those of us not in our rooms are in the bar; there’s this teenage boy who’s been watching all of us but he also got the guys who might be the rapists on tape; I thought we had a murder on our hands but it was just Jay-Z and Hater playing around…”

“You wanna slow down? This weighs a ton!” Jennifer Garner shouted – they had taken turns holding the box, and she’d been stuck with it entering.

“And what about Duff?”

“Follow the noise!”

“You’ve left something out…”

“Okay… some more of the ladies are missing, but if they’re with the same guys Tim saw… ”

“Tim? Who the flying fuck is Tim?”

“The boy who’s been watching us! Look, I’ll get back to you if I’ve got some more news…”

By now the noise of the alarm was splitting their skulls; they had reached the hotel hospital, and it sounded as if there was a major catfight going on in there. Cindy pushed through the doors, and stopped dead in her tracks; she and the others were just in time to see an enraged Susan Duff send a meaty arm flying through the air and crack her daughter across the face, yelling “YOU ARE NEVER TALKING TO ME LIKE THAT AGAIN!”

“Leave her alone!” Shannon screamed, she and Rachael clutching the woman as Hilary got off the floor.

“She’s my daughter, not yours… emancipating herself?!? I am going to teach this fucking ungrateful bitch a lesson…”

“Like the one you taught Lindsay?” Cindy yelled across the room. “Victoria, can you hold onto these for a moment?” She handed the boss the envelope and the card, and faced the mother of her beloved.

“I told you what I’d do if you ever hit her again,” she added, and started towards Susan.


TRL arrived at the hidden video room at the same instant as Carmella, Melissa, Maria, and for some strange reason, Cosmo.

“Cosmo, what are you doing here?”

“I heard some of the girls went missing. I want to help.”

“We could use it,” TRL muttered. “Jodi, you got the video up for us?”

“Sure thing,” Jodi said, swatting Timmy on the back of the head. “We also think we’ve got one of Mandy Moore being taken, too.”

“She’s on the list,” Melissa said. “So are Keira and Kirsten Dunst.”

“Kirsten Dunst?” TRL said, sounding confused.

“She just went missing,” Maria said, helpfully.

“Got the first one,” Timmy said. On the main viewscreen, the image switched to the two men breaking in and grabbing Kate Beckinsale and Ashley Judd. Both naked women were quickly hauled out of the room, but for one quick instant, the faces of their kidnappers were visible on the screen.

“That’s them!” Maria said. “God, those were the two guys who I blew! Their dicks were so big, I didn’t think I’d be able to get them in my mouth…” She stopped short. “Maybe I should shut up now,” she said, realizing that everyone was looking at her with mildly disgusted looks on their faces.

“Jodi, get Natalie, Avril, Tara, and Kim up here. See if these guys match what little they know about their rapists. Carmella, you keep an eye on Timmy here. See if he’s got any more shots of the girls who were kidnapped or raped. Melissa, go to Victoria and see how she’s handling the Susan Duff thing. If she can spare them, get Rachael and Shannon and do a head count on every celeb left in the building. I need to know if anyone else is missing.”

“What are you going to do?” Carmella asked.

TRL turned to Maria. “Maria, I need your help, but it could be dangerous. I need you to bring me to the spot where you blew these two goons.”

“But that’s outside-” Jodi gasped.

“You want to go out in the hurricane?”

“It can’t be that bad,” TRL said. “Victoria and her crew just got back without too much trouble. If you’re willing, Maria, you might just lead us to our rapists.”

Maria took a deep breath. “I’ll do it,” she said.

“I’ll go too,” Cosmo said.

“I don’t think that’s such a good idea,” TRL said.

“I don’t care. There are girls out there getting raped and who knows what else. I’m not going to let that happen. Besides, do you really think you can handle two goons on your own?”

TRL sighed. “All right, but if I tell you to take Maria and run back here, you take Maria and run back here, no questions.”

“Deal,” Cosmo said.

“Let’s go grab some raincoats,” TRL muttered.


For Kirsten Dunst, the night was not going well. She’d started out after having a wonderful afternoon swimming around with Carnage by visiting her old friend Elisha Dushku, who, upon leaving Voodoo and his crew in the hot tub, had learned about the rapes. Feeling bad for her fellow celebs, Kirsten went to visit those who’d been abused. Kim Smith seemed alright, though Natalie Portman looked rather down. Avril Lavinge and Tara Reid were too busy sucking face with each other to even notice Kirsten arriving.

Natalie had asked Kirsten to bring a message to Keira Knightley. Apparently, Natalie and Keira had remained friends after filming “Episode I” together and Natalie wanted to see her old friend. However, TRL was insisting that none of the rape victims leave the room they were in. So, Kiki was more than happy to bring Keira a note.

When Kirsten had arrived at Keira’s room, though, things had gone bad in a flash. The first thing she saw was a man hoisting a very naked and very unconscious Keira out of bed. Kirsten had been so shocked, she was barely able to let out a little yelp. The next thing she knew, the man was on her, and something heavy hit the back of her head. When she came to a few minutes later, she was naked except for a blindfold and being dragged through the storm, cold water washing over her body like a tidal wave.

Now, as one of her two captors shot his load down Kiki’s mouth, she wondered just what the hell had happened. Her other captor was going at it inside her pussy, and Kirsten could tell that he wasn’t wearing a condom. The last thing Kiki wanted was to get pregnant by her rapist!

“Hurry up, man. The boss should be here soon,” the guy who Kirsten had just performed oral sex on said. The guy fucking her from behind increased his pace, and quickly stiffened, shooting his load deep inside her.

“Let him come,” the man who’d just filled Kirsten said. “He can have the others. This one’s part of our payment.”

“That ain’t the deal we agreed on,” the first guy said.

“So what? The boss isn’t interested in blondes. We can use and abuse this little all we want, than dump her in that pond with the sharks. No one will ever know.”

“Somehow, I doubt that,” the first man said. “The boss might take her anyway.”

“Then he takes her,” the second one said. “We can always grab some more pussy on the way out.”

“Storm won’t last that long,” the first one warned.

“Bah, who cares. I wanna try blondie’s throat now,” the second one said. Suddenly, Kirsten was grabbed by her hair and forced to take the cock that had just been inside her into her mouth. She slowly began to suck on it, tasting her own juices, praying that help would arrive soon.


The identity badges had a red top half with “Hi, I’m” in white writing, and a white bottom half with the guest’s name in red. Victoria ran over to Kate and tapped out -.-. … … .- (CSSA) with her fingers; instantly the alarm stopped, and everybody in the room (and the hotel) sighed in relief as Victoria plucked off Kate’s badge. Everybody except Susan Duff and Cindy Crawford; Shannon and Rachael kept a tight hold on the angry woman until Cindy clutched her, when the other two spilt up – Shannon to see if Hilary was okay, Rachael to join a now-fully-awake Lindsay.

“I ought to throw you into the hurricane right now, you fat little… THING!” Cindy snarled, and gave Susan one across the face – she normally didn’t like hitting anyone a whole foot shorter than she was, but in this case she made an exception. Susan hit back, but Cindy clutched her arms, and gradually forced the furious woman to her knees, Susan’s face on a level with Cindy’s crotch.

“You do it for a change, Susan,” she continued. “You’ve been making Hilary and Lindsay and all those others fuck for you for years – time you took the orders… lick me out and I won’t beat you to death.”

Susan looked into Cindy’s eyes; she wasn’t kidding. “But you’ve got witnesses – ”

“With a hurricane and rapists around the place?” Victoria interrupted. “We were all in our rooms. None of us saw a damn thing.” And she turned her back, leading the crowding around the box as she opened the envelope; there was a slip of paper with the words “Gardening Tools” on it. It had to be the password for the keypad, but the buttons were all numbers.

Victoria growled in frustration – “You tricked us, Duff!”

“No, wait,” Jennifer said as Shannon and a recovering Hilary joined the others. “Think phone numbers – 1 is nothing, 2 is ABC, and so on…” Slowly she pressed each number as it went with the letter, Victoria waiting with the card.

Susan tried to get up as Cindy undid her jeans, but nothing doing – “Please, I don’t want to do this!” she begged as she saw the brunette’s snatch there. “She might love this but I don’t…” Grimly, Cindy took a hard hold of Susan’s head, prepared to push it forward into her cunt… and shoved her back onto the floor, shaking her head in disgust and pulling her jeans back up. She should have known Susan couldn’t take it; it was all dishing out, just like all bullies.

“I don’t know how Hilary ever came out of you,” Cindy said before she dragged Susan over to where a silent Kate was. Tying her in place, she wanted to smack Kate until she bled for her part in this.

Jennifer had finished tapping in the numbers; Victoria swiped the card, and the box slid open, revealing a large padded envelope. She snatched it out and tore it open, and this time all the pictures were there. Hilary was there; so was Lindsay. And so were Jennifer, Cindy, the three Jessicas (Alba, Biel and Simpson), Britney, Rose, Scarlett, Nicole… it was like a CSSA convention. And Susan had been running it all, with some assistance from the men they had been servicing.

“You can still change your mind,” Kate called. “Say that Victoria tried to blame her pimping on Susan – ”

“Shut up, slimy Limey,” Lindsay managed to say from her bed. “It was the other way around and you know it… blame her, ruin the island and still keep her little ring going in secret – who’d think it was Hilary Duff’s mum selling her daughter out, right?”

“And Kate was going to help you out by breaking the story on TV,” Jennifer added. “She’ll be lucky if she has a job on public access when this comes out.”

“It might not have to,” Victor suggested. “Remember the bet? We find the stuff by sunrise, Duff leaves the island.” He waved the envelope. “The second the hurricane stops she leaves the island – and takes Kate with her. Then we all forget what happened in this room.”

“And Susan gives up being our boss,” Cindy added. “And gives up Hilary. Otherwise I come back and finish what I started.”

Susan nodded bitterly as Melissa Joan Hart arrived. “Did I miss anything?” she asked.

“You and every news agency on the planet,” Hilary replied, smiling in relief.


TRL, Maria, and Cosmo were all out of the building by the time the “Them” alarm had been silenced, but they hadn’t been able to hear it since they stepped outside anyway. The eye of the storm that had allowed the others to move about without too much trouble was long gone now, and wind and rain ruled the night. It was early morning now, closing in on 4 a.m. and while hints of Caribbean sunrise were hours away storm or no storm, the weariness of the long day was cutting into the intrepid three.

“Jack Bauer’s got nothing on us,” Cosmo hollered over the noise as he helped keep Maria on the ground.

“Funny, I said the same thing earlier today,” TRL shouted back, leaning against the wind and moving deeper into the jungle. “Or was that yesterday?”

“How much further, Maria?” Cosmo cried out.

“Not far! We were right in the middle of the jungle!” Maria replied loudly. Her yellow raincoat wasn’t doing much to keep her dry – especially when gusts of wind blew it up exposing her bikini bottoms. In fact, if Maria had to guess, if there was a dry part in her entire body, it might have been her mouth – if TRL was right, the rapists/kidnapers could be near by. What TRL thought he and Cosmo could do against these guys, she didn’t know, but she hoped she wouldn’t have to find out.

“Up ahead!” she cried, pointing to where the center of the island jutted up into a large, rocky hill in the middle of the jungle. Victoria had jokingly thought to call it “Mount Victoria,” when she first purchased the island, but KMB’s repeated sayings of “Yes, please,” got old far too fast. The small mountain, if it could even be called that, remained nameless.

“Was it right around here?” TRL cried out, pointing towards a nearly flat side to the rock ledge.

“Yes!” Maria said, looking around. “One of the guys held on to the rocks as he came!”

“Why the hell are we here?” Cosmo cried out. “There’s nothing here! No rapists, no kidnappers, no celebs! Nothing!”

“Nothing?” TRL said, pointing towards the side of the hill. “Look how that water is running down the hill. There’s something cutting the flow about seven feet up!”

“So?” Cosmo and Maria replied together.

In response, TRL moved over to the side of the mountain, not far from where he was pointing. Suddenly, he turned back towards the others and smiled. He put one arm out and put it against the side of the hill – and then moved half his body behind the subtle little rock ledge, entering a hidden cave.

“Whoa! How on earth did you spot that?!” Cosmo cried, coming over and seeing the cave entrance for the first time.

“Good eyes!” TRL replied. “You go first! Maria, you follow him. I’ll bring up the rear. Let’s see what’s inside!”

Cosmo was happy to leap inside first, moving quickly. Maria followed a little more cautiously until TRL gave her a little shove to move her along. The cave was dark for several meters, moving deep inside the hill and up a little, keeping it dry. Outside, the hurricane was still making noise, so it came as a complete surprise to Cosmo and Maria when they turned a corner-

– and walked right into Kirsten Dunst getting raped up the ass.

Maria was about to scream when she was shoved from behind. Cosmo saw her fall and was about to leap to grab her when his entire world went black.


Victoria’s office was completely empty, what with the lady herself down dealing with Susan Duff, and all of TRL’s assistants about helping clean up the mess around the hotel.

So no one was around when Victoria’s phone to the mainland began to ring. It rang for several long seconds before finally the answering machine picked up.

“Hello, Lover,” Victoria’s sexy recorded voice said. “I’m busy doing something hot and sweaty, and can’t come to the phone right now. But if you leave a message, I’ll call you back as soon as I’m done.”

The phone beeped, and a new voice was recorded.

“Christ, I finally get through to the island, and no one’s awake to get my call. Victoria, if you get this message, it’s me, TRL. I’m still stuck here in Florida – there was a mix up with my flight from Vermont yesterday, and now with this hurricane, I can’t get out to you. I’m so sorry I wasn’t there for the start of CSSA Spring Break. I know I promised to help greet everyone and be your problem solver. I hope you haven’t had too much trouble while I’ve been gone. I’m going to try and get a boat out to you as soon as the storm clears, but that could still be a while. Don’t expect me before noon. Hope to see you soon.”

With that, the answering machine saved the message, and a little red light blinked alone in the office, signaling that it had something to say.


Maria hit the floor hard, her hands scraping against the cold stone. She cried out, and would have tried to get up, except for Cosmo’s body falling on top of her. She looked over at him, and saw a tiny trail of blood flowing off the back of his head.

“What the fuck are you two doing?” TRL demanded, dropping a rock next to Cosmo’s head and stepping over the two bodies at the entrance to the cave.

“Sorry, boss, but this one was snooping around, and I just thought-” the man buried in Kirsten Dunst’s ass said, slowly withdrawing his cock. Kirsten was in bad shape, cum coating her body in a couple of places. Off to the side, Ashley Judd, Kate Beckinsale, Mandy Moore, and Keira Knightley lay tied up on the floor, naked save for their blindfolds.

“I told you no blondes,” TRL muttered, moving over and smacking the man on the head.

“But she saw me taking the Knightley girl!”

“I left you the damn Knightley girl out cold on the bed when I finished with her!” TRL snapped. “How the fuck did she catch you running away with her?”

“She walked in the door,” the other man said.

“What’s going on?” Maria asked. “Who are you?”

TRL turned to her. “Tie her up. You can keep her blindfold off, though. No time for that now. The boat will be arriving soon.”

“Yes, boss,” both men said, moving over the pull Maria out from under Cosmo’s unconscious form.

“Let me go!” Maria screamed.

“Hey, I know you! You’re the reporter bitch who sucked us off earlier,” one of the men said.

“And don’t think about getting a repeat performance,” TRL muttered, going to the back of the cave and opening up a chest that was there. He pulled out a long range radio and spoke into it.

“Miguel, are you ready?” TRL said.

“Si, boss. We’re on our way now. This weather’s not so bad when your boat’s built for it.”

“Just be here on time,” TRL muttered.

“You aren’t TRL,” Maria said.

“Who are you?” Kirsten asked, unable to remain quiet any longer.

“My name’s not important,” The man formerly known as TRL said, looking at the two girls. “But, Miss Menounos, since you are a former reporter, I’ll let you in on a little scoop.”

“Former reporter?” Maria said, confused.

“That’s right,” Not-TRL said. “As of this moment on, you’re a sex slave. A very expensive sex slave, who’s going to make me a cool thirty million dollars in Singapore.”

“What?!” Kirsten cried out.

“Miss Judd over there?” Not-TRL continued, ignoring the blonde’s out cry, “I’ve got a buyer for her in Moscow. Someone up there seems to enjoy your naked titties, Ashley.” Ashley moaned in response.

“Miss Beckinsale has a nice old man waiting to fuck her ass in Tokyo, and Miss Knightley’s actually going home to London – There’s a doctor there who’s looking forward to seeing her after hours every night, in his own private operating room.”

“And Mandy here?” Not-TRL said, moving over to pull Mandy’s head up by her hair. “Let’s just say that little miss American-princess is going to end up aiding and abetting certain not-so-friendly-to-the-States men in Saudi Arabia.” With that, he dropped Mandy back to the floor, where she banged her head slightly on the floor.

Maria was tied up now, her arms strapped behind her back tight. The men had ripped off her raincoat and bikini, leaving her naked. Her shaved pussy shone in the firelight, and the water dripping off her nipples could be seen mixing with tears from her face.

“How did you get in here?” Kirsten asked.

“Easily,” Not-TRL said. “My people have had Victoria’s cell phone bugged for a year now. When we learned that this ‘TRL’ fellow would be doing most of the work with the celebs, I just had my hacker make sure his flight was diverted. These authors are all so stupid; they’ve never met in person, so ANYONE could be ANYONE. Victoria gave me all the access I needed to get the celebs I needed for the big score, and I got all the pussy I could ask for, too.”

“You’re the rapist!” Maria said suddenly. “It was you!”

“Very good, Maria,” Not-TRL said, grabbing her face by the chin and squeezing. “You would have made a great investigative reporter. I did indeed rape Kim Smith, Tara Reid, and Avril Lavinge, who was so stupid, after I raped her mouth, she let me fuck her pussy not ten minutes later!”

“What about Natalie?” Kirsten asked.

“Natalie was Carlos here,” Not-TRL muttered, jerking a finger towards one of the two guards. “While Jesus was setting up this little hide out, he got bored and thought he’d help the cause a little.”

“It worked,” Carlos said. “Everyone was really scared of the rapist after I raped that Portman bitch.”

“Portman wasn’t on the list!” Not-TRL snapped. “You were told to stay to the list!”

“Sorry, boss.”

“That, unfortunately, leaves me with you, Miss Dunst,” Not-TRL muttered, moving over by the other tied-up girls. He yanked on Kate’s hair, drawing her up onto her knees. “See, I’ve got buyers for these five already. But you, Miss Dunst, are just a bonus.”

“Let me and Jesus have her, boss,” Carlos said, moving closer to the naked Kirsten. “We’ll get rid of her when we’re done.”

“You two have done enough,” Not-TRL muttered. “No. I think maybe the Sultan of Brunei might be looking for another whore. ‘Course, I haven’t had a blonde since Tara Reid earlier, so the poor Sultan might get his new toy used.”

“She’s a good fuck, boss,” Jesus said. “Try the ass.”

“Later,” TRL muttered, pulling off Kate’s blindfold. “Miss Beckinsale, are you ready for your little trip?”

“Please let us go,” Kate pleaded.

“Sorry, no go,” Not-TRL said. “You’re worth fifty million, my dear. With you six girls, I can retire on an island not far from here, fucking all the local ladies I like.”

“Don’t bloody count on it!” Keira cried out. Suddenly, her previously tied foot came flying up, connecting with Not-TRL’s crotch. The man screamed, clutching his balls as his face turned blue and he fell to the floor. All this yakking had given her plenty of time to work out of her bonds.

“Boss!” Carlos and Jesus cried out. They ran towards their down boss. But what they had forgotten was that in all their excitement, they had yet to get dressed. And if Keira could smash Not-TRL’s balls while they were in their pants, Ashley Judd had no problem at all using her untied hands to grab both men’s family jewels and pull. Hard.

As the three men lay writhing on the floor, the freed girls jumped up, moving to those who were still tied.

“We need help,” Kate said. “Those guys won’t be down for long.”

“I know how to get some,” Keira said. She walked over to Not-TRL and, recalling all her practice sessions from “Bend It Like Beckham,” delivered a massive kick to the slave-trader’s head. As the man rolled unconscious on the ground, Keira grabbed his walkie talkie. Not the one for the boat, but rather the one he’d been using to masquerade as TRL.

“Hello? Hello?” Keira said into the radio. “Can anyone hear me? We need help and fast!”

“Keira?” Rachael Leigh Cook’s voice came back. “Where are you?”

“In a cave in the middle of the island,” the British Actress said. “Send help, fast!”

“Ouch,” Cosmo muttered, struggling to get to his feet. “What hit me?”

“A rock,” Kirsten replied as she struggled with Maria’s bonds. “Can you help us get out of here?”

“Sure, no problem,” Cosmo said. “What happened to TRL?”

“It’s not TRL,” Mandy said as Ashley managed to untie her legs. “And these two guys are not our friends.”

“Help’s coming,” Keira said. She quickly gave both Jesus and Carlos swift kicks to their skulls, as well. “Victoria’s rounding up a posse as we speak.”

“C’mon,” Cosmo said as soon as all six girls were able to move. “Let’s get out of here. No one’s going to believe this story, even if we told them.”

“I wonder how much I was worth,” Keira muttered as they ran out of the cave. By the time they reached the outdoors, the hurricane was almost gone, and Victoria was there with Jodi, Carmella, Melissa, Rachael, Shannon, Carnage Jackson, KMB, Rich Wilson, Victor, Butch, Hater and Jay-Z, and even a very prune-skinned Voodoo Joe.


“On your mark…”

The group of authors and celebrities waited for Victoria’s cue, each and every one of them glad to be back to the main purpose of the whole CSSA Spring Break event.

“…get set…”

Those that were wearing any quickly removed their clothes, hungrily scanning the crowd for their first of many conquests.


Victoria leapt from the stage and ran towards her first target. On the way, she saw Jen and Laura share a passionate kiss before parting ways. She saw Rachel Stevens kneel in front of Jubilee, one determined to make up for forcing Jubilee to venture into MF, the other determined not to tell Rach how much she’d liked it for fear of having to do it again. Then she saw him, unoccupied. She didn’t care where his partner was; she just knew that her not being there made it that much easier for her to have him. Running up to him, she took him in a long embrace, pressing her lips to his and snaking her tongue into his mouth. She broke the kiss and whispered huskily into his ear, “Fuck me, KMBaby.”

Rawballz had died and gone to Heaven. There was no other possible explanation. Where on Earth could he possibly be fucking Roselyn Sanchez AND sucking on Jamie Pressly’s tits at the same time? And even if that were possible, what were the odds that Roselyn would be furiously licking Jamie’s pussy, causing her sweet cream to pour into the Latina starlet’s mouth? It was either Heaven or a dream. “And if it’s a dream,” he thought to himself, “I never want to wake up.”

Mila Kunis moaned as she rode Mr. Fantastic’s cock. She rubbed and pinched her breasts, fingertips teasing her nipples as she bounced up and down on his hard prick. Mr. F was staring up at her when suddenly, his view was blocked. Upon further inspection, he found that the obstruction was a pussy, one with beautiful, flaming red hair. There was only one natural redhead at CSSA Spring Break, so it was without a shadow of a doubt that he shoved his tongue into the dripping snatch of Laura Prepon. Laura moaned as she felt his tongue, and then started kissing her younger costar’s breasts. Now it was Mila’s turn to moan, the double pleasure of Mr. F’s cock and Laura’s mouth sending her careening towards orgasm. One last powerful thrust from Mr. F sent her over the edge, her cunt clamping down on his throbbing member as her cream poured. The sensation of Mila tightening proved to be enough for the Fantastic one, and he shot his milky load into her. Mila slowly got off of him, and Laura bent down to lick his cock clean.

Even if she had known about her friend’s position, Jen wouldn’t have traded places with Laura for the world. “That’s it, baby,” Liz Phair moaned, petting Jen’s hair, “suck Mommy’s titties. You’re such a good little girl, aren’t you Jenny?” Normally, the redheaded author hated being called Jenny, but if it meant that she got to worship Liz’ breasts, then the Blowjob Queen could have called her Jan for all she cared. Jenny continued to suck, her mouth wrapped tightly around Liz’ areola and her tongue flicking at the nipple. Her eyes shot open in surprise when she felt a pair of hands on her ass, but a reassuring “Shhh…” from Liz was all it took for Jen to close her eyes and resume her sucking. As the warm, wet tongue slowly made its way into her ass, Jen had a hard time deciding which felt better; the soft licking was obviously pleasurable, but the continual, almost mindless sucking of Liz’ breast filled her with a sense of inner peace.

Slowly but surely, the individual groups of lovers melded into one giant mass of sex. Bodies were being licked, sucked, fingered and fucked as far as the eye could see. Natalie Portman was licking Beyonce’s breasts while Christina Aguilera slammed a strap-on into her ass. Professor Moriarty was eating out Alyssa Milano while Amber Tamblyn licked his cock. Sara Violet was licking Keira Knightley’s asshole while she sucked off Butch. Victoria and Jubilee, having both split from their prior partners, found themselves locked in a 69. But away from the teeming masses, one couple sat in beach chairs, taking a break from fucking to marvel at what they had created.

“This is all yours, man,” Rose said, clinking glasses with her companion. “Without you, none of this happens.”

“This isn’t for me,” KMB replied, gesturing to the gathering of authors and celebrities. “This is a tribute to the man who started it all.” KMB swallowed the last of his champagne, refilled his glass, and lifted it into the air. Rose did the same, and with one simple word they recognized the man who had set it all up, the real reason they had all been able to come to Victoria’s Island for CSSA Spring Break.


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