Not to be read by anyone under 18, unless you’re a hot chick.
In which case my address is:
6669 NE 42nd St.
Goose Creek, SC (not really, but you can still drop by and see who lives there if you want)
The following is completely fictional. Any resemblance to reality is entirely coincidental. Contents of this story are merely creative license, not unlike a TV show or movie that uses real people in fictional settings and situations. However, if you do have video or pictures of events similar to the ones described below, feel free to forward them to me for closer examination. Feedback, comments, praise, criticism, death threats, nude photos, etc. can be sent to voodoojoe2000 at yahoo dot com (come on, you can assemble that into an actual e-mail address).
For personal use only. Feel free to distribute to friends, enemies, lovers, hopeful lovers, whatever, just keep my name and e-mail address on the story or I shall hunt you down and make you write the whole damn thing out by hand.
Celebs of choice in this story are Nina Dobrev, Molly Quinn, Victoria Justice, Vanessa Hudgens, Stella Hudgens, McKayla Maroney, Rachel Bilson, Katherine McNamara, and Olivia Holt. The codes are (FF, cons, oral, anal, toys). Go fuck yourself and go read something else if you dislike those codes or want something more. Or better yet, write it yourself.